TO ACT 53 OR NOT TO ACT 53?
We are in a predicament about whether to go through with the Act 53 papers. Or not.
It would help a lot if my husband and I agreed fully on it. He will support my final decision but at this point I am exhausted and tired of doing all the foot work myself.
This could be the last foot work I may have to do since my daughter will turn 18 this May 24. Also she left and is living at another kids house because of her knowing I was looking into Act 53. She is only a block away and we know exactly which house so that is reassuring.
There is just no crystal ball to know whether this is the best way to go or my husband's thoughts are let her go and this will not last. Then when she comes to her senses she will ask to come home and then she will be given the stipulation that she can only come home after she gets into a rehab.
But I asked him if she knocked on the door this cold wintry night do we let her in and then expect her to look for this rehab? Or do we refuse the minor in the door?
If she gets back in, can she then not look for the rehab and refuse to leave?
Then we are stuck and back to keeping my purse always locked in our triple locked "fort" which is our bedroom.
Make sure the car keys are locked up there to and any medication including the dogs medication is locked up.
And who is to say she will not again do drugs in the house that she buys from the local stores (orange extract, Unisom sleep aid, Benadryl, cough syrup etc). Right now she is with so called fellow friends who she claims are treating her wonderfully.
So if I have her ripped out of there because being accepted by peers is her life long dream since she was bullied so badly at high school we had to remove her for her own safety (suggested by the school).
PA Cyber-School did not work so she is at this time a drop out. After her summer drug rehab that she came out of fantastic and herself and happy for the first time in 5 years.
The goal was for her to get a lot of NA meetings under her belt, get her GED, driver's license, job, and prepare for college courses.
None of the goals where met due to one issue and relapses we dealt with within 6 weeks after getting home.
Please tell me more about your experience with ACT 53 and the other PSST parents who dealt with this dilemma.
Thank you,
Two Tired Parents
A Parent Asks for Advice on Act 53
Posted by:Sally--Saturday, February 11, 2012
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9 comments:
GO FOR IT!
We went through ACT 53 last May for my son and have NO REGRETS. You can read our journey on the blog. Look up Wilma, Bam Bam and Fred.
Long story short Bam Bam had been in outpatient treatment went from IOP to Parital Hospitalization. He had already told us he would refuse inpatatient which was the next step for him and at the time he did not not have probation. We went to court(ACT 53) and an INDEPENDENT d & A person evaluated him and recommended in-patient treatment. This evaluation was done with the person not knowing what was in the petition, meeting me, nothing except her conversation with my son. And her recommendation was IN-PATIENT.
Life has not been perfect but with the help of the court we have been able to force him into life-saving treatment that he would not have sought on his own. If you can I would also recommend filing charges to get her probation so you have the extra help we parents need in trying to save our drug-addicted teens. (There are also posts on the blog about this topic which none of us has undertaken lightly.)
Who knows when or if they will thank us but you will know that you have done everything in your power to save your child.
Also, reading Violet's post you will see that sometimes there is light at the end of the tunnel. We are still in the tunnel and are still struggling but for now my son is 17, alive and preparing for college in the fall. He is not happy with my husband and especially me as I was the one who orchestrated everything (I'm affectionately (?) known as the
f*%%$ B!**$*tH) but so what-he is alive, under supervision and making some plans for his future. I don't know if or when he will give up weed,drugs and drink but I know I will have done everything I can to help him. Ultimately, it is up to him.
Wilma
My heart goes out to you. You are in the same place I was a few months ago. My daughter was using drugs and stealing from us and when I told her she had to go to rehab she left and moved in with a friend. She was 17 at the time with only about three months to go until her 18th birthday. I found out about Act 53 and started the process. After ten days of staying at her friend's house my daughter got caught shoplifting and the police returned her to me. She promised to stay out of trouble and stop using, however this lasted only a short time until she fell back to her old ways. I proceeded with the act 53 and she was evaluated and it was recommended that she receive outpatient treatment. (this was right before Christmas and I had reservations about locking her up for the holidays). The Act 53 counselors were so caring and kind, the experience was not nearly as scary as I had anticipated.
My daughter was in outpatient treatment for a couple weeks but came up dirty on a drug test. Then she got caught at an underage drinking party and we agreed she needed to go inpatient. Well she has been in an inpatient treatment program for 27 days and I am amazed at the change in her! I feel like I have the daughter I lost back and I am so glad I didn't give up on her. She will be eighteen in one month and I know if I wouldn't have done this she would have been lost to me. IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!! TAKE ACTION WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE. You won't regret it. I would strongly recommend that you push for inpatient treatment for three reasons:
1)Kids think they can beat the system when they are forced into outpatient treatment.
2)You do not have time to try outpatient treatment since your child will be 18 soon, and
3)you and your husband will get some much needed rest knowing your child is in a safe place.
I hope this helps. I will pray for you.
ACT 53 will help build a team of professionals to help your daughter and family.
The most important issue is SAVING YOUR DAUGHTERS LIFE before an overdose not letting her actions run their course until she comes back begging to live at home where she is most likely the Master Manipulator.
