New Years Resolutions Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Sunday, January 01, 2012

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I resolve for 2012...

1. To stop having too large of an opinion of myself. I am not able to answer every one's problems. I am not that powerful even though sometimes I wish... I have to let people struggle with their own problems and offer help only within certain limits, and remember that if I'm trying to work on some one's problems harder than they are working on their own problems, something is wrong.


2. To remember to have confidence in people. When I assume that I'm the only one that can help, then not only have I exaggerated my own place in life but I have cast a vote of no confidence in others. They can rise to the occasion. They will find a way and especially they will find a way if I stop trying so much to find it for them.


3. To have faith that things are working out the way they are supposed to work out. This is part of Desiderada by Max Ehrmann: "Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

4. To set an example for my loved ones by taking better care of myself. I can be healthy, work out more, eat less, offer more love, and still do it while protecting myself with good boundaries from the people that I love. Remember that unconditional love does not mean that I have to be a door mat.

I will remember that it is often better to say "no" and feel the guilt than say "yes" and feel the resentment.

5. To remember to learn from everyone. Everyone has something to teach. I need to focus more on what I can learn from others rather than on what I can teach. It's nice to teach but the lucky ones are those of us that never stop learning. It's ironic that our teenagers are often our best teachers, even though what we learn from them may not always be what they intended to teach.

6. We say it all the time, but this year I'd like to do a better job of accepting things I can't change. When I close a door it helps God know that I need a window.

7.  To remember that the only person I can REALLY change is myself. And no doubt, that is "the universe unfolding as it should."

8. To appreciate what I have. Focus more on that and don't let a longing for what I don't have take over.

"A grateful addict won't get high." Hopefully, a grateful co-dependent won't enable. To finish this thought I once again will quote from Desiderada:

 "Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful."

9. Don't focus on should-a, would-a, or could-a. My daughter taught me this when she was ten years old but I think I need to work on it some more. Of course I have regrets but I can't wallow in the past without missing the present.

The important thing is did I recover from the mistake, did I admit the mistake, did I make any amends on the mistake, and did I learn enough from making it that I didn't keep making the same one again and again? This is what will show my character.

Dude #1 who just made it into the afterlife: Wow! I think I'm in heaven! Or not. It's hard to tell. What do you think?

Dude #2 who just made it into the afterlife: I dunno. Look at that sign, man!

Sign says: "All ye who would enter here must leave all regrets at the gate. If you can not leave all regrets here, you must carry them with you until you learn to leave them behind."

Dude #1: I knew that was important! Aaaaaaaagh. I tried to leave my regrets, daaarn it I just knew this was important!  Now it's going to keep me out cause I never could quit wishing that things had worked out differently. I made so many mistakes, garsh, what am I going to do now!

Dude #2. Just drop em now. It doesn't look like it's too late!

Dude #1. I used to like that Sinatra song, you know where he casually sings, "Regrets, I've had a few - too few to mention." What does he mean by that? How can he drop em if he can't even mention them? I've got regrets, too many to mention so I never really did get that song.

Dude #2: Well, we've got another chance now to just drop em. I'm going in. I must have done OK if I got this far. Good luck, man, I'm going over.

Dude #1: [watches Dude #2 walk over the threshold and disappear] Ohhhhh crap, I should have gone when he went, now I'm all alone. I don't know what to do I'm afraid I'm carrying too many regrets to just 'drop' them now! Oh darn, I should have dropped these all along like we're supposed to do- now I'm afraid I just have too many. I'll never drop them all right here- but I'm going to try.

[Dude #1 sits down, makes a list of all his regrets. It takes up fifty pages. He reads each one of them and makes conscious decision to let each one go. He even imagines a pair of wings around each regret and he then visualized each regret flying away. Finally, he believes that he has purged himself of all regrets. It has taken three days. He stands up and tries to walk into heaven. He hits an invisible barrier and bounces back, trips and lands on his rear-end. Suddenly he hears Saint Peter's voice.

St. Peter: You are still regretful!

Dude #1: No! I let each and every regret go. I'm sure I got them all!

St. Peter: Just one big one here that apparently you couldn't let go of.

Dude #1: Was it leaving my first wife? That was a HUGE mistake and I paid for that one the rest of my life.

St. Peter: No, you visualized that one flying away- good job on that one.

Dude #1: Was it betting my house that the Pens would win the Stanley cup without Crosby? That one was really stupid.

St. Peter: Nope- you managed to get rid of that one!

Dude #1: Aaaaaaaagh, I don't know, it could have been any one of a hundred! Was it that relationship I had with my secretary years ago?

St. Peter: H'mm, interesting enough, you don't seem to regret that one too much at all! No, apparently, you aren't able to stop regretting that you carried all these regrets with you for years!

Wishing PSST and everyone a challenging meaningful exciting intense year that has enough exhilaration to balance out the disappointing things. I hope you all feel more alive and that each one of you smell the opportunity to find or remember that special thing in yourself that you value.

I wish you all to be surrounded by loved ones when you feel lonely, to be alone when you feel crowded, and to be at peace with yourself and with God, whatever your conception of him (or her) happens to be.

If you would like to share one of your resolutions or comment on these nine, please do so.