Pierre Has A Relapse - By Brigitte, a PSST Mom Posted by:Sally--Monday, May 09, 2011

A DARK WEEK - By Brigitte, a PSST Mom

Thanks to all of you at today's PSST meeting for your encouragement, support and hugs. Francois and I were feeling pretty low by the time we got to the meeting. We had to leave before elaborating, so here's the "short form" of what has transpired these past two weeks:

As most of you know, Pierre (16, weed) spent two weeks at the YYAP program and we reported he was doing well the first three weeks at home. We were "cautiously optimistic".

Week 4 rolled around and it was as if a switch had flipped--behavior and attitude had started to change. When I found out Pierre had skipped a few classes, I gave him a drug test, which he failed. He told us he found some weed in his room and that it was only one time. (Um, sure)

After 2 days of searching, we found 2 new bongs in the yard and 4 baggies inside his couch. His PO Sean gave him house detention for 2 weeks and his last opportunity to turn it around.


DAY 3 OF HOUSE DETENTION: I awoke at midnight, spider senses tingling, and walked into Pierre's room. I thought I smelled weed. Next morning, a search of his room uncovered….electrical tape. Electrical tape = trouble. Pierre has become the Master Bong Maker and I'm entirely sure he could put a Third World assembly line to shame. After an exhaustive search, we found a bag of weed, taped with electrical tape, to the inside, top of his dresser. A call to his PO followed.

Pierre was picked up at school, handcuffed and taken to Shuman where he was held for 5 days. This was the scariest time for us. When we saw him, his knuckles were swollen and bleeding, he had been crying, and he told us repeatedly he was going to kill himself. An alert to the staff and several texts to Pierre's PO assured us he would be safe.

While at Shuman, Pierre told us that his relapse was due in part to his younger brother Jaques drug use in front of him. We confronted Jaques who denied involvement, and gave him a drug test (it was positive, imagine that!). We called three of his close friends' parents and they screened their kids who also tested positive. We held a meeting with all the kids and parents, set up consequences and made a plan for going forward.

As an added caveat, Pierre's youngest brother Louis, who was adopted and has a myriad of emotional issues, had a horrendous week emotionally. It ended with him being bullied and punched in the mouth during an encounter at school. We have stepped up our search for an alternative school for him.

Pierre is now at the Gateway YES program for the next 3 months. His counselors reported to me that he is respectful and following the program. Our first two visits have revealed the other side of him--angry and defiant. We left today's visit early after he became verbally abusive. It's early in the program and we are hopeful that we will see meaningful change as the program progresses.

THE SILVER LINING:
Although we are tempted to wallow in how bad things seem, we are sincerely thankful that all three of our boys are alive and safe. That means there is hope for recovery.

Because of the support we received from Pierre's PO Sean and his therapist Danielle, we were able to remain calm and focused throughout most of this ordeal. Because of the ongoing support we receive from PSST, we feel we can continue providing Pierre and his brothers with the help they need.

ADVICE?
Does anyone have advice/experience on alternative schools for Pierre to finish out his senior year? We've heard of Community in Schools, cyber school, 4th Quarter (?), Presley Ridge. Pierre has also mentioned getting his GED, which we aren't the least bit excited about. He doesn’t want, and we don't want him, to go back to Bethel Park High School. Most of his contacts and friends there are users.

We are looking at ACLD Tillotson for Pierre's youngest brother. Does anyone have any experience with the school?

What is your opinion on underage addicts smoking cigs? Although we are both opposed to smoking, Francois and I initially allowed Pierre to smoke after leaving YYAP. Our thought was that it was asking too much to quit tobacco and weed at the same time. However, Pierre relapsed with weed after continuing to smoke cigs. We are thinking about banning tobacco altogether.

Finally, Happy Mother's Day to all you fabulous PSST mothers. We marvel at your strength, humor, and tenacity; you are the ultimate "Tiger Moms".

Brigitte and Francois