LIFE IS A WALK. EACH DAY WE TAKE STEPS. OUR TOMORROW IS DETERMINED BY THE STEPS WE TAKE TODAY. WHEN MY CHILD LEARNED TO WALK, HE DIDN’T GET VERY FAR WITHOUT FALLING. HE FARED MUCH BETTER IF HE REACHED UP AND TOOK MY HAND OR HIS FATHER’S HAND. WE WERE ABLE TO GUIDE HIM AWAY FROM DANGER AND GET HIM SAFELY WHERE HE NEEDED TO GO. BUT SOMETIMES HE QUICKLY HEADED OFF WITHOUT OUR HELP….
OCCASIONALLY WE ALLOWED THOSE THINGS TO HAPPEN BECAUSE WE WANTED HIM TO EVENTUALLY LEARN TO WALK WITHOUT OUR ASSISTANCE…
OUR GOAL WAS ALWAYS TO PREPARE HIM FOR THE DAY WHEN HE WOULD NO LONGER NEED OUR HELP. AND WE WERE THRILLED WHEN WE FIRST SAW HIM EXPERIENCE THAT JOY OF FREEDOM FOR THE FIRST TIME.
This reminds me of what we, as parents of teen addicts, are still going through. I believe we are taking all the steps we can to save our kids from danger and get them to the place where they are able to stand on their on and BE FREE with the help of PSST!!!!
Words of WIsdom ~ Found by Daisy, A PSST Mom
Posted by:Sally--Thursday, January 06, 2011
What about Michael?
Posted by:Sally--Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Cisco is in an adult half-way house and I just got off of the phone with him.
We talked about some of his old friends.
Yes, I did hear that Bob got Tammy pregnant.
She is keeping the baby but they do not have plans to marry at this time.
He asked me if I heard about Michael? Michael was a kid that Cisco knew from back in middle school. This one piqued my interest because Michael's mother was my best friend when I was in sixth grade.
Maureen (Michael's mom) lived across the street and she was so fun loving and quite popular in those days. Her mom bought her clothes and shoes constantly where I felt lucky if I got one pair of shoes at the beginning of a school year. As for clothes, I did not worry because I was the same dress size as my older sister who had a good job and she left for the office before I left for school. I would sneak into her room as soon as she left and wear her stylish clothes and have them back neat and clean before she was the wiser. Even with this tactic, I could not keep up with Maureen. She had so many material things. Clothes, money, personality and many boyfriends.
I quit hanging out with her after a few years because she got heavily into drugs. She married, had three children and divorced. Her life spiraled downward. She lost her home because she could not pay the taxes. And now Michael. She lost him.
Michael overdosed on heroin.
DRUGS KILL PEOPLE.
After a long silence, Cisco asked me if I was still on the line. I cradled the phone closer to my ear. I spoke very clearly. I said:
I am glad you are alive, I am glad you are in a half way house. I love you.
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A Mom's Letter ~ Changes in Attitude and Changes in Latitude ~ by Violet, a PSST Mom
Posted by:Sally--Tuesday, January 04, 2011
A Mom's Letter to the Court
I thought I would send out an update on Sal. We recently went to court, because I pressed charges on my son, which went surprisingly well.
My goal was to obtain a consent decree and a P.O., which occurred. I read my victim impact letter (see below) and the judge was very kind to me. I raised my hand to speak on several occasions and was granted all the time I needed for statement, questions and suggestions.
We are waiting to meet our P.O., so right now I feel like I am floating in the wind, which is ultimately better than floating away. Sal is home from placement so I have once again entered the hyper-vigilant state. Even with all my PSST training I do relapse from time to time.
He has been keeping busy which means I have been busy. NA meetings, counseling, the gym, I even brought him to my job, with permission of course, to work for me. I thought it was great but Sal wasn’t too happy with 4:30 A.M. wake up and of course working for free. But nevertheless he went.
He is still on track for starting college on Jan.4th, but again that is up to him to stay on track and work his recovery. Oh he still tries to rock the boat from time to time, but that boat has not capsized yet.
So for today and just for today, which is all I can ask, we are o.k.
Victim Impact Letter
Your Honor, I am here today not with malice, but as a parent desperate to make every attempt to save my son’s life by obtaining a consent decree and a P.O.
Our lives have been at the mercy of the disease of addiction. We witnessed the death of Sal’s father and my dear friend both to suicide (by guns) at the hands of this disease 2 yrs. ago. As I watched and tried unsuccessfully to intervene on their behalf, I see the same pattern occurring in my son and I will not stop trying to prevent the same outcome.
I would like to begin my story with the present. Sal is currently in a half-way house where he is doing well. I am so proud of him for he has been in rehab for this disease for about 8 months and although it has been a struggle he is still trying to work his recovery.
But now I must reflect on the past and share my concerns with this court. Sal has had a difficult time working his recovery program on his own, once out of treatment.
He was caught with drugs in school last year and was in out-patient treatment but continued to use. He spiraled out of control and ended up in Western Psych on a 302. Watching the police take him away just broke my heart. In-patient rehab was recommended but he refused to go and attempted out-patient again but began using immediately.
He continued to go down-hill. Stealing from his family. Bringing people over our house to rob us. What had my son become, someone I did not know. What had I become, sleeping with my purse, hiding all our valuables, hiding the car keys, installing security cameras. This is no way to live. This is not living. It is breaking my heart.
As his addiction progressed he would become violent and I currently have a PFA in effect. How could my son, my own flesh and blood, physically hurt me, his mother. He broke my heart.
