The Link between Struggle & Codependency Posted by:Jenn--Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.

One day a small opening appeared in the cocoon.
The man sat and watched the butterfly 
for several hours as it struggled
to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped
as if it couldn't go any further.

So the man decided
to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped
off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily
but…
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge 
and expand enough to support the body.
Neither happened.

In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life

crawling around.

It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand:

The restricting cocoon

and the struggle required by the butterfly 
to get through the opening

was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings

so that it would be ready for flight.

Life is full of struggles.  These struggles hone our skills and make us strong. If we enable someone else, we take away these challenges, and unknowingly perpetuate codependency.  We may be well-meaning, but our good intentions rarely result in good outcomes. 

It is painful to watch a loved one struggle with drugs, alcohol, and/or life's daily challenges. However, it’s not our job to solve their problems.  It is their job. Our job is to stand by in support and love.

Thanks to "Mike & Carol" for recommending this story!