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Quote of the Week
"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way" ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Happy Father's Day!
Posted by:Jenn--Thursday, June 12, 2014
When I was a boy of
fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man
around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had
learned in seven years.
~ Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi", Atlantic Monthly, 1874
Dad
© Karen K. Boyer
He never looks for
praises
He's never one to boast
He just goes on quietly working
For those he loves the most
His dreams are seldom spoken
His wants are very few
And most of the time his worries
Will go unspoken too
He's there.... A firm foundation
Through all our storms of life
A sturdy hand to hold to
In times of stress and strife
A true friend we can turn to
When times are good or bad
One of our greatest blessings,
The man that we call Dad.
Read More......
At a recent PSST meeting, someone
mentioned the 5 Love Languages, as presented in the book by Gary Chapman: words
of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical
touch. You may be aware that the 5
languages pertain to the relationship between husbands and wives, but you may
not know that these same languages are relevant to your relationship with your child
as well.
It’s easy to tell when a
teenager wants to be loved. Getting the message across is another matter
entirely. In addition to the obvious generation gap, many parents and children
face a sort of language barrier as well. The 5 Love languages of Teenagers is
an invaluable tool for analyzing a teen’s love language and expressing your
affections in an effective way. The search for love in a teenager’s life can
lead to disastrous results. But if you can speak the right language, the
difference can seem miraculous.
If you go to the website http://www.5lovelanguages.com/, look
under the words Discover your Love Language, where you will see the words Click
Here to Begin. You and your spouse can choose
to do the profile for yourselves, but you can also choose to do it for “My
Child”. In either case, the assessment
will score your rankings of the 5 Love Languages. You will see the following if you
choose to do the assessment for your child:
The Love Language Profile for Teenagers is designed to give you
a thorough analysis of your teenager’s emotional communication preference. It
will single out their primary love language, what it means, and how you can use
it to better understand them during this stage of their life. Invite them to
take the assessment and share their results with you. Not only will you show
them that you care, but that you are also striving to be a better parent.
You may want to first take the profile yourself, selecting the
statements you believe most accurately describe your teen. Then once they have
also taken the assessment, compare your results with theirs. This can make for
a lively and constructive conversation.
Read More......
What do gravel, puppy chow, lemon drop, spice, molly, purple
drank, and bromo dragonfly all have in common?
Their innocuous names are in direct contrast to their
possible side effects. Yes, they can
make their users feel happy, excitable, perhaps even euphoric. Yet they can also lead to hallucinations, paranoia,
seizures, convulsions, aggressive behavior, emergency room visits, even
death.
These drugs are all part of the emerging drug scene. According to the Regional Organized Crime
Information Center:
New drugs are
emerging at an unprecedented rate as manufacturers of “legal high” products use
new chemicals to replace those that are banned. These new chemicals take the
place of heroin, morphine, and amphetamines. These drugs are highly accessible,
touted as legal, and perceived as safe. However,
despite the popularity in designer drugs and legal high products, the abuse of
heroin and prescription painkiller medication is still trending throughout the
country.
If you want to increase your awareness about these drugs, click here for more information about emerging drug trends and the dangers they pose to our children and our communities.
Read More......
Our own Adventurous
Abby is going to rappel from the side of the Westin at Liberty Center in
Pittsburgh on June 25th. Abby
is looking forward to this as a thrilling opportunity (most of us would
consider it to be terrifying!) to participate in the nationwide Shatterproof
Challenge. The Challenge will raise
awareness and funds for Shatterproof, a 501(c) organization devoted to ending
the stigma of addiction; providing families with critical information and
support; bringing evidence-based approaches to bear on prevention, treatment
and recovery; and changing public policy.
Shatterproof has an impressive list of board advisors & partner
organizations (including the Clinton Foundation, Marriott International, and
the National Hockey League).
Read More......
Happy Mother's Day
Posted by:Jenn--Saturday, May 10, 2014
In whatever way you can, no matter how difficult your family's situation may be right now, try to find a way to celebrate your love of life and of your family!! (You owe it to yourself.)
Read More......
Why Mothers Cry
Posted by:Jenn--Monday, May 05, 2014
"Why are you crying?" he asked his Mom.
