[Ed has volunteered for a local agency for 20 plus years. He shows up on Family Night to help teenagers and their families figure things out. Ed is a natural teacher and I have learned a lot from him. He will tell you that his disease is Co-dependency and the reason that he shows up every week is because that's what he needs to do to fight his disease. His weekly volunteer work is his "meeting." Here is part 1 of Ed's story.]
Hello! My name is Ed, and I am an addict.
You see, my disease of addiction is not what most people would normally think of when they think of addiction. My addiction is the disease of Co-dependency.
Oh, I know, you say, “That is different—not an addiction at all.” Well, bear with me for a few minutes, and let’s see if I can change your mind, or perhaps, my mind will be changed. Let’s just briefly explore it together.
I have two sons, ages 40 and 35. The younger of the two is a long-time confessed and proven addict since early in his teenage years—addicted to alcohol and drugs, and, as with all addicts, Cross-Addicted to all mind and mood altering substances.
Of course, as any parent, I love both of my sons deeply and equally, and would never purposely do anything to harm either of them or to jeopardize their long-term happiness. However, I have done those very things over and over again, especially with regard to the younger. How so? Let’s see.
My disease, Co-dependency, manifests itself in a number of ways, nearly all of which can be termed as Enabling Behavior. That is, from time to time, I do things, especially with regard to my younger son, the addict, that jeopardize his long-term happiness and well-being, things like giving him “a little cash” or a ride somewhere he needs to go. You see, he doesn’t have a vehicle, and probably has not legally earned enough in his lifetime to purchase one, much less insure and maintain it.
So, I just help him out a little, from time to time. What’s wrong with that? After all, he is my son. Wouldn’t I do the same for my eldest son? And, indeed, I do.
In addition, as any parent, I still occasionally overlook little faults in the behavior of my sons. What’s the harm? Everyone makes a mistake from time to time. Although, it does seem that the younger makes those little mistakes more often than the older. And, I guess that maybe his mistakes do tend to be of a more outstanding nature. After all, he is five years younger than his brother. Don’t all of our mistakes seem to become less frequent and less severe as we age? I know mine have.
In reality, the last few paragraphs above classically illustrate active and passive enabling, either or both in combination of which have the potential to send the addict that you love to an early death. I still at times make the mistake of doing one or the other. And afterward, I always feel remorseful. Then why do I do it?
The root of the answer lies far back in the past. Indeed, it probably begins in all of us the moment a baby is born, possibly before their birth or even their conception. There is that overwhelming desire within all of us to make our child’s life better than ours was—to spare them the suffering that we endured—to give them more than we had.
And so, we begin to instill in ourselves that enabling behavior right from the beginning. And, the babies? They love it! They get used to it! And, within a very short time, they demand it.
Ever not picked up a crying baby, after having done so on every crying occasion for a period of time? There is hell to pay! And to force yourself not to respond as you know they expect is gut-wrenching. So, we end up picking them up, even when we realize that it will further spoil them, and the beat goes on.
Fast forward thirteen or fourteen years—bingo, adolescence! The problem has magnified both in expectation and complexity. We are now full blown, well trained enablers; and our children have now begun to experiment with and/or abuse controlled substances; that, mixed with their hormonal mish-mash, presents some daunting problems for both the teen and the Enabling Parent.
I will not attempt to explain here the process of how to curtail our destructive enabling parental behaviors. Just know that it requires discipline and conscious effort on a day-to-day, sometimes moment-to-moment basis.
And, the disease, the addiction to Co-dependency and the subsequent enabling behaviors that naturally follow, is always there, looking for and waiting for a moment of weakness.
I am not cured. I know that I will never be cured if this addiction. However, thankfully, I am in recovery. I do relapse from time-to-time. But, the relapses now are much shorter and much less severe than they used to be. You see, I have a program, a plan if you will—the salvation of any addicted person.
Check in here next week to hear about that.
HELLO! MY NAME IS ED: THE DISEASE OF CO-DEPENDENCY (PART 1 OF 2)
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Sunday, April 18, 2010
Summary of 4-17-10 Mt Lebanon meeting.
