Violet Stands Up to the Challenge ~ Supported By Her PSST Skills - by Violet Posted by:Sally--Sunday, June 05, 2011

...I am now in mama bear mode protecting her cub. ~ Violet

As I reflect on the events of the past week I find the tools I have learned from our meetings has changed not only the way I interact with my son but the way I interact on his behalf and in the life of the addicts family, where there is limited positive reinforcement, this has shown to be beneficial. So back to the story...

Court for Sal for Consent Decree Review – via probation violation – was Tuesday. His PO is not there so I have a replacement. As I sat waiting for our turn I am confident in what I will say to his judge. Filled with this confidence Sal’s PD [who I might add looks 18 or is it just that I have aged so much through this ordeal] approaches me. She proceeds to interrogate me but she is unaware that I am armed with PSST tools that prevent this from occurring and I am able to turn the tables.

Since we have hours, I utilize this time informing her of my ultimate intent, to save my son’s life. She tries to persuade me towards her position, or as she claims my son’s but I am not budging. She is no match for the mother of an addict. I explain that my son, being a teen and an addict has no idea what is best for him and that I feel it is irresponsible for her to not try and discuss with my son options to save his life. She tries to scare me with a suppression motion. But again as the mother of an addict that is small in comparison to what I have been scared with. Since I have unfortunately been in this position more than once I inform her the judge will be notified of my concerns and recommendations based on my observations which she cannot suppress.

As I puff out my chest she moves away. The line in the sand is drawn.

Then unexpectedly the Tip staff informs us that the case will probably have to be continued because Sal was taken to the hospital because he was throwing up.

I am ashamed to admit I immediately wondered what he took. Since he is technically a prisoner no one was allowed to know where he was taken. Well as the mother of an addict I had to utilize the detective skills I had acquired, which I might add have become quite astute. I found out which hospital he was in and after several tries found a nurse to talk to me. Evidently Sal had bloody urine and it was determined via CAT scan he has kidney stones and one was trying to pass.

At this point we had to ask the judge for a court order so I could see Sal and the case was continued until Thursday. I might add the texts were flying to Val who was such an asset.

As I arrive at the hospital Sal is handcuffed to the cart with the Sheriff by his side. I tell the sheriff I have a court order to see my son but he says he hasn’t received it so I can’t.

Well I am now in mamma bear mode protecting her cub. I speak to Sal over the Sheriff so I can get a handle on his status. The Sheriff tells me to leave the area and I inform him that the hospital is the only one that can remove me from the general emergency area. Hence the arrival of a woman police officer. I am at this point wondering if juvenile probation can help out me should I end up arrested.

Since I am also a nurse I decided to go into the medical mode and found Sal’s physician who was quite willing to tell me whatever I wanted to know probably wanting the disruption to stop. I was told Sal had passed one stone but still has another in the kidney. They were releasing him on medication which included, get ready, Vicodan.

Well at this point I went from medical mode to just raving lunatic. Informing the Doctor that it was negligent of him not to know Sal was an addict. After all that’s what we were in court for. Didn't he notice Sal was handcuffed to the cart? Maybe he missed the sheriff standing next to him? I suggested alternate medications which he was more than happy to write after he ran over to the sheriff to grab the script of Vicodan. OMG!!!

So Sal was sent to Auberle to await court. I now scramble to once again change my work schedule for Court Thursday. I am wondering how many of us get no vacations because all our days are spent for counseling, court etc. Anyways I go see Sal, he is not looking to good but is better than he was. I again inform him of my intent to tell his judge what I have observed and what I feel is needed. He did try some manipulation of that conversation but I had learned the best response and told him no one was permitted to sensor my speech and that court was my chance to work my program. Conversation over.

It is now Wednesday. I see the number for Auberle on my phone. Again that sinking feeling returns. A call from placement is never to tell you how good your child is doing. It seems Sal had another attack from his kidney stone and was once again in the hospital. This time they keep him and consult a urologist and a surgeon. OK, now the texts are flying again. I must mention that although his P.O. was off she was in contact with Val regarding the events and called me to check on Sal’s condition. It is P.O.’s like her that make a difference in saving our children. I am very grateful.

In the meantime I receive a call from Sal’s PD who asks me to have Sal released to my custody so the Sheriffs do not have to stay with him in the hospital. Obviously she has no clue what she is asking. Her lack of concern for the best interest of my son and me is again apparent. I informed her that I was NOT COMFORTABLE with that decision and it was not going to occur. The fact a sheriff must stay is not a rule I made THEREFORE it was not my responsibility. OMG!!

So more tests for Sal. Surgeon says no surgery. The other stone has not passed yet but Sal is OK. Court is now rescheduled for Tuesday, so once again I rearrange my schedule and take another vacation day.

At this point Sal is realizing he will go to another placement. He has tried some manipulation to dictate where he will go but I am holding firm. If I say he should go to A he wants to go to B,C or D.

He has begun to ask about where I want him to go, which is the Youth Forestry Program a 12 week program. Perfect. They have agreed to let him out a few days early so he can go back to college which for him I believe is a positive thing. He now seems settling in to the idea. His behavior is good and he looks healthy which is a lot easier for him when he is in placement.

I am confident his judge will go along with our recommendations but if I see his PD trying to steer it in another direction I will not hesitate to speak up. For you see, I am stronger even if I feel like I am falling apart, I will stand up for what I believe. I have the strength for this never ending fight because of you who have taught me, you who have stood beside me in my darkest hours, you who have picked my son up from the abyss of addiction and given him guidance, accountability and most important life.

Because of you today and maybe just for today I have hope.

Violet

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