Today at a record breaking PSST meeting where 27 or 28 parents, (still counting heads) attended, "Ralph Kramden" pointed out not to forget to use these power words when I was doing a role-play. Earlier, "Joan" pointed out that she had used nevertheless to make a strong point with her daughter too.
Original Post: "I have learned from (from Max and Lloyd) that there are two words / phrases that are extremely powerful (1) "you're right" and (2) "nevertheless." When used sequentially (in that order), they have power beyond the sum of their parts. Joy Y.
Thanks for the comment, Joy Y. It seems to be more powerful when you give real agreement to something, as opposed to lipservice, and not apply the nevertheless like a negating "but."
Also, these two work well with "I'm NOT comfortable with that."
2 comments:
Its amazing that 4 months ago, when the Prodigal first came home, I had to stop and actually compose my responses in my head before opening my mouth. I was new at the power of "and" statements (instead of "but" statements). It was SO hard to think of what to say and not say; how not to get into a power struggle! At that point, I was just grasping that I had rights; a right to quiet, a right to not feel intimidated or threatened, a right to make choices for what is acceptable to live in my home. Even though we have hit some "bumps" along the way (the Prodigal was AWOL for 4 days last week and came home telling me the drug test would 'pop up for THC'...which it did), I feel comfortable handing him a specimen container and saying "I know it will be positive this week AND to continue to live in at home, it will have to be negative in 10 days and every week after that"). Agreeing with the parts of things that the Prodigal says that are true and saying "nevertheless" (usually followed by "thats what it takes to live in our house") is very powerful. You are absolutely right, I find myself often saying "I'm not comfortable with that" AND not feeling I need to provide and answer, when asked "why". I am not sure who has learned more these last 6 months, the Prodigal or me.
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