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Saturday, April 17, 2010
Afterwards, we had time for a quick round-the-table introductions from each parent and then some final wrap-up comments. We will address role-plays next time. Please let us know which scenarios would be helpful.
We missed both Sally and Rocco. We wish them well and look forward to having them back with us next meeting. We will start off the month of May by having our PSST at Eastern Dist Probation Office on the 1st. Please refer to calandar on right side of blog and locations connecting to Google Maps on the left margin. Happy parenting till we meet again.
We addressed themes such as calling your teens friend's parents to check in and share notes, getting a probation officer to help you with your teen's defiance, staying clam in the face of a tantrum.
The Adolescent Brain
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Friday, April 16, 2010
I was at an training for a day and a half where the Adolescent Brain under the effects of drug abuse was examined. The trainer, Michael Nerney, really knew this subject backwards and forwards. He was also really funny and I think the humor got some good brain chemistry going for the training participants, making learning more likely. It reminded me of the funny things that come up at PSST. We know the subject isn't funny, but gee, sometimes you just have to have to have a bit of a laugh.
I would like to share a couple of things we covered. One, Adolescent Brains are under such rapid growth that indeed they are in many ways not like adult brains. Once we understand this, we can understand some of these mysterious behaviors such as risk-taking. Teen brains are "wired" for risk taking; therefore, if they don't have opportunities for legitimate risk-taking opportunities, they are more drawn to illegal risk taking. Also, their developing brains are not as able to assess the danger associated with the risks. That will come later, once they have an adult brain. Therefore, it is important that adults help teenagers enter into legitimate risk taking, such as sports or other competitions.
Two, we are right to try to buy as much clean-time for our teenagers via our various PSST strategies because the earlier and the deeper that our teens travel into drug abuse the more likely that they will have substance abuse and other problems for the rest of their lives. Yes, the good news is that brains can often heal after damage- but the bad news is that it takes quite a while for brains to heal and the damage can be very serious. Further, teens remain at a high risk for relapse while their brains are healing and that healing could take years. For example, "The hippocampus encodes new information into memory. Adolescents with a history of alcohol use disorder have a smaller hippocampus volume (on average, by about 10 percent.)"
This FRONTLINE video covers some of what we learned although it is not a video that was featured at our training. Note that it has Chapter links and you are free to skip ahead. 
As I mentioned, the training in which I participated was excellent.
"The Adolescent Brain and Chemical Dependency
Recent research indicates that the time frame from 14 year to 24 years of age is
exceptionally risky. New insights into brain development, gained through the use
of new technology, demonstrate specific conditions that exist in the brain only
during adolescence. Linking this research to the stages of adolescent development
has generated better understanding of the way in which adolescents perceive the
world, themselves, and their behaviors.
The Center is pleased to announce that Michael Nerney, Executive Director of
Michael Nerney and Associates, will return to facilitate this workshop that he
last presented at a Center sponsored event in the spring of 2005 where he earned
a 6.4 evaluation score on our 7-point scale. Michael Nerney is a consultant in
Substance Abuse Prevention and Education, with over thirty years’ experience in
the field. He is an internationally known lecturer, and has served as consultant to
a number of federal and state agencies, including the federal Office of Substance
Abuse Prevention and the Bureau of Justice Assistance; the New York State
Education Department, Department of Social Services, Division for Youth,
Department of Correctional Services, Division of Probation and Correctional
Alternatives, Division of Parole, Division of Criminal Justice Services, Capital
Defender’s Office and Governor’s Office of Employee Relations. Mr. Nerney has
provided consultation on drug courts and other areas of technical assistance to
correctional systems across the country, including the states of California, Texas,
Alabama, Delaware, New Mexico, Connecticut, North Carolina, and Oregon. He
has been a consultant for two of the major television networks and has appeared
on the ABC program 20/20. He is the father of four children."
