It’s a Dog’s Life!
In setting up rules for Andy, Jim came up with the analogy to our two dogs Zoe & Gizmo. *
Zoe is older & wiser at 8 years of age with 100% freedom in the house and outdoors.
Gizmo is 1 ½ years old, caged in the house while we are away from home and on a leash when outside.
On several occasions Jim has asked Andy how he would like to live his life at home and out in the community with two simple options:
1) Like Zoe, if you obey ALL the rules and make good decisions in your life you will be rewarded with the benefits of freedom regarding social life, curfews, additional privileges, ...
2) Or you can be Gizmo, who has yet to obey all rules/commands set for him and is getting into trouble 24/7. He can’t be trusted alone or while under our watchful eye; therefore when we are away from the home he must be placed in a kennel (cage) to prevent negative behavior. When he is permitted to go out with his friends (Zoe & Finnegan) he must be kept on a leash at all times to keep from running away.
It’s up to Andy, or any other teen that is pushing the envelope of house & society rules.
How does your teen want to live their life under your roof?
*Editors note: names have been changed to protect Gizmo's privacy!
Cheryl, Jim, Andy, Zoe & Gizmo
3 comments:
I really enjoyed reading your post today, because it really makes a lot of sense. I have always been an animal lover, and a fan of Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer.
Two of my favorite quotes of his that can apply to us PSST parents are "We have to have exercise, discipline and affection everyday. Most of the time people share affection,affection,affection, and that creates frustration. In a powerful breed, that's going to lead him into agression. So exercise and disipline play a big role in blance"
"Denial, they say, stands for "Don't Even Notice I Am Lying".Human beings are the only animals happily lied to by our own minds about what is actually happening around us" Cesar Millan (Be The Pack Leader : Use Cesar's Way to Transform Your Dog and Your Life)
With Herman's new placement, I believe that he will be getting more of a balance with the exercise, discipline and affection departments.
These techniques have worked wonders with my 9 month old yellow lab "Shuman".As far as Herman, more will be revealed.
Signed
Jessica, Pack Leader
Cheryl, Jim, et al
What a great analogy! It hit the mark perfectly with me this morning, as my husband and I find ourselves yet again pondering the nagging question - how to help our son to understand why he is being "persecuted" with so many rules & restrictions.
As always, thanks for sharing your insights & stories with us.
(The picture of the 2 dogs is precious - it makes me want to run right out & get a dog!)
Good Post and welcome to the editor's club.
Sally and I were talking with Cisco last night. He was telling us how important it is for an addict to buy into their recovery. Their impulsive behavior (their addiction) overrides their fears and logic and makes them do a lot of things that they regret later.
Until they understand and accept that they are not being "punished" by being in a recovery program and attending recovery activities they are following their "Addictive Instincts".
Very few of our kids asked to be in a recovery program (if they did we probably would not know each other) and their instinct (addiction) tells them to reject it.
Even though it seems hopeless at times keeping them in these programs (and giving them clean time) will eventually override those instincts. Unfortunately this rarely happens in the short time frame we want it to.
It takes time and persistence and patience until our kids accept their recovery.
And don't forget we need to take time to heal ourselves as parents of addicts.
All of us at PSST are here to support anyone that needs help.
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