At our July 3rd meeting, we are going to start our meeting off by helping PSST parents write their own DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE via contract writing! In preparation, you can read about contracts in the post directly below this one, and we are also going to afford you a chance to read Three Scenarios that we will be using (in small groups) to build contracts. You won't really know ahead of time which of the scenarios you will be chosen to work on.
If we have enough parents we will divide up into three smaller groups and ask each group to build a contract for each of the seperate scenarios, given the limited amount of info you get in each scenario. Then, we are asking each smaller group to role-play the Contract Scenario. No one has to be part of the role-play and, indeed, usally everyone can't get involved because you only need two or three to do a role-play; although if you want to include a PO and/ or a Therapist in your role-play you can raise that to three, four, or five.
Additionally, we are OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS on scenarios. If you write one up and email it to Sally or me ahead of time, it is possible that we will add yours to the mix or use the one you submit instead of one of the three listed here. You can find Sally's email up at the top right of our blog. Mine is lloyd.woodward@alleghenycourts.us
This way everyone who reads the blog gets a chance to add to the fun ahead of time if they like. In fact, I'm sure that preferential treatment will be given to any scenarios that are submitted by parents over the three that I have listed here, but at least these three should give the reader an idea of what we are looking for. Each scenario should be no longer than one page if possible. Like they used to say on Dragnet, "Just the facts, Ma'am." Please use pen names.
Scenario 1: Johnny
Juvenile: Johnny is 16. He has finished outpatient. He stayed clean for the whole time. Now he is out of rehab for three weeks. The parents think he might be using again or he might be starting to use again. For one thing the school reports that he has started skipping some of his classes again. For another, his old friends have started to call him again although he denies that he has been hanging out with them. Also, he has come home late several times now, at 1:00 in the morning and he won’t say why he is late.
John is into music. He writes a lot of his own music. The parents don’t understand it but it seems to have a lot of blood, violence, sex and drugs in it for their liking. John lives with his father and his stepmother. He insists that if they have to sit down to do a contract that his stepmother not be a part of it. He resents her apparently and often is disrespectful to her by saying things like, “you should know.” And “it takes one to know one.” He is also fond of reminding her, “You’re not my mother.” He never swears or calls her names but his statements to her often carry a disrespectful tone and imply that she has done something very wrong by being his stepmother. Johnny’s mother has remarried and now lives in Arizona. She calls and writes a couple times a month but she has stated that she is not prepared to provide a home for him and that he needs to work it out with his father. Johnny refuses to be drug tested. He also most of the time refuses to do any house hold chores or to keep his room clean. When confronted, he says “Let her do it (meaning his stepmother.) Have three people play the stepmother, the father, and John and build a contract for Johnny.
Scenario 2: Sue
Sue thinks that her mother is unfair. She knows that her mother and her father both did drugs at one time and now her mom doesn’t do drugs or drink anymore. Dad seems to be out of town a lot. Parents don’t live together anymore but Sue, who is 15 years old, goes to stay at Dad’s house once or twice a month. He lives close by with his mother who takes on most of the parenting tasks anyway. The Paternal Grandmother and the mother have always been cordial but never close. Sue has been in IOP (Intensive Outpatient)for three weeks. She has dirty urine for weed but only one time. She does well at school and getting her out of bed in the morning is no problem. She was caught doing weed at school originally and so now she attends an alternative school. She has made some new friends from the alternative school but the parents think they are creepy. Sue says they don’t use drugs. Sue says that when she gets out of IOP she will use again. This scares her mother and her father. The parents and the school insisted that she attend IOP and she seems angry and says that she will get even some day- “you just wait, MOM, someday you’ll be sorry you and Dad turned against me.” Really, it was the school that insisted that sue go to IOP but still Sue is angry about that. Sue loves to play Halo online. It’s her passion. She prides herself that she is one of the few girls who really know Halo. Sometimes she is up all night playing and texting on her cell phone. Her cell phone is so fancy that all her friends are jealous. Her father has bought it for her without consulting mom. Sue keeps her room clean and now and then she helps out around the house but it’s never something she does on a regular basis. Sue went to a few 12-step meetings but she can’t stand them and says she will never go back. Father and mother get together with Sue to do a contract.