A Mom's Insight into Missing Memories - Part 4 - The Road to Recovery Can Be Brutal
Posted by:Rocco--Friday, April 16, 2010
PART 4
Losing a Teenager and Gaining an Adult - by Lori
"...There have been many times when I did not understand the actions of my son’s counselors when he was in placement. I felt the need to intervene. Surely these people don't know what they are doing! However, I always stopped myself and asked the question, “Whatever I did, did it ever work?” Regardless of how much I want to believe that I really did know what was best for my son, the answer to this question was always a resonating, “No!”
To continue with Lori's story, use the link below or click on the title of this post above:
Losing a Teenager and Gaining an Adult - Part 4 of 6 - by Lori
Each week I will post the next entry or you can link to them through the PSST blog.
Thank you Lori - This helps us understand and cope. We are just now going through this realization ourselves at this time.
Rocco
PSST IS LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MEN
Posted by:Rocco--Tuesday, April 13, 2010
PSST IS LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MEN
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will open the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. I will jiggle some wires, check the fluids, tighten some screws and possibly replace a filter but…
“Because I am a man I will not admit that I can't fix it!”
Because I am a man, when I purchase an appliance, piece of furniture or some other gadget I will not pay one dime more for it to be assembled. I will take it home and scatter the pieces, force and bend the parts, enlarge the holes, question the intelligence of the designer, cuss at the infernal thing but…
“Because I am a man I will not read the instructions!”
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together but…
“Because I am a man asking for assistance is out of the question!”
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after either hypothermia or heat stroke has set in but…
“Because I am a man calling the AAA for help is not an option!”
About a year ago I, a man, had to admit that we were totally lost. We were in need, big time, for some directions on how to plot a new course for this whole teenage recovery thing. We've been regularly attending the PSST meetings since then. We've acquired some new skills, taken back control of our lives and we have our son on his way to recovery.
We have been able to accomplish this on account of the support and encouragement of a lot of caring concerned professionals and fellow parents.
One thing that we have noticed is that the parent that is usually attending the meeting is the Mom, and that is okay. Nevertheless if we could get both Mom and Dad involved with the meetings a lot more perspective could be added to the group. This would be the case for Single Dads also.
In addition to the case of Single Moms we know that there are other reasons for the Dads not making it in; work, appointments, younger sisters and brothers to care for and, as in our very own experience, not wanting to leave our son and our home unprotected.
Hopefully this shortage of Dads is not a stubborn thing, a “lack of trust” thing, a pride thing, a childish thing or a macho thing.
If you can make it, we would like to have a few more good men attending our PSST Meetings on Saturday morning from 9:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.
You are cordially invited to sit in, discuss, contribute, consider some ideas, ask questions, express your point of view and help develop some innovative solutions.
So let's go guys! C'mon in and join us.
If you're struggling with teenage drug abuse and you want some advice on a new approach, we can help you "find a new way to get there."
Our meetings are open to all parents, including Dads, who are serious about making a difference in their children’s life. There is no charge or commitment.
Maybe you can even (shudder at the thought) pick up some new directions.
April 10 PSST Meeting in Wexford
Posted by:Rocco--Sunday, April 11, 2010
It was a beautiful spring day at the Trinity Lutheran Church in Wexford Saturday. Outside there was a lot of work going on restoring and fixing up the landscaping from a rough winter. Inside there was a lot of work going on at the PSST meeting restoring and healing parents from the distress and difficulties caused by addiction.We all would like to sincerely thank Trinity Lutheran Church for the use of their first class facilities to allow PSST to empower parents of out-of-control teenagers. This is a great example of how they have been reaching out and serving Wexford and the northern suburbs since 1845.
Val, Kathy and Lloyd were there as well as 6 parents. We were glad to have one supportive alumna checking in, a clued-in parent returning for a second round and a concerned first time parent. I remember being a bit overwhelmed at our first visit but I am very thankful that we came back.
We did some role plays:
- A teen wanting his parents to commit to a promise that he would be out of his program in no more than 90 days.
- A mom setting up a plan with her and the P.O. to reel in her out of control teen.
- A mom explaining her plan (accompanied by the P.O.) to her out of control teen.
