Since we were talking about contracts with our teens during the PSST meeting, another one of our PSST families has offered their contract for posting. Their son is home from placement and was given this contract in preparation for coming home.
He had the opportunity to view it, comment, get angry, and tweak it before coming home. It helped make expectations very clear before he was home again. The rules are very detailed in this contract. Some teens need specifics, while others work better with simple. This teen's parents knew from his behavior that "simple" has too many loop holes for their teen. After reading and tweaking, the teen was not asked to sign it or even agree to it -- it was just the basis for new rules from newly empowered PSST parents. Consequences are not spelled out in the contract, but the fact that every contract violation would have a consequence similar to the violation was told to the teen. The contract is reviewed every few months to adjust the terms as needed. The teen can even request changes, but the parents are the only ones who can change the contract, so they must decide if the teen's changes have merit or not.
The parents report that their teen is now compliant since he is in recovery and respects the rules in the contract, even if he doesn't like it. And isn't this a good thing -- 'you don't have to like it, but as long as you can follow the family rules, you can earn trust back and gain more freedom.' Meanwhile, the parents get what they want -- more clean time and the learning of social normalcy for their son.
SAMPLE CONTRACT
This contract may be modified in writing at any time by agreement of the parents and Probation Officer.
COMMUNITY PROTECTION CONDITIONS:
1. Obey all laws.
2. Do not leave Allegheny County without the permission of the Probation Officer, except in the company of parents or with parents’ permission.
3. Advise the Probation Officer immediately of any change of address, including running away.
4. Do not touch, possess, or employ any firearms, weapons, or other instruments of crime.
5. Adhere to the following curfew: 24 hour home detention until further notice. Travel with parents only.
6. Do not have any contact or socialize with anyone known to use illegal substances or commit crime. (Socialize means going to the house of, talking with, hanging around, visiting, telephoning, or doing letters, email, IM, chat, Facebook, Myspace, or any other face-to-face or electronic contact.) This list includes but is not limited to:
1. Do not enter the borough limits of xxx, PA. Do not enter xxx Park.
2. Do not have any contact with victim, his friends, or his family.
3. Do not travel in or on any vehicle with non-relatives.
4. No sex with others.
ACCOUNTABILITY CONDITIONS:
7. Make contact with the Probation Officer daily including holidays and weekends via telephone. Report to the Probation Officer as directed. Probation Officer may visit at any time.
8. Notify the Probation Officer within forty-eight hours of being questioned or arrested by a law enforcement officer.
9. Do not buy, sell, exchange, support, seek, touch, possess, or consume alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or chemicals. (This also means no alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or chemicals are permitted on or in the body or near the house.)
10. Submit to random alcohol, tobacco, or drug urine, breath, or saliva testing by parents or Probation Officer.
11. Follow the discharge recommendations included in the Conditions of Supervision.
12. Submit to search by Probation Officer or parents if requested.
13. Get a part-time job or develop and submit to parents a business plan for working and earning money.
14. Develop a written post-placement Therapy and Recovery Plan by September 1, 2010. Plan must be approved by Probation Officer and parents.
15. Make sure that a parent approves of all activities and plans, and that parents know location at all times. There should be no unapproved or unaccounted time.
COMPETENCY CONDITIONS:
16. Maintain “C” or higher grades in all high school classes. Do assigned homework and verify by giving daily homework status to parents. Ask for academic help when needed. Maintain 100% attendance with no tardy days/classes and no skipping.
17. Attend at least one church service on a weekly basis at.
18. House telephone, cell phone, or other telephones are only to be used for recovery activities and family communication. Do not erase phone numbers or texts from phone memory. Do not accept restricted calls. Leave mobile phones on dining room table at night.
19. Develop a sports and physical activity plan by TBD. Participate in the activities on the plan. Amend activity plan as needed. (Include competition dog training and off-road vehicle riding, if appropriate, in the plan also.)
20. Provide care, feeding, exercise, and training for the dog. Training must be in Obedience, Rescue, Therapy Dog, or Schutzhund. Earn and maintain a novice owner/dog training certification by 8/31/2011.
21. Repair and continue learning about small engine vehicles.
22. Keep track of and attend all doctor appointments. Take care of all health needs.
23. Help with weekly house chores and home repair projects.
24. Keep personal property clean and in room. Do own laundry weekly.
25. Prepare the family dinner meal once per week in coordination with parents.
26. Do not have more than $10 cash at any time. Any cash or checks received are to be transferred to parents. Develop and balance a personal budget. There should be no unaccounted monies.
27. Study for and obtain a PA Driver’s Learner’s Permit by 12/31/2010. Practice driving with a parent or relative only.
28. Plan and attend a vacation with Dad. Parents must approve the plan and estimated budget.
He had the opportunity to view it, comment, get angry, and tweak it before coming home. It helped make expectations very clear before he was home again. The rules are very detailed in this contract. Some teens need specifics, while others work better with simple. This teen's parents knew from his behavior that "simple" has too many loop holes for their teen. After reading and tweaking, the teen was not asked to sign it or even agree to it -- it was just the basis for new rules from newly empowered PSST parents. Consequences are not spelled out in the contract, but the fact that every contract violation would have a consequence similar to the violation was told to the teen. The contract is reviewed every few months to adjust the terms as needed. The teen can even request changes, but the parents are the only ones who can change the contract, so they must decide if the teen's changes have merit or not.