Scenario 3: Freddy
Freddy can’t wake up for school. When he gets to school he does great but he usually misses several morning classes. The mother has tried a lot of things to wake him up but nothing seems to work. He gets really angry when his parents try to wake him up and he calls them names, curses, and breaks things. A he is 17 years old. He has never had a relationship with his father. He completed inpatient and then completed IOP. He was able to stay away from all old people places and things and he has stayed clean for nine months now. He went to a lot of 12-step meetings but he doesn’t go anymore- says he doesn’t need meetings and that he doesn’t want to get high anyways. His girlfriend and he met when he was inpatient. They have been dating since they got out. She has relapsed to alcohol a couple of times but Freddy stays clean. She doesn’t go to 12-step anymore either. Freddy has a chance to graduate high school on time- he is almost 18-but the fact that he can’t get up is a big problem. He has his own car and a part-time job but he is still on his mother’s insurance and she holds the title to his car, which he is paying her back for helping to buy it. He works three days a week after school and he never misses work and he is never late. He drives to school. The mother has tried to tell him that if he doesn’t get up and get to school on time he will not be able to drive. He says Ok, and then if he can’t drive he won’t go to school at all. The mother feels desperate to see her son graduate so she backs off. Recently, however, she has been reading up on contracts with teenagers and she decides to put one together for Freddy. Freddy’s mother still randomly urine screens him a couple times a week and he is always clean. She has made it clear that if he uses he will have to go back into treatment and/or get out of the house. Neither is something Freddy wants to do. He knows that his mother is serious about the drugs but he believes that is all she really cares enough about to take action over. He doesn’t mind the drug tests. He doesn’t mind much except getting up for school otherwise he is pretty easy to get along with. Freddy and mom meet to do a contract. (Video below is Happy Fourth of July from Kathie & Lloyd)
If we have enough parents we will divide up into three smaller groups and ask each group to build a contract for each of the seperate scenarios, given the limited amount of info you get in each scenario. Then, we are asking each smaller group to role-play the Contract Scenario. No one has to be part of the role-play and, indeed, usally everyone can't get involved because you only need two or three to do a role-play; although if you want to include a PO and/ or a Therapist in your role-play you can raise that to three, four, or five.
Additionally, we are OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS on scenarios. If you write one up and email it to Sally or me ahead of time, it is possible that we will add yours to the mix or use the one you submit instead of one of the three listed here. You can find Sally's email up at the top right of our blog. Mine is lloyd.woodward@alleghenycourts.us
This way everyone who reads the blog gets a chance to add to the fun ahead of time if they like. In fact, I'm sure that preferential treatment will be given to any scenarios that are submitted by parents over the three that I have listed here, but at least these three should give the reader an idea of what we are looking for. Each scenario should be no longer than one page if possible. Like they used to say on Dragnet, "Just the facts, Ma'am." Please use pen names.
Scenario 1: Johnny
Juvenile: Johnny is 16. He has finished outpatient. He stayed clean for the whole time. Now he is out of rehab for three weeks. The parents think he might be using again or he might be starting to use again. For one thing the school reports that he has started skipping some of his classes again. For another, his old friends have started to call him again although he denies that he has been hanging out with them. Also, he has come home late several times now, at 1:00 in the morning and he won’t say why he is late.
