In whatever way you can, no matter how difficult your family's situation may be right now, try to find a way to celebrate your love of life and of your family!! (You owe it to yourself.)
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Why Mothers Cry
Posted by:Jenn--Monday, May 05, 2014
"Why are you crying?" he asked his Mom.
"Because I am a mother," she told him.
"Because I am a mother," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom hugged him and said, "You never will."
His Mom hugged him and said, "You never will."
Later, the little boy asked his father
why mother cried for no reason.
"All mothers cry for no reason"
was all his dad could say.
why mother cried for no reason.
"All mothers cry for no reason"
was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man
still wondering why mothers cry.
still wondering why mothers cry.
So he finally asked God,
"God, why do mothers cry so easily?"
God said, "You see son,
when I made mothers, they had to be special.
I made their shoulders strong enough
to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave them an inner strength to
endure childbirth and the rejection
that many times comes from their children.
endure childbirth and the rejection
that many times comes from their children.
I gave them a hardiness that allows
them to keep going on when everyone else gives up,
and to take care of their families through sickness
and fatigue without complaining.
them to keep going on when everyone else gives up,
and to take care of their families through sickness
and fatigue without complaining.
I gave them the sensitivity to love their
children under all circumstances,
even when their child has hurt them very badly.
children under all circumstances,
even when their child has hurt them very badly.
This same sensitivity helps them to
make a child's boo-boo feel better,
and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears.
make a child's boo-boo feel better,
and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears.
I gave them a tear to shed,
It's theirs exclusively to use whenever it is needed.
It's theirs exclusively to use whenever it is needed.
It is their only weakness.
It is a tear for mankind."
Author
Unknown
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Adding to your Toolbox
Posted by:Jenn--Sunday, April 27, 2014
Over the years, most men accumulate a lot of tools
in their toolboxes. It seems like you
can never have too many tools for doing work around the house. Before PSST, I had only one tool in my
toolbox for dealing with my child’s addiction.
It was a hammer. I used that
hammer for everything. With PSST, I now
have many tools in my toolbox, and I am better-prepared to deal with the
challenges that life sends my way.
Presentations on Addiction Prevention & Treatment - Tuesday, April 29
Posted by:Jenn--Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Power
of Intention, Wisdom & Hope
You are invited to attend an evening of presentations, specifically
designed to educate and support parents (and other family members) who are dealing with the challenges of adolescent drug and alcohol abuse.
Sponsored by the Pittsburgh-based Little Wings of Hope charitable
organization, this event features speakers from Caron Treatment Centers,
Gateway Rehabilitation Center, Little Wings of Hope Foundation, and Parent
Survival Skills Training (PSST). Topics
include: Recognizing the Face of Addiction, Signs & Symptoms, Prevention, Tips
for Parents, and Treatment Options.
Lloyd Woodward and our 2013 PSST Parents of the Year (“Jim &
Cheryl”) are among the presenters at this event!
Date: Tuesday, April
29, 2014
Time: 7:00 pm - 9:00
pm
Location: St. Elizabeth
Ann Seton Church Hall, 330 3rd Avenue, Carnegie, PA
Notes: Parking is
available, and light refreshments will be provided.
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Lives in the Balance
Posted by:Jenn--Monday, April 14, 2014
Senator Joe Manchin of
West Virginia, who is fighting the FDA’s approval of this new drug, states:
“The prescription drug
epidemic has already damaged and destroyed the lives of far too many
individuals and families, and hydrocodone is one of the most abused substances
out there. The last thing we need is a drug on the market with 10 times the
hydrocodone of Vicodin and Lortab, with the capability of killing an individual
in just two tablets.”
Dr. Ethan Weiner shares
an opposing opinion, saying:
“Although these drugs
have significant abuse potential, that does not negate the fact that there are
significant numbers of people suffering chronic pain who cannot live a
functional – or even a remotely tolerable – life without them.Read More......
Starting Over, One More Time
Posted by:Jenn--Friday, April 04, 2014
As a short recap, Dylan was
released home in January from a placement (his fifth), soon after his
successful graduation from high school.