He then violated the PFA and has indirect criminal contempt charges still pending. As I watched the police take him away in handcuffs, him lunging at him, telling me I was not his mother, he looked like a monster. I could no longer recognize my son. It broke my heart.
He spent several days in jail awaiting that hearing and as part of the order he was to go directly into placement which he did not do. After spending several days on the street he went into placement for about 80 days. When he was released he had about 3 weeks before college was to start but he started using the first day. The doors of opportunity are beginning to close. It is no longer breaking my heart, it is killing me and more important it is killing my son.
He returned into placement for about another 80 days and to help him transition was sent to a half-way house. He is to start college in Jan., and although I have mixed feelings about his readiness he cannot stay in placement forever. I want to give him every opportunity to succeed. My hope is that we get a consent decree with a P.O., and maybe that will be enough of a deterrent to help him stay clean and have a life outside of the criminal system.
I pray every day that God saves my son and as his mother if I did not do everything in my power to save his life I couldn’t live with myself. In our house there were no football games, no wrestling matches, no proms, no birthday parties, no graduation party, no vacation, no laughing, no smiling, no joking around. This disease has stolen the childhood from my son. I implore the court not to let it steal his life.
Violet
DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE
Posted by:Rocco--Thursday, December 30, 2010
Important Public Service Announcement
Have a Very Happy New Years Celebration
PLEASE DON'T DRINK & DRIVE
A friend passed me this link to YouTube to share.
This link needs to be passed onto everyone who has the keys to a vehicle.
This is one of the most intense Public Service Announcements ever made.
It was made by the "Transportation Accident Commission" of Australia.
Australia should be complemented on having the courage to "Show it like it is" to all drivers and to air it on TV...it is very moving and very life like...it has a very strong impact.
CAUTION: THIS AD CONTAINS VERY STRONG CONTENT - IT SHOWS THE RESULTS OF DRINKING AND DRIVING GRAPHICALLY!
Please click on the full-screen view at the bottom right corner.
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High Tech Gateway to Getting High By Lindy Lou
Posted by:Sally--Thursday, December 30, 2010
High Tech ~ Gateway to Getting High
By Lindy Lou
I just listened to an i-dosing track available for free on youtube. It was basically a persistent tone in one ear and the sound of ‘a scratchy am radio when you are trying to find a station’ in the other ear. The visual they put on the screen to accompany the ‘music’ was a demonic head, though they suggested you close your eyes to listen to the track. I found I needed to consciously block myself from trying to ‘hear’ words while I was listening since the scratchy sounds in the one ear on the track could easily have become fuel for the mind to try to ‘hear’ words. With a demonic image on the screen as autosuggestion, I could imagine the mind could ‘create’ or tap into some scary memories or feelings. I was hoping the experience was going to be like chanting meditation mantras while staring at an optical illusion, which could make you feel like you are in an altered state, but the sounds in that track were nightmarish rather than blissful. I found the sounds disconcerting and stressful making my heart rate go up and leaving me feeling anxious as if I had just been trapped under a railroad bridge where I had had to endure the screeching of metal wheels on metal rails for hours. I saw no need to follow the directions of ‘listening to the track 3 times back to back to see what you see/feel’. My mood was already altered enough for the worse and I was not seeking an aura-stress induced headache.
I have not gone to an i-dosing site yet (I don’t feel like subjecting my computer to the threats of viruses tonight). But the media coverage on the i-dosing craze assures us that one can purchase tracks that are marketed to simulate the ‘highs’ that one can get from ingesting various drugs. Kids are curious, so this is clever marketing to get kids to find out what an opium high ‘feels’ like without injecting or smoking it; clever marketing to get the feeling of all kinds of drugs just by buying their binaural beat track and listening to it over and over again.
As parents, we can hope the kids will have unpleasant listening experiences and it will end there. But there will be kids who will opt to try various tracks until they find one they like, and again, we can hope it will end there. Problem is though; these kids are now conditioned into drug-seeking behaviors because of the marketing autosuggestions that their experiences with these tracks mimic drug induced states. I did not find any definitive research on whether i-dosing actually is becoming a gateway into drug use, but therein lays the concern with this craze. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/15/digital-drugs-get-teens-h_n_647397.html
http://newsok.com/digital-drugs-at-mustang-high-school-have-experts-warning-of-slippery-slope/article/3475464.Wired.com
Using binaural sounds in therapy has been around for quite a while. My son is ADHD and one of the problems we went through therapy to correct was his inability to distinguish figure – ground sounds. What this meant in practical terms was that my son could not tell which of the sounds he was listening to was the one he should pay attention to and which he should ‘block out’ or ignore. So in a classroom for example all the following sounds competed for his attention: the bird outside the window, the kid next to him scraping his chair on the floor, the rustling of papers, and the teacher talking. The therapy he did involved at least a hundred hours of listening to audio tapes with music in one ear and words in the other and then progressing to different words being said in each ear. As a therapy, it worked. One day, he was pitching a baseball game and excited told me he was able to block out the sound of the crowd and not be distracted from what he was doing by the noises around him. I realize that established sound therapies to correct hearing perceptual problems is not the topic of this post, but none of the articles I read on i-dosing talked about what affect binaural beats might have on kids whose auditory perception system is not fully developed or functioning properly. In addition, way too many ADHD kids tend to try drugs. Though I am not implying that all ADHD kids have auditory perception difficulties, I think there is quite a bit that researchers have not looked at here. In my opinion the jury is still out on the harm/harmlessness of the binaural beats craze. And i-dosing is yet another thing for parents to learn more about
