A Rocky Road with Bam by Wilma
Well, it's been almost eight weeks since Bam Bam was transferred to an adolescent ½-way house, and he has had some rocky times so far.
Initially the facility turned him down for admission but his team asked that he be re-evaluated and he was accepted. Bam has a history of aggression and mental health problems but they decided to give him a chance.
He was working a day program and, in addition to being evaluated there, he was breaking rules. He was calling his friends including his cousin that he has used with, going on facebook and making lunch dates with his friend Melvin (the same "friend" who took Bam out last Thanksgiving only to return in less than an hour with a stash of weed).
He told his boss that he had the lunch plans, which they made him cancel and so he got in some trouble at the house. When he called to tell me about this incident, he started off the phone call with "well I didn't get kicked out."
In addition to this he had also punched an outside wall at the house. The director felt the hand needed looked at, so the day before Thanksgiving Bam went to the ER and had a splint put on. However, he refused to continue to wear the splint.
Bam was also staff-splitting so disciplinary action was taken, which involves losing home passes. He was able to get 5 hours on Thanksgiving as the disciplinary action began at 3:00 Monday for 72 hours so it ended at 3:00 Thursday.
The holiday was awkward as we had to keep eyes on Bam at my brother's house. There were triggers there, the biggest one being Bam's cousin that he's used with. However, my family was glad to see him and I think Bam was glad to spend time with our extended family. He hasn't seen anyone except my sister in the 7 months that he's been away. We also took him home for about a half hour and he got to see the dog and home for the first time in almost 7 months.
He told his boss that he had the lunch plans, which they made him cancel and so he got in some trouble at the house. When he called to tell me about this incident, he started off the phone call with "well I didn't get kicked out."
In addition to this he had also punched an outside wall at the house. The director felt the hand needed looked at, so the day before Thanksgiving Bam went to the ER and had a splint put on. However, he refused to continue to wear the splint.
Bam was also staff-splitting so disciplinary action was taken, which involves losing home passes. He was able to get 5 hours on Thanksgiving as the disciplinary action began at 3:00 Monday for 72 hours so it ended at 3:00 Thursday.
The holiday was awkward as we had to keep eyes on Bam at my brother's house. There were triggers there, the biggest one being Bam's cousin that he's used with. However, my family was glad to see him and I think Bam was glad to spend time with our extended family. He hasn't seen anyone except my sister in the 7 months that he's been away. We also took him home for about a half hour and he got to see the dog and home for the first time in almost 7 months.
The Tuesday before Thanksgiving we were in court for Bam's review before his judge.
Bam was officially committed to the ½-way house and the judge agreed that Bam needed to be there. Prior to the hearing, Bam had told me that he thought he had enough of being in placements and that he was going to ask the judge to let him go home. Then he said that he was going to ask the judge to override the ½-way house disciplinary action. His therapist told him if he was going to do that, she would not go to bat for him regarding the partial holiday pass. Thankfully he didn't make these requests and cause any problems in court.
In fact his judge brought up Bam's award winning essay and mentioned that he had read it that day! He told Bam that he'd like to see him implement the suggestions he had in the essay!!!
This I want to see...
Bam was officially committed to the ½-way house and the judge agreed that Bam needed to be there. Prior to the hearing, Bam had told me that he thought he had enough of being in placements and that he was going to ask the judge to let him go home. Then he said that he was going to ask the judge to override the ½-way house disciplinary action. His therapist told him if he was going to do that, she would not go to bat for him regarding the partial holiday pass. Thankfully he didn't make these requests and cause any problems in court.
In fact his judge brought up Bam's award winning essay and mentioned that he had read it that day! He told Bam that he'd like to see him implement the suggestions he had in the essay!!!
This I want to see...
In the last several weeks Bam has been looking for a job and has had some interviews. He has to work while he is at the ½-way house since he is not in school. He has had some interviews and almost had one job, but the hours would not work out. However, he was hired at a restaurant close to the house. He called to ask us to buy him shoes (he had to have black, non-skid restaurant shoes) which we picked up for him. I thought here we go again buying yet another pair of shoes for Bam for a job and hoping this time it's for real.
Well, we were visiting him today and he told us he lost the job. He said it's because they knew he was living in a ½-way house but then he also said something about them wanting him to work more than 36 hours (which is what he can work while being at the house).
I'm not sure what the truth is. I never know when he is telling the truth.
Well, we were visiting him today and he told us he lost the job. He said it's because they knew he was living in a ½-way house but then he also said something about them wanting him to work more than 36 hours (which is what he can work while being at the house).
I'm not sure what the truth is. I never know when he is telling the truth.
Another issue with Bam that started the first week is that he was selling his stuff for money to buy cigarettes (more rule infractions).
Yes, he sold the earrings he bought the day before arriving at the house, at least one hat that we know of, and clothes. I suspect he is also trading his stuff. He denies that he does this, but where is the money coming from?? He did have some money he earned at ABC123 and he spent almost the entire amount on ONE pair of shoes!!
Yes, he sold the earrings he bought the day before arriving at the house, at least one hat that we know of, and clothes. I suspect he is also trading his stuff. He denies that he does this, but where is the money coming from?? He did have some money he earned at ABC123 and he spent almost the entire amount on ONE pair of shoes!!
Oh, and another bombshell is that Bam has decided when he is discharged from ½-way house, he is going to get his own apartment. He had told me and Fred that he decided to do this and the details have changed a few times – first he was moving himself to an expensive area, then he was moving in with his buddy Eddie who had been selling weed out of the family basement, and the third choice was moving in with his drug-dealer friend who lives in a questionable neighborhood. However, I don't think these options will fly with his P.O.
We spoke with a staff person who said that Bam went to church today (he is going every week) and she thinks he might be doing better with his sense of entitlement. We had a pleasant, short visit, with no turmoil.
Wilma
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