We talked over not being distressed when we need to be the “Bad Guy” AGAIN. In fact, we want to be the “Bad Guy” because it gives us, the parent, the power. Or to provide a better connotation we like to say that it lets your teen know that there is a “New Sheriff in Town” and lets them know that we are taking back the control.
We went over the cell phone thing.
- “I want to know where my child is” VS “They lie. You don’t really know anyway.”
- “I check their call history and text messages” VS “They know. They erase what they don’t want you to see.”
- “They will need to reach me in an emergency!” VS “They know how to reach you anytime they 'need' anything. All of the kids they are with have phones.”
We noted that the phones are not cheap, that taking the phone away is a good consequence and that the phone essentially becomes just another piece of drug paraphernalia. To act quickly and save money you can call the phone service provider and have their service suspended.
Remember you as parents have the right to confiscate stuff from your minor child. When you take things away from your teen (i.e. cell phones, X-Box, computers, drug paraphernalia and drugs) lock it up. Better yet take it out of the house all together – to someone’s house that you can trust or, if necessary, to the police. I had a special file drawer in my office for my son’s “stuff” (I bagged and tagged it and alerted my Admin Assistant in case someone else found it).
DO NOT destroy or dispose of your teen’s drugs or drug paraphernalia. You are not PROTECTING them, you are ENABLING them.
Val and Lloyd explained that you can have charges on file without immediately setting a hearing date with this evidence. You can then use these charges and the possible hearing as a major consequence for your teen if they refuse treatment.
PLEASE NOTE: They also clarified for us parents with a child that is about to turn 18 that these charges will remain Juvenile Charges for 6 months.
Then, as strange as it sounds at first, we were coached as parents to AGREE WITH YOUR TEEN. Find some little thing in your discussion to agree with them. This will totally throw them off track and allow you to take back control of the conversation.
Teen: “This program is totally bullsh-t, you and that P.O. just want to keep me locked away!”
Mom (leaning forward for emphasis): “You’re right honey (Pause for the 'Huh?' effect). Nevertheless I will keep you locked away as long as it takes to make sure that you are safe and stay clean.”
Remember our two favorite words NEVERTHELESS and REGARDLESS. Try to get BUT totally out of your vocabulary. Or as one of my favorite people loves to always remind me “Everything you say after the word BUT is BS.”
Once again, I think we all would like to sincerely thank Trinity Lutheran Church for the use of their first class facilities to allow PSST to empower parents of out-of-control teenagers. This is a great example of how they have been reaching out and serving Wexford and the northern suburbs since 1845.We look forward to seeing a lot of you at our meeting next Saturday, April 17 at the PSST meeting at the Outreach Teen and Family Services located in Mt. Lebanon at 666 Washington Road (free parking in the back lot).
Guest speaker Jim Musiol of 1 Step Detect Associates (DTx) will explain drug testing, what our teens use to disguise results and get negative readings on their drug test and parental awareness of 4-20 Day. You may purchase drug tests from Jim. These are accurate drug tests used by many agencies.
Parents that attend PSST meetings receive a very reasonable price of:
$1.00 per drug test and $3.00 per 3-stick drug test – Alcohol Test will also be available.
Remember there is still Hope at PSST.
Are we as oppositional as our teenagers seem to be?
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sometimes I think we adults are pretty oppositional. We can't seem to allow that our teenagers might be right about anything, at least not at the point where we are feeling defensive. However, one of the keys to setting up a good working relationship with your teenager is to agree with him often. Even when you really don't agree with the meat of what he is saying, you can always agree with the potatoes or the greens.
Why is it important to agree with each other? Agreements are the thread that ties us together. It is not our disagreements that bond, it is our agreements. Without that bonding, the disagreements could tear us apart.
In addition, your teen expects an argument. When he finds instead that you agree with something, with anything that he says, he is disarmed. Think of it as priming the pump, setting the table, or oiling the squeeky door. Think of it anyway that you like, but think of it often and use it!
Another way to look at it: Is the glass half full or glass half empty? We disagree with something that our teenager said, e.g., "I don't think I can make it back by curfew tonight Mom!" Immediately, we disagree and we want to argue that "you better get back by curfew tonight or else you're not going and if you go and don't get back in time, then you're grounded buddy!"
