Thanks PSST - May 15 Meeting Summary Posted by:Rocco--Sunday, May 16, 2010

We had a good turnout for our PSST meeting Saturday at the Outreach Teen & Family Services location in Mt. Lebanon.
In addition to Val and Lloyd we had seven concerned parents.





We covered a variety of topics. Several of us have children that have re-entered inpatient treatment after relapsing. We had a mom who has made great strides in regaining control of her home, her two boys and her sanity. You can read about her transformation on the blog under “Max & Mel's Terrible Adventure Parts 1 & 2” as well as “The Prequel”.

There was a single mom (with a less than supportive ex-husband) working with her son through his recovery program.

We had a mom whose son has been clean and is living at home. Now she is going through the normal apprehension and worries about him going out with his friends.

There was a couple whose son just admitted to being addicted to Oxycodone. He asked for their help and is now in a treatment facility. They wanted to discuss the next steps in his treatment and some issues they have about his returning home.

Lastly “Rocco and Sally” were celebrating (truly) our one-year anniversary with PSST. Our son “Cisco” had just finished his first I.O.P. when he relapsed in January. He is now in a halfway house and is making a positive effort in his recovery. We are once again contemplating his return home (a bit more confident this time). It is hard for us to believe that only one year ago we were at the end of our resources emotionally, physically and financially. We have now regained control of our home and we are a family in recovery thanks to the support, advice and help from all of our friends at PSST.


We did a role play about a son coming home from an inpatient program. He is no longer a minor so we decided to present him with three choices.
One - He could agree to the terms of a Home Contract and live at home again. (see a link to sample Home Contract at the bottom of this post)
Two - He could go to live at a halfway house until we were all comfortable that he could follow our rules at home.
Three - He could get his own place and try to make it on his own.
(Number three is not recommended if you are dealing with a minor)


A couple of points from the role play:

- Discuss the contract firmly but calmly with the child while they are still in placement. Once they are home it will be too late to discuss.

- Make sure that the rules and the consequences are clearly understood.

- Your child will not like this and will probably be angry with you (that is okay). Agree with them that the rules will not be easy to follow.

- Do not drag out the conversation. Too often parents keep repeating and reiterating, hoping that they can convince their child they are right. More than likely this won’t happen. End the conversation and change the subject.

- Once they are home be sure to follow through with consequences if needed. Once you allow them to bend or break the terms of the contract, your power will quickly evaporate.


Finally at the request of a concerned mom we discussed suicide threats and suicide attempts. Both should always be taken very seriously.

The threat of suicide can be frightening enough to cause some parents to “walk on eggshells” and to give their child whatever they want.

PLEASE NOTE: Even if you feel that your child’s suicide threat is nothing more than a manipulative tactic you need to IMMEDIATELY take them to the nearest emergency room for an evaluation.

If they are truly suicidal they will get the help they need. If they were merely using this threat as a manipulative tactic to get their way, the trip to the E.R. will tend to discourage them from using this tactic in the future.

Never ignore or minimize a suicide threat or a suicide attempt.


Our thanks to OUTREACH TEEN AND FAMILY SERVICES for the use of their space.

The next Parent Survival Skills Training (PSST) meeting is Saturday June 5 from 9:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. at the Allegheny County Eastern Probation Office in Wilkinsburg.

C'mon in and join us. There is no cost or commitment.

Our meetings are open to all parents who are serious about making a difference in their children’s life.





With PSST there is still Hope.






Here is a link to a sample contract:

Home Contract from the Caron Foundation