"Because I am a mother," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom hugged him and said, "You never will."
Later, the little boy asked his father
why mother cried for no reason.
"All mothers cry for no reason"
was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man
still wondering why mothers cry.
So he finally asked God,
"God, why do mothers cry so easily?"
God said, "You see son,
when I made mothers, they had to be special.
I made their shoulders strong enough
to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave them an inner strength to
endure childbirth and the rejection
that many times comes from their children.
I gave them a hardiness that allows
them to keep going on when everyone else gives up,
and to take care of their families through sickness
and fatigue without complaining.
I gave them the sensitivity to love their
children under all circumstances,
even when their child has hurt them very badly.
This same sensitivity helps them to
make a child's boo-boo feel better,
and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears.
I gave them a tear to shed,
It's theirs exclusively to use whenever it is needed.
It is their only weakness.
It is a tear for mankind."
Author
Unknown
Read More......
One of our PSST dads shared the following at a recent PSST meeting:
Over the years, most men accumulate a lot of tools
in their toolboxes. It seems like you
can never have too many tools for doing work around the house. Before PSST, I had only one tool in my
toolbox for dealing with my child’s addiction.
It was a hammer. I used that
hammer for everything. With PSST, I now
have many tools in my toolbox, and I am better-prepared to deal with the
challenges that life sends my way.
Add to your toolbox – come to a
PSST meeting to share and learn, or read some of the role-plays or articles on
this blog. Help to save your child’s
life, and perhaps save your own life in the process!
Read More......
Power
of Intention, Wisdom & Hope
You are invited to attend an evening of presentations, specifically
designed to educate and support parents (and other family members) who are dealing with the challenges of adolescent drug and alcohol abuse.
Sponsored by the Pittsburgh-based Little Wings of Hope charitable
organization, this event features speakers from Caron Treatment Centers,
Gateway Rehabilitation Center, Little Wings of Hope Foundation, and Parent
Survival Skills Training (PSST). Topics
include: Recognizing the Face of Addiction, Signs & Symptoms, Prevention, Tips
for Parents, and Treatment Options.
Lloyd Woodward and our 2013 PSST Parents of the Year (“Jim &
Cheryl”) are among the presenters at this event!
Date: Tuesday, April
29, 2014
Time: 7:00 pm - 9:00
pm
Location: St. Elizabeth
Ann Seton Church Hall, 330 3rd Avenue, Carnegie, PA
Notes: Parking is
available, and light refreshments will be provided.
If you plan to attend, click here
to go to the Little Wings of Hope website, where you will find the Registration
Link.
Read More......
The FDA recently approved a
new opioid pain medication called Zohydro ER,
which is intended for patients dealing with chronic pain. It is the first prescription
narcotic that provides a pure dose of hydrocodone. Already there is controversy surrounding this
new medication, given its potential for abuse. For an article from Forbes.com about this
topic, click here. Below
are 2 quotes from the article that highlight some of the major issues fueling
the controversy.
Senator Joe Manchin of
West Virginia, who is fighting the FDA’s approval of this new drug, states:
“The prescription drug
epidemic has already damaged and destroyed the lives of far too many
individuals and families, and hydrocodone is one of the most abused substances
out there. The last thing we need is a drug on the market with 10 times the
hydrocodone of Vicodin and Lortab, with the capability of killing an individual
in just two tablets.”
Dr. Ethan Weiner shares
an opposing opinion, saying:
“Although these drugs
have significant abuse potential, that does not negate the fact that there are
significant numbers of people suffering chronic pain who cannot live a
functional – or even a remotely tolerable – life without them.
Read More......
As a short recap, Dylan was
released home in January from a placement (his fifth), soon after his
successful graduation from high school.
At home, he began to struggle. He
was hanging around with friends he shouldn’t have been seeing, ending up at
places different from his agreed-upon destinations, sneaking alcohol, becoming
verbally combative with his parents, and otherwise having difficulty dealing
with his newfound “freedom”. Within 5
weeks, he found himself back in court.
At court, Dylan was offered the opportunity to come home,
but instead he requested a halfway house.
Maybe he knew that he would not be successful at home. After working with Dylan for the past 3
years, the judge seems to have a pretty good handle on what’s right for Dylan,
and she ordered him to be placed at “Halfway House”.