Substance abuse ends in either of two ways....RECOVERY or death....
Our Andy is an 18 3/4 yr old with the emotional traits of a 12 yr old....when he first began huffing and through the years advanced to dangerous street drugs. He is 6 mo. clean....longest time ever in 6 yrs of in-patient & out-patient facilities.
You will wonder after enacting the ACT53....."Why didn't I do this sooner?" She will be very angry, but as parents....we don't have to be their friends...
Best of luck to your family...this is a horrible disease & all of us at PSST are walking this road with you.
Alice and I feel for you. Many parents have been in this same situation. We did not need Act 53 because Ed and Norton were arrested and solved our problem of how to make them see where their lives were headed.
Your daughter will come to her senses one day and come back. The hard part is figuring out how to let her grow up and out of her current condition, and do it before it is too late. This is not easy to figure out. (I'm not going to give an opinion on Act 53 since we did not use it.) One way to let her grow up is to let her start dealing with the consequenses that result from and match the conditions she has created.
I wish you lots of luck and love! Parenting an addicted teen is not easy.
Thank you all for the support and encouragement. We did file the Act 53 last Tuesday. We have also been encouraged to file a complaint against her for stealing medications presscribed for other family members and damage to the house or household items. Hopefully she is put into the system and answer to a parole officer.They feel that with what we have told them about her drug use, she needs long term rehab and getting her into the system will give them the time needed since she is turning 18 in May. It will be 3 weeks Monday that she left and has not returned. She has called from a private line to let us know she is ok. I am aware now that she is not just staying with local kids but adults I don't even know and not in the local area. She's changing from house to house. I am very concerned for her safety and will sleep and feel much better off the streets. It is hard not to obsess over her right now.
Stay strong. You did the right thing and someday she will hopefully appreciate it. Seek out support to help you through. Attending PSST and nar-anon meetings will help. Most importantly,take care of YOU.
Good luck and God Bless
Well Pepples hearing is scheduled for this coming Monday, 3/5/12. She is still not home but is "hiding out" in our neighbors house across the street. She is not aware we know this. If this wasn't such a serious issue, it would be funny. God Bless the neighbors. It was such a relief to know where she is and that she is safe. I received a letter regarding the complaint we filed against her stating that a juvenile probation officer will be in touch. I broke that news to her yesterday when I called her to once again remind her of the hearing on Monday that I strongly urge her to go to. She was histerical and blaming me for doing this to her. Although I was nervous, I stayed calm and reminded her she did this to herself. As usual, she does not like that fact, so she hung up on me. The neighbors, Lucy and Rikie, told me she cried and is panicing as reality and time is closing in on her. I am praying she stays put where I know where she is and doesn't do anything drastic, finally accepts the facts that if she doesn't come to this hearing another one will be scheduled and her consequences are not going away. This will be addressed sooner or later. Because we love and care for our daughter too much not to go through with this. It's going to be a long weekend.
Betty & Barney
Betty and Barney,
Good luck tomorrow with the hearing. If she doesn't go to this hearing then if she doesn't go the next one (anyone correct me if i'm wrong) a warrant will be issued for her arrest and the police/deputies will be bringing her in. We thought we were going to put this to the test more than once but in the end Bam Bam cooperated and went with us to court. Beleive, me it's a long ride to the courthouse but worth it. You will not regret your decision. From what you have written Pebbles will probably go directly from court to in-patient. This happened to BamBam through ACT 53 at his first hearing.
You will have much added support once everything is in place with probation in addition to ACT 53. Please keep us posted.
Wilma
Pebbles hearing was on Monday. She did decide to attend. And we all went together as a happy family. Pebbles has already spent 28 days at Gateway and (1) whole day at Pyramide. They MADE me pick her up since she refused to eat and has a eating diagnosis they did not want to be responsible for. So Abraxas was there and spoke with her and Barney and me. It sounded as if they they had a wonderful program for girls that Pepples could benefit from. Unfortunately, they did not accept her either because of her history of cutting and she has scars on her arm. So as we went in to see the judge Act 53 had no recommendations to give him. Since we did press charges so that after she did her rehab stay she would then have a probabtion officer to answer to for a longer period of time, she was handcuffed and taken to Shuman to be held until the probabtion office can find a place to meet her needs. We were in shock! I have recovered better than Barney. Barney is very afraid she is going to be placed with a Wards facility. Barney is a police officer and deals with a particular one in our area that he is not impressed with to say the least. Our older daughter was put in Wards Independent living (which meant at that time, living independently in your very own apartment that she picked out). She was not supervised AT ALL. She did not attend school, get a p.t. job, see a thereapist, go to NA, or have even one "mandatory" urine test. The apartment was a party place for teens. She left when she caught it on fire. I don't think giving them an apartment is no longer part of the program options. Thank God, at least I hope not. It looks as if they are looking for something more for severe mental issues with an element of D&A. Something I have not prepared myself for. My husband wants to drop the charges before she ends up in something he doesn't want or have control of. I guess I would rather keep the charges and have her come home with an ankle bracelet and on probabion. And then we can continue to live in our made up asylum. Hope could this go so wrong?
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