At home, he began to struggle. He
was hanging around with friends he shouldn’t have been seeing, ending up at
places different from his agreed-upon destinations, sneaking alcohol, becoming
verbally combative with his parents, and otherwise having difficulty dealing
with his newfound “freedom”. Within 5
weeks, he found himself back in court.
Dylan has been at Halfway House
for 6 weeks now. We think of it as
supervised independent living. He is
doing his own laundry, keeping his room neat (what a concept!), and helping
with the cooking. He got a job right
away at a fast food restaurant. He was
worried that he wouldn’t like it (i.e., that it would be “uncool”), but instead
he finds that he is happy to be working, enjoying the people interactions, and
excited about the prospect of earning & saving money. He enjoys his
coworkers, and even says that almost all the customers are really nice.
His therapist at Halfway House
is fantastic, and the therapeutic environment seems to be stronger than at his other
placements. Intervention seems to focus
on more than just correcting the immediate behavior problem, but also on
discovering the underlying issues behind the behavior, and tackling those issues
head-on. For a teen who normally can
barely sit still, it’s amazing to learn that Dylan is now using meditation and
writing to deal with his anger/resentment issues. He also found an NA sponsor
that he seems to be happy with, and he’s attending a local church on Sundays. Naturally, his irritation with authority and difficulty
in abiding by rules has not disappeared, but he seems to be handling himself
better.
Usually when Dylan starts at a
new program, he is angry & uncommunicative with his parents, but not this
time. He has been calling us regularly, and we have visited him quite a
few times. He doesn’t think he wants any home passes, but he is
interested in having offsite passes to play soccer for the local travel team,
where we will watch and cheer on the team.
That’s good enough for now.
Much as we’d prefer that Dylan live at home, that option is only truly possible in some alternate
universe. It’s not what will work for
him right now. Dylan will be 18 years
old in another month, and we realize that he may never live at home again. Attending PSST meetings, where we have learned so much from the experts as well as other parents, has helped us to accept that reality. We are so grateful for the progress that Dylan has been making towards becoming independent, responsible, and free of drugs/alcohol. He has had a lot of crucial help and guidance along the way.
Brad & Jenn
Brad & Jenn
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Finding your own Path
Posted by:Jenn--Wednesday, April 02, 2014
When it comes to addiction there are two victims, the addict who
battles with their disease and the families who struggle to understand, cope,
and live a normal life. Many parents
commit every ounce of love, time, energy in their quest to save, help, and cure
their child to the point where they often have so little left to give
themselves or to the point where it nearly destroys them. It is as if the
addiction has taken control over two sets of lives.
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Bridging the Communication Gap with your Teen
Posted by:Jenn--Saturday, March 22, 2014
Thanks to Mary Canary for sharing this article about talking with your teenager.
Psychologist and author Dr. James Dobson
tells parents that the teenage years can be filled with uncomfortable silences.
He writes, “the same kid who used to talk a mile a minute and ask a million
questions has now reduced his vocabulary to nine monosyllabic phrases- "I
dunno," "Maybe," "I forget," "Huh?"
"No!" "Nope," "Yeah," "Who--me?" and
"He did it." Giving teens non-threatening opportunities to talk is
the key to conversation.
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The Link between Struggle & Codependency
Posted by:Jenn--Sunday, March 16, 2014
The Butterfly
A
man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared in the cocoon.
The man sat and watched the butterfly
for several hours as it struggled
to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped
as if it couldn't go any further.
The man sat and watched the butterfly
for several hours as it struggled
to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped
as if it couldn't go any further.
So
the man decided
to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped
off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily
but…
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body.
Neither happened.
to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped
off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily
but…
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body.
Neither happened.
In fact the
butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling
around.
It was never
able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand:
The
restricting cocoon
and the
struggle required by the butterfly
to get through the opening
to get through the opening
was a way of
forcing the fluid from the body into the wings
so that it
would be ready for flight.
Life is full of struggles. These struggles hone our skills
and make us strong. If we enable someone else, we take away these challenges, and unknowingly
perpetuate codependency. We may be well-meaning, but our good intentions
rarely result in good outcomes.