Ironically, we might have also been concerned that he would not have made it back on time. If he has had trouble making it back on time recently, then that alone could have made it easy to agree that this might be a problem; however, we choose to argue. If that is the half empty glass where is the half full one?
Son: I don't think I can make it back by curfew tonight Mom.
Mom: I was thinking the same thing. [this is "joining phrase" that implies agreement. We are agreeing that we are thinking the same thing.]
Son: You were?
Mom: Well, you have trouble with the curfew recently, you don't agree with the curfew, and tonight your plans sound a bit complicated.
Son: Yeah, and you know, I don't feel like getting grounded when it's not really my fault- and I'm being honest about it, you know?
Mom: I just think it's good that you are thinking ahead.
Son: Right. You aren't going to give me a later curfew even though I'm being honest. You just don't care. You got that brainwashing thing going on where you went to a few classes and now you think you know everything. What I think doesn't matter to you anymore.
Mom: I'm glad you brought this up. [A standard good thing to say- we can always agree that it was a good thing to bring up.]
Mom: But I agree with you that I'm not going to give you a later curfew. I mean, you know me very well, and I guess you can predict pretty easy what I am and what I'm not going to do. You're smart like that or else I'm just easy to figure out.
Son: What are you talking about I agree with you? We don't agree on this at all!
Mom: That's true- we disagree about the curfew. But we agree that with what all your trying to do tonight you won't make it back on time.
Son: Right.
Mom: Yes, I think that shows maturity on your part, you know, to even bring it up.
Son: So, you don't care if I stay out later?
Mom: Oh yes, I care- I'm just still glad that you brought it up.
Son: Can I stay out later?
Mom: No.
Son: Why not? Just give me one good reason?
Mom: You don't think there is one good reason for me not to let you stay out later.
Son: No I don't [glaring.]
Mom: I admit I don't have one good reason that will convince you.
Son: SEE!
Mom: Nevertheless, I am really not comfortable with you going out at all tonight- I agree with you- you won't make it back in on time- just stay home.
Son: I thought you said it was good to bring it up!
Mom: It was.
Son: But I got screwed.
Mom: In a way, yes, you did.
Son [glares ]
Son: OK, I'll make it back tonight on time.
Mom: That would please me but how can you be so sure?
Son: I'm not going to go with Todd. I'm going to go with Gina. She has to be back the same time I do so if I go with her I know I'll make it.
Read more about this parenting technique in an earlier post from November of last year: "I Agree"
Also, we have posted about the power of agreeing, twisting the agreement, and falling back on "nevertheless" and "regardless" in this post: "Gimme three steps, won't you gimme three steps, gimme three steps towards the door..."
Note: Some of our teens are Oppositional Defiant perhaps.
A Mom's Insight into Missing Memories - Part 3 - I can't remember much...
Posted by:Rocco--Thursday, April 08, 2010
Here is the next part of a mom’s missing memories. Lori shared this in 2008. Her story touches all families of teenage addicts.
Losing a Teenager and Gaining an Adult - by Lori
"He had to let go of his teen years. His drug addiction didn’t allow him to be a teenager and he had to accept that he could not recapture those teen years. They were gone forever...
...I once asked my son about the years he spent doing drugs and if he considered writing down some of his memories so that others could understand. He said that he couldn’t, because he can’t remember much. And after a few days of thinking about this comment, I began to realize how sad this statement is, so very sad. His teen years, that should have been some of the best of his life, can be capsulated in the simple statement, “I can’t remember much.” …"
To continue with Lori's story, use the link below or click on the title of this post above:
Losing a Teenager and Gaining an Adult - Part 3 of 6 - by Lori
Each week I will post the next entry or you can link to them through the PSST blog.
Thank you Lori - This helps us understand and cope. We are just now going through this realization ourselves at this time.
