Quote of the Week

"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way" ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Bam Bam is still Flexing his Muscles ~ by Wilma
Posted by:Jenn--Sunday, October 23, 2011

Bam Bam is still Flexing his Muscles

25 days in the DAS (Diversion and Acute Stabilization) program, and what is Bam Bam up to?

Well, in his first two weeks he “fell” on his already fractured hand and had to go to the ER and orthopedic surgeon where his re-fractured hand was wrapped up. THE NIGHT he went to the orthopedic doctor he was mad because his dad wouldn’t pick him up if he signed himself out so he punched a wall with the FRACTURED HAND. He called home begging Fred or me to go up there to take him to the ER.

We were told it was not an emergency and refused to be manipulated into picking him up.

I think this demand came from the day before the trip to the orthopedic doctor, when Fred drove up to Quarry Rock and picked Bam up to take him to the ER at our local hospital to check him out for chest pain. It was determined that there was no physical problem but that Bam Bam was suffering from anxiety.

The ER doc gave him a Xanax. Neither Bam nor Fred informed the doc that Bam Bam was a recovering addict.

After the hospital visit, Fred took Bam Bam home to change clothes, spray on some body spray and then stopped for some fast food on the way back to Quarry Rock. No wonder he wants Fred to take him to the hospital ER!

Since he punched a wall with his fractured hand, he again was taken to the ER by Quarry Rock staff and another appointment made for the orthopedic doc. This time the hand was casted. However, Bam Bam decided he didn’t need a cast so two days later he took it off himself.

We had a family meeting this past Thursday and we discussed Bam’s aftercare plans as Quarry Rock was planning on discharging him next Tuesday. At first the meeting was going o.k.

Then Bam decides he’s going to manipulate the meeting.

He tells us he’s not going back to school (he already had agreed to go back to his home school) and wants to go back to cyber school (he likes how cyber school with a teacher works in placement) which he’d already failed at earlier in the year and we had said NO CYBER SCHOOL, started making demands about his phone and friends, said he wouldn’t go back to his psychiatrist.

We all just stared at him – WHAT IS GOING ON? He is less than a week from discharge!!

The therapist told him she wasn’t taking sides, but that we as parents are not being unreasonable to have him earn his phone back, ease into friends, and that he had already agreed to return to his psychiatrist.

For those who don’t know, Bam was on the outs with his psychiatrist when she called him out on drug seeking behavior. He didn’t want to go back. However, I could not find another adolescent psychiatrist participating with our insurance that would take a dual diagnosis patient that had not been clean for longer than 16 months.

By the end of the meeting Bam was back on board with all the after care plans, which by the way he was involved in making. After the meeting he and Fred fished in the pond on the grounds even though it was drizzling and freezing.

At this point I felt o.k. with bringing him home on Tuesday. HOWEVER, that evening he called twice. Even after the first call I thought we still have a plan. After the 2nd phone call I felt as if we were at SQUARE ONE again.

Bam Bam told me he wasn’t going back to school, he wanted to do cyber-school as the teacher at Quarry Rock told him he was doing a good job there. Bam said after all he doesn’t have an x-box or i-pod to distract him, and of course he would have probation (by the way, he has charges now). I tried to explain to him that Miss Meg from Quarry Rock wasn’t moving in to monitor his school work and that his P.O. wouldn’t be sitting with him all day to make sure he does his school work.

All I could envision is that Bam comes home Tuesday, Wednesday he refuses to go to school. This is exactly the type of situation that brings cops to our house!

I called the case manager and therapist the next day and told them unless Bam Bam has the school piece of his discharge in place (even if it is an alternative school but not cyber school at home) we would not pick him up.

Of course we were informed that then CYF would be involved and I said I knew that and I’d go through with it. If Bam Bam wants to make his own rules and not follow rules at home, he doesn’t have to come home. His discharge was moved back to Thursday. He and the therapist have more work to do and then we all get back together on Tuesday.

Fred and I decided not to go up on Saturday and take Bam out for a meal as it felt like we would be rewarding him for all of the upheaval. Needless to say Bam Bam was not happy. He called his aunt who went up for a visit and took him fishing at the pond. I was actually glad that he reached out to her. He has not wanted to be around family for a long time. Except his cousin, Cool J, who was arrested for possession a couple of months ago.

Bam called us later Saturday evening about coming up on Sunday, but we told him we couldn’t. He told Fred then he wouldn’t go back to school if we didn’t come up! He called later to tell me his he broke his closet door frame at Quarry Rock because he was mad.

And he is supposed to come home this Thursday!

So, it is Sunday night and I am wondering what is going to happen tomorrow??

I just want to say that posting our story on the blog is cathartic and helps me by talking about it. I also hope it might help someone else out there going through a similar situation.


Wilma said...


Love the Bam Bam graphic!

Great job editing the blog!!

Jenn said...


That graphic should show YOU holding up the enormous weights, because you are doing some heavy lifting!! Some of the statements that you made in this posting - especially the ones that are highlighted in brown - really show how strong you continue to be.

Thanks for sharing - oh, how we can all relate to your stories. Keep the faith . . . and keep flexing those Wilma muscles!


Anonymous said...

Wow! Wilma, you must be exhausted. You and Fred are doing a great job of letting Bam know exactly where you draw the line. Good luck this week. Keep us posted. We are all here for you.

Wilma said...

Brigitte and Jenn,
Thank you for your kind words and support!

Bam Bam is coming home tomorrow despite his changing medications every week and physical aggression (to himself, walls and doors). However, his therapist did say his good points are that he is pleasant, respectful to staff and residents and is a nice kid. and he really can be sweet and kind even though his latest pictures (His Aunt went to visit and fish with him at Quarry Rock) show his storm cloud look though he did catch a fish!!! Maybe we'll get a smile out of him someday.
We are hoping for the best of course. I feel like this is
deja' vu-bam will have a d & A eval, MST therapy in the home AGAIN and is supposed to start back to his home school on Friday.

Sooo.....we will see.



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