POWER TO THE MOMS! (Happy Mother's Day!) Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Sunday, May 08, 2011

A Happy Mother's Day to:

To mothers everywhere who fight the good fight.
To mothers all over who live with the fright
that their teenagers might die from this deadly disease...

To mothers who try so hard to fix things up so that their
teens won't suffer when they screw things up.
To mothers who cry at night for all that they have lost
To mothers who cry for what they fear they will loose.

To mothers who know that every time they say goodbye
It could be the last time they look in their children's eyes.
To mothers who take matters into their own hands
who decide to do whatever it takes.

To mothers who come to awkward meetings with strangers
if they think they might learn some important new thing
To mothers who think that now armed with this new knowledge
they can make a difference.

To mothers who strive to use the Courts, the police, the school,
the parents of their teen's friends, ACT 53,outpatient, church pastors, family therapists, support group meetings, (who turn over every last stone.)

To mothers who refuse to give up on their drug-driven teens
but who refuse to enable one more month, week, day or even minute
because they know how horrible each enabling act can be.

To mothers who rise above the fear- who stand up to their teenager
even though they are scared - scared of death but scared of more-
scared that teenagers will love them no more.

To mothers who agree to be the bad guy
and stand up to their teenagers every time they get high.
To mothers who have from time to time seen their teen get it together and experience the sober-mind.

To mothers who have seen some great turn-around
and this brings about the joy you have sought.
And yet even so- this is to you mothers who still live in fear
that even when things are going good that the disease is still there.

Happy Mothers Day as you strive to make things right,
because you fight this fight at great sacrifice.
There are no greater heroes, be they large or small,
who can hold a candle to you all.

Wishing you all the happiness and success with your teen even beyond your hopes.

Originally Posted by:Lloyd Woodward on Sunday, May 09, 2010

NOTE: we had 17 parents yesterday meet at Eastern Probation Offices. Thanks to Kathie T for facilitating the second part of the meeting. And thanks to Max for running it.

In the first part of the meeting we did a role-play that really hit home how difficult it is to STOP the ARGUING. Jessica was good sport and thanks to Jessica for providing the scenario. It was a great one to learn from.

It was difficult to know what issues to address first. We decided that the first thing to address was to put a boundary down, where Herman was not allowed to have veto power over the words that his parents decided to use, especially in regards to the R word and the D word and the A word (Recovery, Disease, Addiction). Parents can have no real power as long a teen is powerful enough to choose his parents words. Of course we don't want to call our teens names, belittle them, yell, or otherwise abuse them, but other than that we can use the vocabulary that is available to other citizens. GO PARENT EMPOWERMENT. POWER TO THE MOMS!

We are no longer allowing our teens to play the "That's disrespectful to me" card whenever they want to control something. For example, is it disrespectful to search a child's room? Maybe. But do we do it? Sure. Is it disrespectful to call their friend's peer's parents and let them know what's doing on? Sure. But we do it. Is it disrespectful to call in a drug dog from the police and have them search your child's room? Sure. But when we can, or when we think we need to do it we do it. Is it hurtful?

Well, I think anytime parents encroach on the enormous amount of power that their drug using teenager has acquired it can be hurtful. "Hey, mom, it really hurts me that you won't let me have an unsupervised party here at the house where my friends all feel safe enough to drink and do drugs!" Let's fry this red herring in a pan and eat it up cause it's time parents saw through this respect and hurt my feelings thing. We need to say, "nevertheless" and "regardless" get over it!!



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