Rocco
Max and Mels Terrible Adventure - The Prodigal Son Returns Home
Posted by:Sally--Tuesday, April 06, 2010
All week long we discussed what would be the best thing to say, or not say, when he finally walked in. We agreed that on the first evening at least, we would remain calm, would not get into any deep discussion, and make sure we told him we loved him. We were going to do this no matter what mood brought him in the door.
When he walked in, he strode by me quickly, my sense being he was afraid of what I was going to do. What I did do, was call him, make him come to where I was, and gave him a bear hug that I held on to for a while. He hugged back. Then the same thing with Mel. We told him to get a shower, get something to eat, and we'll talk soon.
That said...a counselor we have worked with at Gateway said to us "I can always tell when I am getting somewhere when the kid starts behaving like the possessed girl from The Exorcist - They will try several ways of fighting you (the Exorcist) until they (the possessed) are broken down and are ready to be repaired". I thought that was an apt analogy, so I didn't get overly excited when our son was pleasant and reasonable in our first round of discussions: our talking points were: what did you learn from this, do you understand how and why things got to this point, do you understand as a result, that further consequences will occur? No one yelled, no one argued, he was calm, and seemed to understand what we were saying. Again, Mel and I made sure to add how much we love him, and that anything we do in regards to him is about keeping him physically and emotionally safe so he can grow up and have choices in his life.
The next day, the demon started to rear his head. He couldn't get out of bed, didn't want to go to school, wouldn't go to Gateway, announced that he was going out, he couldn't possibly stay home all day, it was beautiful out and he was bored. I put my foot down. Still didn't yell, but went over again the reasons he had gotten himself into this jam in the first place. He started to scream "I shouldn't be in this at all...all I had was a little weed for personal use, and the cop could have let it go, but NOOOOO, he has to get ME, and everyone else got away!!"
I said " first of all, weed in any amount is illegal. Secondly, you are under age. Thirdly, the cop did what he was supposed to, thankfully. And finally, you are blaming everyone else for your situation except for yourself! You need to learn that you control your choices, and therefore any consequence, good or bad that comes with it, is something you have earned". After much back and forth on this note, he finished "You guys are @$$holes!" I decided to use a little what I learned in PSST. I got into his physical space, leaned towards him and agreed with him.."we may be @$$holes, but we are @$$holes who love you and care about you more than any human on this earth!" The phone rang - it was his PO telling us we have a detention hearing for him tomorrow at Shuman. More to come...
(Clipart from Clipartheaven.com)
Home Pass from the Institution (or Ooops- you're a quart low!)
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Monday, April 05, 2010
The next post is entitled Preparing for a Six-hour Home Pass. This is a little introduction to an earlier post followed by a link to our original role-play from 1997. If you don't see the link there or if you want to skip straight to it click original role-play.
I just noticed that the original was written almost exactly three years ago! In fact, the role-play mentions an Easter Visit.
I hope you all had a Happy Easter. I also wish all of you to have either (1)the best ever visits with your teenagers or better yet, I wish that (2)you all learn important stuff about what's going on inside that teenager-head!
In a way a home pass with your teenager is like lifting the hood of your car and checking the oil. When we see that we are a quart low (or sometimes two) we feel bad. Nevertheless, it's really good that we looked under there isn't it? The things our teens do and say on home passes are often indicative of what they are really thinking. Sometimes we can even see what they intend to do after discharge. We need to know. Sometimes it hurts, but it's always better to know than not to know. Sometimes we leave them in treatment longer because we hope they can either find the quart of oil they need, or better yet, just have the oil and the filter changed.
Also, while they are in inpatient we hope they will find "the miracle." However, we are not always aware that by not allowing them to manipulate us on a home pass we are providing treatment ourselves. When we stand firm on our talking points or when we stand up to them, look them in the eye, and say something like:
"No, not this time- this time we do it our way. And while you're in treatment, we hope that you come to understand that things at home are going to be different when you return."
Bam. Boom. The parent(s) who do this have just delivered perhaps a more effective treatment than the teenager got all week in the rehab. Rather than compare effectiveness of treatments it would be better to point out that the treatment administered by the parent compliments and enhances the treatment administered by the rehab.
