So far we have four Big Dog posts.
Each post gives some practical tips on how to be the parent-in-charge. We understand that being a good listener, being supportive, and using the art of compromise all play a part in being a positive well-rounded parent; however, if part of the problem is that the parent is not established as the "one-in-charge" then until that problem is addressed, none of these other parental skills will bear much fruit.
Who is the Big Dog in your car?
Who is the Big Dog at home featuring use of the word "NOW."
Who is the Big Dog featuring how to Accept a Win.
Ask Me Again Ask Me Again (Who is the Big Dog?)
There are times when we don't want to admit that our teenager has over time become "the one-in-charge." We feel like failures when we admit that. Until we face that it is difficult to take back control and the fact that we are in denial about it is big problem. If we have concrete ways in which we can begin to take back control it becomes possible to begin to change things. Every journey begins with the first small step.
We do not advocate that you take back control by being mean, belittling, or abusive. We certainly don't think yelling is a way to regain control, in fact, yelling and loosing control of ourselves is a sure way to forfeit leadership. Rather, taking a firm, business-like approach to putting limits on our teen's behavior can, over time, help put a parent back in the driver's seat.
Also, there is a lot of interest currently on our blog about contract writing. This is another great way for parents to put themselves in the drivers seat so long as the rules are enforced.
"If you have a rule that you are either unwilling or unable to enforce, then don't have that rule." BACK IN CONTROL Gregory Bodenhamer.
Big Dog series
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Sunday, January 27, 2013
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Being a bit of a Dog Whisperer fan, I look forward to this series of posts. Cesar (the Dog Whisperer) often points out to the owner that a dog isn't secure until it knows who is in charge. If it isn't the owner, then it will be the dog.
Reminds me of last summer, when you delicately mentioned that our son Serge was looking pretty powerful in our home. Someone has to be in charge. If it's not us, then it would be Serge. It took a lot of work, new meds and a real attitude adjustment, but once we reclaimed our "pack leader" status and stuck to our boundaries, we've seen his aggressive behaviors subside. There are still many issues surrounding his mental health, but at least our home is a safe and mostly calm place.
Post a Comment