Dylan has been at Halfway House
for 6 weeks now. We think of it as
supervised independent living. He is
doing his own laundry, keeping his room neat (what a concept!), and helping
with the cooking. He got a job right
away at a fast food restaurant. He was
worried that he wouldn’t like it (i.e., that it would be “uncool”), but instead
he finds that he is happy to be working, enjoying the people interactions, and
excited about the prospect of earning & saving money. He enjoys his
coworkers, and even says that almost all the customers are really nice.
His therapist at Halfway House
is fantastic, and the therapeutic environment seems to be stronger than at his other
placements. Intervention seems to focus
on more than just correcting the immediate behavior problem, but also on
discovering the underlying issues behind the behavior, and tackling those issues
head-on. For a teen who normally can
barely sit still, it’s amazing to learn that Dylan is now using meditation and
writing to deal with his anger/resentment issues. He also found an NA sponsor
that he seems to be happy with, and he’s attending a local church on Sundays. Naturally, his irritation with authority and difficulty
in abiding by rules has not disappeared, but he seems to be handling himself
better.
Usually when Dylan starts at a
new program, he is angry & uncommunicative with his parents, but not this
time. He has been calling us regularly, and we have visited him quite a
few times. He doesn’t think he wants any home passes, but he is
interested in having offsite passes to play soccer for the local travel team,
where we will watch and cheer on the team.
That’s good enough for now.
Much as we’d prefer that Dylan live at home, that option is only truly possible in some alternate
universe. It’s not what will work for
him right now. Dylan will be 18 years
old in another month, and we realize that he may never live at home again. Attending PSST meetings, where we have learned so much from the experts as well as other parents, has helped us to accept that reality. We are so grateful for the progress that Dylan has been making towards becoming independent, responsible, and free of drugs/alcohol. He has had a lot of crucial help and guidance along the way.
Brad & Jenn
Read More......
Click here and here to read the story of a father’s struggle to deal with his
son’s heroin addiction. Below are two
quotes from David Cooke’s story.
When it comes to addiction there are two victims, the addict who
battles with their disease and the families who struggle to understand, cope,
and live a normal life. Many parents
commit every ounce of love, time, energy in their quest to save, help, and cure
their child to the point where they often have so little left to give
themselves or to the point where it nearly destroys them. It is as if the
addiction has taken control over two sets of lives.
I learned how to build boundaries around [my son’s] addiction
and define a path for me that helped me live, celebrate, and enjoy my
live. Though I may never be a complete
peace with the threat, pain, and loss of his addiction all around me, I have
learned that his choices do not define me, his decisions cannot stop me, and
his addiction will not destroy me.
Read More......
Thanks to Mary Canary for sharing this article about talking with your teenager.
Psychologist and author Dr. James Dobson
tells parents that the teenage years can be filled with uncomfortable silences.
He writes, “the same kid who used to talk a mile a minute and ask a million
questions has now reduced his vocabulary to nine monosyllabic phrases- "I
dunno," "Maybe," "I forget," "Huh?"
"No!" "Nope," "Yeah," "Who--me?" and
"He did it." Giving teens non-threatening opportunities to talk is
the key to conversation.
Read the rest of this article by clicking here.
Read More......
The Butterfly
A
man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared in the cocoon.
The man sat and watched the butterfly
for several hours as it struggled
to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped
as if it couldn't go any further.
So
the man decided
to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped
off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily
but…
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body.
Neither happened.
In fact the
butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling
around.
It was never
able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand:
The
restricting cocoon
and the
struggle required by the butterfly
to get through the opening
was a way of
forcing the fluid from the body into the wings
so that it
would be ready for flight.
Life is full of struggles. These struggles hone our skills
and make us strong. If we enable someone else, we take away these challenges, and unknowingly
perpetuate codependency. We may be well-meaning, but our good intentions
rarely result in good outcomes.
It is painful to watch a loved one struggle
with drugs, alcohol, and/or life's daily challenges. However, it’s not our job
to solve their problems. It is their job. Our job is to stand by in support and love.
Thanks to "Mike & Carol" for recommending this story!
Read More......
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