Advise from Families Anonymous Posted by:Sally--Sunday, March 20, 2011

HELPING

My role as helper is not to DO things for the person I am trying to help, but to BE things; not to try to control and change his actions, but through understanding and awareness, to change my reactions.

I will change my negatives to positives: my fear to faith, contempt for what he does to respect for the potential within him; hostility to understanding; and manipulation or over-protectiveness to release with love, not trying to make him fit a standard or image, but giving him an opportunity to pursue his own destiny, regardless of what his choice may be.

I will change my dominance to encouragement; panic to serenity; the inertia of despair tot he energy of my own personal growth; and self-justification to self-understanding.

SELF-PITY BLOCKS EFFECTIVE ACTION. The more I use my energy in mulling over the past with regret, or in trying to figure ways to escape a future that has yet to arrive. Projecting and image of the future and anxiously hovering over it, for fear that it will or it wont come true uses all of my energy and leaves me unable to live today.
YET living today is the only way to have a life.

I WILL HAVE NO THOUGHTS FOR THE FUTURE ACTIONS OF OTHERS, neither expecting them to be better or worse as time goes on, for in such expectations I am trying to create. I will love and let be.

ALL PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS CHANGING. If I try to judge them, I do so only on what I THINK I know of them, failing to realize that there is much I do not know. I will give others credit for attempting to progress and for having had many victories which are unknown.

I, TOO, AM ALWAYS CHANGING, and I can make that change a constructive one, If i am willing . I CAN CHANGE MYSELF.

Others , I can only love.

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