Rocco and I are the weary travelers on this treacherous road of recovery. We have been at it now at continuously persistent speed for at least four years. Even before we met all the wonderful people at PSST and his recovery facility we will call Second Run we tried many avenues to aid our son in his recovery.
Cisco left Second Run tonight. He walked away from the facility after taking a drug test that he knew would come out positive.
I cringed when I saw the number of Tom, the director of the facility, show up on my phone. After a few years, you develop a sixth sense about a phone call and you realize when you are about to hear bad news.
We sent Cisco a text and explained that he should make a good choice and go back to New Beginnings so that Tom could work with him on this. He texted back that he was interested and we told him we would transport him back (with no lecture) if he would tell us where he was. We did not hear anything else from him. We do not know where he is or what he is doing. We let him know that we would be at our regular Tuesday meeting and we hoped he would be there.
I am simply hoping that we do not get a phone call tonight from the police or worse.
As for Rocco and I, we are seeing this in a very similar manner. I am thankful for this because it is so easy for an addict to drive a wedge between his parents. It is difficult to agree on some of the decisions that need to be made at a time like this.
Maybe it did not fully sink in yet or maybe I have finally mastered the art of detachment but I am in control of my emotions on this one. Rocco said that Cisco needs to 'hit bottom' and even though the weather is nice at this time of year, (he will not freeze his a$$ off - this became a controversy between Rocco and I last winter when Cisco walked away from a different program) he can hit bottom when he gets hungry and tired and has nowhere to rest. 
I agree with Rocco on this one.
We have done all that we could to help our son. We are running short of tools in our tool box. There are just some loose screws and nuts rattling around in there at this point.
On the other hand Cisco is carrying around a lot of good tools with him. He better put his Tools for Recovery to good use.
He is the only one who can build a strong structure called recovery.
Two Tiresome Travelers Tell Their Troublesome Tale
Posted by:Sally--Monday, June 13, 2011
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4 comments:
Sally and Rocco - I am so sorry that you are going through yet another chapter in the long saga of Cisco's addiction - but i have noticed you are still strong, realistic in your outlook, and noticably more detatched as of late. Your stregnth and tenacity are an inspiration - you are awesome parents. I am thinking of you guys.
My dear Sally and Rocco.I do understand the older our addict children become the more limited our resources are to help them. You have provided Cisco with so much clean time that just maybe he will make the better choice. Not knowing where he is weighs so heavy now and my heart aches for you.Your strength is a lesson in perseverance for us all.My prayers are with you and I am asking the angels of protection to surround Cisco so no harm will come to him.
Violet
Dear Max and Violet,
Thank you for your encouraging words and for your prayers.
Cisco is safe.
Rocco and I both just returned from our evening classes for we are determined to continue our lives as usual. I will write a short post tonight to update you.
Thank you once again for your concern, it means so much to us.
Sally
Sally and Rocco,
We missed you tonight, and kept you in our thoughts and prayers. Glad to know Cisco is safe. Every day of safety is a blessing.
Joan
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