The parents report that their teen is now compliant since he is in recovery and respects the rules in the contract, even if he doesn't like it. And isn't this a good thing -- 'you don't have to like it, but as long as you can follow the family rules, you can earn trust back and gain more freedom.' Meanwhile, the parents get what they want -- more clean time and the learning of social normalcy for their son.
SAMPLE CONTRACT
This contract may be modified in writing at any time by agreement of the parents and Probation Officer.
COMMUNITY PROTECTION CONDITIONS:
1. Obey all laws.
2. Do not leave Allegheny County without the permission of the Probation Officer, except in the company of parents or with parents’ permission.
3. Advise the Probation Officer immediately of any change of address, including running away.
4. Do not touch, possess, or employ any firearms, weapons, or other instruments of crime.
5. Adhere to the following curfew: 24 hour home detention until further notice. Travel with parents only.
6. Do not have any contact or socialize with anyone known to use illegal substances or commit crime. (Socialize means going to the house of, talking with, hanging around, visiting, telephoning, or doing letters, email, IM, chat, Facebook, Myspace, or any other face-to-face or electronic contact.) This list includes but is not limited to:
1. Do not enter the borough limits of xxx, PA. Do not enter xxx Park.
2. Do not have any contact with victim, his friends, or his family.
3. Do not travel in or on any vehicle with non-relatives.
4. No sex with others.
ACCOUNTABILITY CONDITIONS:
7. Make contact with the Probation Officer daily including holidays and weekends via telephone. Report to the Probation Officer as directed. Probation Officer may visit at any time.
8. Notify the Probation Officer within forty-eight hours of being questioned or arrested by a law enforcement officer.
9. Do not buy, sell, exchange, support, seek, touch, possess, or consume alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or chemicals. (This also means no alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or chemicals are permitted on or in the body or near the house.)
10. Submit to random alcohol, tobacco, or drug urine, breath, or saliva testing by parents or Probation Officer.
11. Follow the discharge recommendations included in the Conditions of Supervision.
12. Submit to search by Probation Officer or parents if requested.
13. Get a part-time job or develop and submit to parents a business plan for working and earning money.
14. Develop a written post-placement Therapy and Recovery Plan by September 1, 2010. Plan must be approved by Probation Officer and parents.
15. Make sure that a parent approves of all activities and plans, and that parents know location at all times. There should be no unapproved or unaccounted time.
COMPETENCY CONDITIONS:
16. Maintain “C” or higher grades in all high school classes. Do assigned homework and verify by giving daily homework status to parents. Ask for academic help when needed. Maintain 100% attendance with no tardy days/classes and no skipping.
17. Attend at least one church service on a weekly basis at
18. House telephone, cell phone, or other telephones are only to be used for recovery activities and family communication. Do not erase phone numbers or texts from phone memory. Do not accept restricted calls. Leave mobile phones on dining room table at night.
19. Develop a sports and physical activity plan by TBD. Participate in the activities on the plan. Amend activity plan as needed. (Include competition dog training and off-road vehicle riding, if appropriate, in the plan also.)
20. Provide care, feeding, exercise, and training for the dog. Training must be in Obedience, Rescue, Therapy Dog, or Schutzhund. Earn and maintain a novice owner/dog training certification by 8/31/2011.
21. Repair and continue learning about small engine vehicles.
22. Keep track of and attend all doctor appointments. Take care of all health needs.
23. Help with weekly house chores and home repair projects.
24. Keep personal property clean and in room. Do own laundry weekly.
25. Prepare the family dinner meal once per week in coordination with parents.
26. Do not have more than $10 cash at any time. Any cash or checks received are to be transferred to parents. Develop and balance a personal budget. There should be no unaccounted monies.
27. Study for and obtain a PA Driver’s Learner’s Permit by 12/31/2010. Practice driving with a parent or relative only.
28. Plan and attend a vacation with Dad. Parents must approve the plan and estimated budget.
4 comments:
Having this done before discharge was helpful. Some of the "losses" of the teenager can be grieved even before release and acceptance is so much easier with preparation. Great post.
Tonight, I did a Google search for "parent contract + teen moving back home" and found this web site. What a God-send!! During the last 6 1/2 weeks, while one of our 18 year old sons has been living at different friend's houses (we told him to leave because of drug use and violence against family members). We decided in the first week, that for him to come home he would (1) have to get (and then maintain) a clean random drug screen AND (2) get into either drug counselling or a 12-step program.
For the first 6 weeks the focus was on HIS anger and OUR incompetence as parents (his view).
We held our ground...and equipped ourself for the days ahead. We read 3 critical books these last few weeks; Addictive Thinking, The Addictive Personality and How to Deal with your Acting Up Teenager. They have all been very helpful.
This web site builds on what we have learned in those books and is great because it is written in real-time by parents who have ALREADY gone through what we are going through now!
We are up in Western Canada...so a little far to meet face-to-face...but I want you to know your impact reaches across the continent and up into the Great White North.
Great post, very informative and helpful for me. Thank you for providing this..
Thanks for the wonderful post. I really appreciate your hard work. Thanks for sharing with us.
sample contracts
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