Summary - PSST Meeting Saturday August 7, 2010 Posted by:Rocco--Monday, August 09, 2010

It was a perfectly beautiful August morning outside on Saturday. Inside the Eastern Probation Office in Wilkinsburg there was a lot of action taking place at the PSST Meeting where parents were recovering and healing from the distress and difficulties caused by their teen’s addictions.

The meeting was lead by Intensive Aftercare Probation Officer - Lloyd W. and Family Therapist - Kathie T. from Wesley Spectrum Services. Speaking for all of the parents who attend these meetings we would like to sincerely thank Val, Lloyd, Kathie and Cathy for giving up their Saturday mornings each month to support and coach us, with their wisdom, understanding and some much appreciated humor.

The meeting was well attended by nine parents, who will remain anonymous: alias' Max and Mel, Candy, Daisy, Lily, Rocco and Sally and two new parents who we will call Rose and Violet.

As usual each of us had an opportunity to talk over our own circumstances and issues. We discussed how parents can continue to take back, and keep, the power over teens that are currently in inpatient treatment facilities, teens that are at home and teens that want to come home.

As noted in Lloyd’s previous post (Court Room Role-Play Drama) we did a role play concerning Candy’s daughter Torrie.

Torrie has a court appearance this week. She has relapsed and has been progressing in her drug addiction since May, so this appearance serves as an important window of opportunity for her parents to intervene and save their daughter’s life.

We set up our “Virtual Courtroom” with Judge Kathy, D.A. Lloyd, Public Defender Mel, P.O. Max, Parents Sally and Rocco, and Candy as her daughter Torrie. We went over the various procedures and situations that they may face in the court room, what to expect and how to address their concerns for their daughter.

One very important side note that Lloyd emphasized was that IF you as a parent feel that you are being passed over during the hearing that you should politely raise your hand, give it a slight wave to gain attention, and make sure that the Judge allows you to speak. This is typically not required since most of the time the Judge will regard the parent’s input as essential.

Lloyd indicated that the hand raising technique should probably only occur one time, if needed. You are not supposed to annoy the court by raising your hand over and over, bounce in your seat or repeat “Ooh-ooh!” to get the Judge’s attention.

On the serious side there are times that in order to get your child the treatment they need; you will have to stand up in court and argue to get them into inpatient treatment or on probation. You will have to do this against your child’s wishes and the PD’s arguments and sometimes against the Judge’s/Hearing Officer’s intentions. Sally and I have done this and we will tell you it was not easy but we both knew that it was absolutely necessary.

We still had some time after our coffee break to go around the room for final comments and concerns. This led to another short role play concerning a teen that is currently in an inpatient facility. On his last home pass visit he broke the rules and now his mom is not comfortable with him coming home for good. He however is intent on coming straight home and will not consider any alternatives. His mom was wondering how she can make her plans clear to him and take back the power.

The emphasis of the role play was to make it crystal clear to the teen that he was not going to come directly home. He must choose to go to a halfway house or ¾ House prior to coming home.

The first PSST key in the role play was for the parent let their teen know “I am going to tell you something that will probably disappoint you. So you have my permission to get up and leave when you get upset.” This tends to persuade your usually oppositional defiant teen stay put.

The next PSST key in the role play was for the parent to use “I am not comfortable with that”. Practice this phrase to use whenever your teen tells you how things should be or what their plan is. No other reason or explanation is required by a parent. The teen cannot argue with how comfortable you are. Repeat as necessary.

The final PSST Key is to find something in what your teen is saying to AGREE with. Follow this with “never the less” or “regardless”.

If they tell you “It really stinks that I am in here!” AGREE with them. “Yes honey, it really does stink. It really stinks that you got into this mess “never the less” we will work together to do what is best for you.”

Even if they challenge you with “You don’t care about me, you wish I would die!” You can AGREE with them. “You know you really make a good point Honey. We are really afraid that if you keep doing what you are doing you will die. We know that you don't understand why we are keeping you in treatment but "never-the-less" we will do everything we can to keep you alive.”

Thanks to all who attended this meeting especially our two new parents. If you looked around the room I am sure you saw a lot of us nodding in agreement and understanding of where you are coming from. We are always looking for more parents to join us so we can offer them some help and some hope.

"By helping others succeed, we help ourselves succeed. Whatever good we give will complete the circle and will come back to us."

Our goal at PSST is to empower the PARENTS of teenage substance abusers and/or Juvenile Court Youth with the support, information, skills and techniques a parent needs to help their teenager to save their life.

Our thanks to the Allegheny County Eastern Probation Office for the use of their space.

The next Parent Survival Skills Training (PSST) meeting is Saturday August 14 from 9:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. at the Trinity Lutheran Church 2500 Brandt School Road, Wexford, PA 15090


C'mon in and join us.
Our PSST meetings are open to all parents who are serious about making a difference in their children’s life.