Destructive Teens - Article submitted by Brigette Posted by:Sally--Sunday, March 11, 2012

Destructive Teens

Below is a helpful article from the Empowering Parents website. It's a topic many of us (unfortunately) can relate to. I've only included the first paragraph for copyright reasons, but you can follow the link to their website to read the entire article.

Is Your Defiant Child Damaging or Destroying Property?
by Kim Abraham LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner LMSW

Kicking holes in the wall. Breaking and throwing things. Smashing in the windshield on your car. Most of us never expect to face these behaviors from our children, and certainly not when our child is “old enough to know better.”

If you have a child who purposely destroys family property out of anger or spiteful, vengeful reasons, you naturally feel a variety of hurtful and negative emotions. It feels like a punch in the stomach.

First comes shock—how can my child be doing this to me?

Anger, resentment and guilt follow: What did I do wrong for my child to end up like this? If you’re like other parents in this situation, you probably also take an aching heart to bed with you every night.

The fact is, your child is having a problem coping with strong emotions. This is their “cope of choice” right now, which is self-destructive in the long run.

So why do they cope by damaging things when they’re angry or upset, and what can we do to teach our child healthy boundaries and limits?

How can we motivate a child in this situation to develop healthier, more mature coping skills? Kim Abraham, MSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner, MSW, creators of the ODD Lifeline, explain how.

Click HERE to go to Empowering Parents Link

Brigitte