John is into music. He writes a lot of his own music. The parents don’t understand it but it seems to have a lot of blood, violence, sex and drugs in it for their liking. John lives with his father and his stepmother. He insists that if they have to sit down to do a contract that his stepmother not be a part of it. He resents her apparently and often is disrespectful to her by saying things like, “you should know.” And “it takes one to know one.” He is also fond of reminding her, “You’re not my mother.” He never swears or calls her names but his statements to her often carry a disrespectful tone and imply that she has done something very wrong by being his stepmother. Johnny’s mother has remarried and now lives in Arizona. She calls and writes a couple times a month but she has stated that she is not prepared to provide a home for him and that he needs to work it out with his father. Johnny refuses to be drug tested. He also most of the time refuses to do any house hold chores or to keep his room clean. When confronted, he says “Let her do it (meaning his stepmother.) Have three people play the stepmother, the father, and John and build a contract for Johnny.Scenario 2: Sue
Sue thinks that her mother is unfair. She knows that her mother and her father both did drugs at one time and now her mom doesn’t do drugs or drink anymore. Dad seems to be out of town a lot. Parents don’t live together anymore but Sue, who is 15 years old, goes to stay at Dad’s house once or twice a month. He lives close by with his mother who takes on most of the parenting tasks anyway. The Paternal Grandmother and the mother have always been cordial but never close. Sue has been in IOP (Intensive Outpatient)for three weeks. She has dirty urine for weed but only one time. She does well at school and getting her out of bed in the morning is no problem. She was caught doing weed at school originally and so now she attends an alternative school. She has made some new friends from the alternative school but the parents think they are creepy. Sue says they don’t use drugs. Sue says that when she gets out of IOP she will use again. This scares her mother and her father. The parents and the school insisted that she attend IOP and she seems angry and says that she will get even some day- “you just wait, MOM, someday you’ll be sorry you and Dad turned against me.” Really, it was the school that insisted that sue go to IOP but still Sue is angry about that. Sue loves to play Halo online. It’s her passion. She prides herself that she is one of the few girls who really know Halo. Sometimes she is up all night playing and texting on her cell phone. Her cell phone is so fancy that all her friends are jealous. Her father has bought it for her without consulting mom. Sue keeps her room clean and now and then she helps out around the house but it’s never something she does on a regular basis. Sue went to a few 12-step meetings but she can’t stand them and says she will never go back. Father and mother get together with Sue to do a contract.
Scenario 3: Freddy
Freddy can’t wake up for school. When he gets to school he does great but he usually misses several morning classes. The mother has tried a lot of things to wake him up but nothing seems to work. He gets really angry when his parents try to wake him up and he calls them names, curses, and breaks things. A he is 17 years old. He has never had a relationship with his father. He completed inpatient and then completed IOP. He was able to stay away from all old people places and things and he has stayed clean for nine months now. He went to a lot of 12-step meetings but he doesn’t go anymore- says he doesn’t need meetings and that he doesn’t want to get high anyways. His girlfriend and he met when he was inpatient. They have been dating since they got out. She has relapsed to alcohol a couple of times but Freddy stays clean. She doesn’t go to 12-step anymore either. Freddy has a chance to graduate high school on time- he is almost 18-but the fact that he can’t get up is a big problem. He has his own car and a part-time job but he is still on his mother’s insurance and she holds the title to his car, which he is paying her back for helping to buy it. He works three days a week after school and he never misses work and he is never late. He drives to school. The mother has tried to tell him that if he doesn’t get up and get to school on time he will not be able to drive. He says Ok, and then if he can’t drive he won’t go to school at all. The mother feels desperate to see her son graduate so she backs off. Recently, however, she has been reading up on contracts with teenagers and she decides to put one together for Freddy. Freddy’s mother still randomly urine screens him a couple times a week and he is always clean. She has made it clear that if he uses he will have to go back into treatment and/or get out of the house. Neither is something Freddy wants to do. He knows that his mother is serious about the drugs but he believes that is all she really cares enough about to take action over. He doesn’t mind the drug tests. He doesn’t mind much except getting up for school otherwise he is pretty easy to get along with. Freddy and mom meet to do a contract. (Video below is Happy Fourth of July from Kathie & Lloyd)
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