It is painful to watch a loved one struggle
with drugs, alcohol, and/or life's daily challenges. However, it’s not our job
to solve their problems. It is their job. Our job is to stand by in support and love.
Thanks to "Mike & Carol" for recommending this story!
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Thanks to "Mike & Carol" for recommending this story!
NEWS FLASH!!
Posted by:Jenn--Tuesday, March 11, 2014
There
will be a public meeting of the Allegheny County Drug and Alcohol Planning
Council on Wednesday, March 12 at 5:00 p.m. at the Allegheny County Human
Services Building, One Smithfield St, Pittsburgh, PA.
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Heroin Use is on the Rise
Posted by:Jenn--Saturday, March 08, 2014
Thanks to Mary Canary for sharing the link to a Diane Rehm radio show segment titled “What’s Behind The Sharp Rise In Heroin Use In The U.S.” By clicking here , you can either listen to the show or read the full transcript.
Below are some excerpts from the show’s transcript. In this show, host Diane Rehm interviews Dr. Wilson Compton (deputy director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse at the National Institutes of Health), Barry Meier (author of "Painkiller: A Wonder Drug's Trail of Addiction and Death"), and Jeff Deeney (a social worker and recovering heroin addict).
Addiction:
. . . heroin's one of the most addictive substances that we know. All substances that are abused can be addictive. It's remarkable that people don't think marijuana's addictive, and yet something like 9 percent of people that start smoking marijuana will end up being addicted to it. For heroin, it's more like about a quarter from the studies that we've seen so far.
. . . over time people develop a habit to that, so they enjoy it. And
they want to do it again. So what we find is that the behavior patterns get set
up over and over. People form memories, and their judgment changes. Their
decision making changes. So they make decisions that they never would've made
elsewhere in their lives because of the drug seeking and the pleasure that
these drugs start out with.
. . .
there are cross effects among the different substances. It's not at all
unusual for a heroin addict to also have problems with stimulants like cocaine
or amphetamine. And alcohol would be very typical. We also see tobacco use
being an extraordinarily common addiction among substance users. And it turns
out that the tobacco is what will kill an awful lot of them.
Overdose:
Well, unfortunately, heroin overdose
is remarkably easy, and it's unexpected. Very few people intentionally are
trying to kill themselves. So they use
either a larger quantity, or heroin may be mixed with other substances that can
make it more potent and more likely to stop your breathing. . . . Fortunately, if medical care can be
received at that time, there are potent blockers of opioid receptors . . . that
can reverse the effects within seconds and wake people up.
Relapse & Recovery:
But what happens when people relapse
are a number of factors. It can be stress in their lives, whether that's social
stress or emotional stress or physical stress. One of the main predictors of relapse though
is sampling the drug itself. So people think, oh, I'll just have one, and that
might be safe. But it turns out that even a very low dosage can prime the body
and prime the brain to want more and more.
"Wax Weed"
Posted by:Jenn--Saturday, February 22, 2014
Experts warn parents of a new form of marijuana that is 10 times more potent than your average marijuana. It’s called butane honey (or hash) oil, BHO, wax, or dab. It is extracted from the most powerful part of the marijuana plant, and can be made using common household items.
" . . . the amount of THC it contains makes it powerfully psychoactive. Although not life-threatening, a very large dose of BHO can lead to vomiting in addition to anxiety, paranoia and other psychological issues that can persist for days."
The process of extracting BHO is also very dangerous. " . . . fires and explosions caused by these makeshift labs have become so common that the U.S. Fire Administration issued a warning about . . . the BHO labs’ threat to public safety."
For more information, click here and here.
The End of a Chapter
Posted by:Jenn--Thursday, February 13, 2014
Dylan was home from placement for 31 days. Apparently that’s all he could take. Maybe he hasn’t changed (for the better) as much as we had thought. Maybe home was the wrong place for him to be, with the lure of old friends and old habits, and a strong desire to “make up for lost time” while he was in placement.
As soon as he came home, he started bumming
cigarettes from friends. He was hooked
immediately – the draw of nicotine was like a siren’s call. We were not overly surprised by that, and
thought at least it was better than weed or pills or alcohol.