In other words, the teenager who just got his "chain rattled" because he could no longer manipulate his parent on a home pass is now primed for treatment at the rehab. On the other hand, the parent who is still afraid to upset his teenager or is afraid to have a "bad visit" has confirmed to the teenager that it is still the teenager who is all-powerful. That all-powerful teenager is going to have a difficult time making good use of the treatment at the rehab. Instead, we are going to hear, "he's not ready."
Think about it. Why should he change? He is still powerful enough to scare his parents even though he is in inpatient isn't he? This teen will cruise though treatment knowing that when he comes home he'll still be the one-in-charge.
A Summary of our April 3rd PSST Meeting
Posted by:Sally--Sunday, April 04, 2010
We had eleven fa
One regular mom quoted Alexander Pope and said hope springs eternal... and this is true.
Hope springs eternal in the human breast: Man never is, but always To be Blest. - Alexander Pope
Our HOPE is OUR BLESSING!
We will work through all of this and we will continue to fight the good fight.
Ethyl was there and brought some inspiration. (Read the post about her daughter Lucy who is now in the Navy). I was pleased that our other son, I will call him Frodo, came along to shed some light on how a sibling feels and lives with the fact that their home is in turmoil because of a teenager's addiction with drugs.
At any rate, we took our break when the meeting should have ended and then Rocco and Frodo and I had to go but I heard that several parents stayed on to do some great role playing.
Thanks again to our fearless leaders, Lloyd, Val and Kathie who we enjoy spending our Saturday's with to learn how to be good parents to children who have addictions.
Emily's Progress - Or Lack of It.
Posted by:Sally--Wednesday, March 31, 2010
-Ernest Hemingway
I encourage any readers who have a bit of wisdom or a thought on this to post it.
Protect Our Doubts - by Paulo Coelho
Posted by:Sally--Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Rocco was thinking of Emily's mom and Emily's Progress and we both thought these words of wisdom were apropriate.
Protect our doubts, because Doubt is a way of praying. It is Doubt that makes us grow because it forces us to look fearlessly at the many answers that exist to one question.
And in order for this to be possible...
Protect our decisions, because Decisions is a way of praying. Give us the courage, after our doubts, to be able to choose between one road and another. May our YES always be a YES, and our NO always be a NO. Once we have chosen our road, may we never look back nor allow our soul to be eaten away by remorse.
And in order for this to be possible...
Protect our actions, because Action is a way of praying. May our daily bread be the result of the very best that we carry within us. May we, through work and Action, share a little of the love we receive.
And in order for this to be possible...
Protect our dreams, because to Dream is a way of praying. Make sure that, regardless of our age or our circumstances, we are capable of keeping alight in our heart the sacred flame of hope and perseverance.
And in order for this to be possible...
Protect our enthusiasm, because Enthusiasm is a way of praying. It is what binds us to the Heaven and to Earth, to grown-ups, and to children; it is what tells us that our desires are important and deserve our best efforts. It is Enthusiasm that reaffirms to us that everything is possible, as long as we are totally committed to what we are doing.
And in order for this to be possible...
Protect our "us"; Because Life is the only way we have of making manifest Your miracle. May the earth continue to transform seeds into wheat, may we continue to transmute wheat into bread. And this is only possible if we have Love; therefore, do not leave us in solitude. Always give us Your company and the company of men and women who have doubts, who act and dream and feel enthusiasm, and who live each day as if it were totally dedicated to Your glory.
Amen
Paulo Coelho - Brazilian lyricist and novelistIn 1996, Coelho founded the Paulo Coelho Institute, which provides aid to children and elderly people with financial problems. In September 2007, Coelho was named a Messenger of Peace to the United Nations.
A Walk in the Park with Cisco and The Beagle
Posted by:Sally--Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Cisco had another three hour pass on Saturday; Rocco was out of town on business so I trekked out on my own to see him. Well, I wasn't completely alone, I took The Beagle with me. The Beagle is good company for a long drive but I will make a mental note for next time not to share my happy meal with The Beagle because he does get car sick.
