Searching For Cisco -- Again Posted by:Rocco--Thursday, December 02, 2010

Searching For Cisco -- Again

Sally and I are the parents of Cisco, a teenage addict. We have attended PSST Meetings for about 18 months. After six months of Cisco's placement in an inpatient recovery program and a halfway house Sally and I stood up in court and asked for an extension of Cisco’s juvenile probation. This turned out to be crucial because…

…our son, Cisco, relapsed in August and he just walked away from his inpatient facility, again, in December.

In August his Allegheny County Juvenile Probation Officer (The P.O.) and his Wesley Spectrum counselor (The Counselor) worked with us to have Cisco placed in an adult recovery facility about 200 miles away. After 4 days Cisco walked away. To read about this click on “Rocco and Sally Take a Road Trip”

Once again The P.O. and The Counselor worked with us closely. Cisco was placed in a local Adult Behavior Modification Facility. Cisco did well until mid-October when, acting impulsively, he walked out again. To read about this click on “Finding Cisco”

Cisco returned voluntarily and settled back into his program. Sally and I got to spend a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend at the beach refocusing on us.

On Sunday, the last day of our trip Sally called our older son, Frodo, to ask if he was going to visit Cisco. Frodo said that he and Fiona would like to visit but that Cisco had not called to invite him. This set off alarm bells and whistles for Sally.

Sally phoned The Facility and asked if Cisco was doing okay and if he forgot about calling his brother. They said he was doing fine and that they would find out what was going on. A few minutes later Cisco got on the phone and said that he had lost Frodo’s number. I gave him the number and Sally asked to talk to him. Cisco told Sally that things were okay but he didn’t feel the program was doing him any good. He said that he had the urge to walk out of his program a second time.

I felt that this was simply a manipulative teenage tirade by Cisco because he was angry at Sally and me for “ignoring” him.

Our adolescents who have addictive behavior thrive on being the center of attention. They have a need to command “the power” to dominate the family environment. The easiest way to do this, of course, is by acting out, aggravating us, taunting us, threatening us and, in general, causing chaos.

Sally had a bad feeling about it. She texted Cisco’s P.O. and our family counselor.

The rest of our day went pretty well. While we were delayed at the airport we had calls from The P.O. and from Frodo that Cisco was feeling better about things. It helped that The P.O. reminded Cisco that if he walked away from The Facility that he would be found and he would have yet another hearing with the same hearing officer.

Fast forward to Wednesday; we received a call from The P.O. This one did not start with the usual reassuring “Everything is okay, there is no problem…” It was a call to let us know that Cisco had walked away again.

Sally felt very concerned about Cisco’s state of mind and his safety, especially with the cold weather.

I felt anywhere from “Good, I hope he freezes” to “What does he really need” to “Here we go again” to “I hope he doesn’t do something stupid(er)".

I agreed to meet The P.O. where we ended our search for Cisco the last time, at the ex-girlfriend Chrissie’s enabling grandma’s house. While I was waiting for the P.O. to arrive Sally called. She had been contacted by someone who said they talked with Cisco around 6:30. So we knew at least that he was back in the township.

The P.O. and I decided, since we were already in the neighborhood, to visit with the Enabling Grandma (E-Gran); if for no other reason than to discourage her from allowing Cisco to hide out in her house again.

This time E-Gran was extremely cooperative. She allowed us to check out the bedroom without hesitation. She was not concerned about her dog, her cat or her granddaughter’s messy bedroom so we felt certain that she had not seen Cisco. This is the place that Cisco admitted he had stayed the last time that he had walked away. We did not find any trace of him this time.

We decided to move on to Janet’s house. This was a favorite place of Cisco’s where he used to chill (and we suspect a favorite place to use). Janet answered the door and was pretty convincing that she had not heard from Cisco. The P.O. got her cell phone number and Janet also gave us the number to the house phone. We thanked her and left.

So, where to go next?

The P.O. had been pretty convincing the last time we were searching homes for Cisco. We were fairly certain that text messages were blazing around the township again warning that if Cisco was at your place he had to leave. The police were coming to search the house. The last thing that Cisco’s alleged “friends” want is the police turning over their bedrooms and basements.

We decided to try Bambi’s house next. If Cisco wanted to get high this is where he would eventually head for. This is the house where Cisco and Chrissie visited to use the last time he was out. We just missed finding him there then. When we got there all of the lights were out. It was getting late and I know that Cisco would not stay there after Bambi’s step-dad got home. The P.O. did not have a warrant this time so we decided to move on.

We were on our way to the gas station where Cisco’s friend worked when I decided to give Sally a call and see if she had any ideas. She said that she had a strong feeling that Cisco was at his other ex-girlfriend Angelica’s house. She felt so strongly that she said she would start walking there. I did not think he would be there but I have found Sally’s intuition to be a lot better than mine. So the P.O. and I took a detour to Angelica’s.

Her parents welcomed us in and assured us that Cisco had not been there. Angelica came in and said “Man, it is so weird that you guys showed up here. I just got off of the phone with Cisco.”

We asked her if she knew where he called from? She said that she didn't know where he was but she gave Sally the number. Sally called and talked to someone who said that Cisco was not there. She explained that she knew that he just called from this number but he continued to play dumb. When she asked him where he lived he hung up.

Angelica called back and told him to “Cut the crap” and put Cisco on the phone. This time he said that Cisco “uh, just left” and he didn’t know where he was going. He talked in circles for a few minutes and hung up again. A few minutes later Angelica received a call from another number.

It was Cisco.

Angelica told him that we were there with The P.O. to take him back to The Facility. He asked if we were sure that The Facility would allow him to come back. The P.O. asked for the phone and reassured Cisco that The Counselor had spoke with The Facility and they would allow him to return. He told him that if he would meet with us that he would do whatever he could to get him into the proper placement. Cisco agreed to meet us.

We thanked Angelica and her parents and went to pick up Cisco.

He met us and he admitted that it was really dumb of him to run again but he felt that the program was not helping him. He said he wanted to be in a program that had more recovery activities, more physical activities and more job training. The P.O. called The Counselor and we had a conference call in the Shop ‘n Save parking lot concerning what would be best for Cisco. The Counselor wanted to know what would stop Cisco from running away again. The P.O. agreed and told Cisco that we may just be setting him up to fail if he went back to The Facility.

The P.O. explained to Cisco that it was a good thing that he came back voluntarily again but that he would still need to attend a hearing to determine where he would go. He gave him the choice of going back to The Facility or spending the night at the Shuman Detention Center. After talking it over Cisco agreed that he would go to Shuman and the hearing the first thing in the morning.

So now, here we are; still feeling our way down this very strange, seldom straight, sometimes smooth, and often scary path of recovery.

We continue to thank The P.O. and The Counselor for their amazing efforts to help our family. We thank all of our PSST family for their support.

For now we know where Cisco is and that he is safe, warm and clean.

We know that he has 15 or 16 months clean time over the past year and half.

We know that Cisco is trying hard but that his addiction is fighting back whenever it finds the chance.

We know that we are much better than we were last year at this time, never the less, we need to continue as a family to recover.

We know that we will see you all at the next PSST Meeting.

Thank you all for being there.

P.S. Since Sally attended the hearing I will let her tell you about that.