Dylan met many of his Probation & home
contract conditions. He spent more time
at home than we expected, generally with one friend who we think was a
reasonably good influence. He quickly
found a part-time job at Hollister at the mall, although we were disappointed
at how slowly they were bringing him on board.
He did relaxing teen activities such as playing basketball at the rec
center, playing videogames, watching movies, texting and skyping his friends. He was also doing some more “grown-up”
activities, such as very basic cooking, doing his laundry, and doing some
chores around the house to earn some spending money. Surprisingly, he met curfew, except for the
night that he was 3 hours late, and we had to pick him up in Bridgeville under
questionable circumstances. On Super
Bowl Sunday, someone posted a video on his Facebook page, showing Dylan
drinking a shot at a friend’s house, which Dylan denied until his P.O. pointed
out that the video was public. The P.O.
placed him on 2 weeks’ house arrest.
At home, Dylan was generally busy, and did his
best to avoid or ignore us most of the time.
It was difficult to get his attention to talk about his future
plans. He became an increasingly
reluctant participant in family therapy.
He had occasional outbursts of anger when he didn’t get his way, at
times becoming verbally abusive as he had in his past. As the judge said at his hearing, he is a little
too old to be having temper tantrums.
We had a few nice moments as a family during
the past 31 days. There were some casual
conversations during car rides together, and once he even voluntarily joined us
for a movie we were watching at home. We
all shared in his high school graduation day – he was happy, and we have
smiling family photos to remember the day.
It was still a mixed-message day – during dinner after graduation, he
was distracted and impatient, and spent half of the time outside the restaurant
talking to friends on his phone.
For his father’s birthday, we enjoyed going
out to a movie and dinner. At home we sang
“happy birthday” as we shared our traditional birthday cake, a chocolate chip
cookie cake. We felt like a normal
family that day. The next day, Dylan turned
into a monster. He wanted to go to a high
school basketball game with his father, who said that he would take him, but
only if he left his cigarettes at home since tobacco products are not permitted
on school property. Dylan insisted that was
not acceptable to him, and it escalated from there. He became demanding, unreasonable,
threatening in posture and language, and verbally abusive. We called the police, who took Dylan to
Shuman.
We really thought that we could provide an
environment where Dylan could succeed.
We also thought that Dylan was committed to succeeding, and that he had
learned the skills to do that. What we
found is that we were working at it much harder than he was. Not that we were perfect, or as strong as we
would have liked to be.
As a wise PSST parent shared at one of our
meetings, change only takes place when the pain of remaining the same is
greater than the pain of the change.
We go back to court next week to find out the
next step in Dylan’s journey. We think
that supervised independent living will be best for him. As some other PSST families have learned,
sometimes our teens just cannot live at home.
At this sad juncture, as we clean up Dylan’s
room in preparation for the next step in his future, I find this quote
comforting:
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." ~ Seneca
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Mental Health, Addiction, & Free Will
Posted by:Jenn--Thursday, February 06, 2014
Thank you to Cheryl and Roxie for sending the following links:
Cheryl sent the link to this blog, provocatively titled "Phillip Seymour Hoffman did not have choice or free will and neither do you". When forwarding the link, Cheryl said, "This is one of the best written blogs on mental health & addiction I have ever read. It is lengthy but well worth the read and complete understanding that addicts need treatment without shame and blame."
Roxie’s
recommends Acrobaddict. Roxie writes, "With the
onslaught of the fentanyl-laced heroin-induced deaths in our region, and the
recent overdose of iconic actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman, an eye-opening book
has come to the forefront that helps non-users understand the addict and his
demons entitled Acrobaddict."
Roxie reviewed the book this way: "The title is
self-explanatory. The athletic author, acrobat Joe Putignano, pours out his
heart and soul to describe his descent into Hell and eventual rise to Heaven as
a recovering heroin addict. His strive for perfection led to him use heroin
obsessively, with the inability to function on a daily basis without the
substance. His sobriety eventually resulted in his career as a clean and rising
star of Cirque du Soleil. He briefly talks about his book on YouTube at the
link: Acrobaddict."
Read More......
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