What Does Help Look Like by Josie Morgano Community Relations/Assesor for Pyramid Health Care Posted by:Ken Sutton--Monday, May 07, 2007

The Alliance Against Highly Addictive Drugs held their last general meeting for the year on May 3 and introduced their theme for next year, "What Does Help Look Like?". Pyramid Healthcare sponsored the breakfast (thanks!) and when Josie Morgano ( Community Relations/Assessor M.A., M.S.Ed. 412-352-2772) took the podium I was expecting another overview of treatment figures and drug trends while I finished my eggs. But instead that magical moment happend when Josie got up, spoke from the heart, and challenged everyone in the room when she said..

When I thought about the question ‘What does help look like?’ my automatic response was ‘Well of course help looks like a professional….a counselor, a teacher, a probation officer, a doctor, a crisis worker…you get the point. But that answer seemed wholly insufficient and was viscerally unsettling to me. So I mused longer and here’s where I landed…..

When as professionals we’ve utilized every tool in our proverbial ‘bag of tricks’---therapeutic alliance, motivational interviewing, brief interventions, the stages of change- all with the hope of helping someone make some psychic movement towards positive change and seemingly we’ve gotten no where- what do we do? What does help look like then? Well I think help then looks like a heart, a human connection…. Any relationship expert will tell you that you can either be right or you can be in a relationship. When it comes to intervening in the life of an addict, we know we are right- they need help. But so often we get frustrated and we give up. We allow their resistance and denial to win by disconnecting from them when they put up a fight, when they pull away. We fail to build & maintain a relationship all because we know we are right. So today I want to encourage you to choose the relationship over being right. I don’t mean to minimize the consequences of addiction- I know that it can be deadly and swift interventions are often necessary. However, I believe that when as professionals we’ve done all we know to do with no apparent success, if we just stay connected one human being to another, if we stay engaged in that relationship as best we can- that very relationship can one day provide us with enough leverage to get that person the help that they need.

My final thought on this is in the form of a question. “If not you then who?” If we as perfectly trained professionals can’t, won’t, or don’t do this then who will? In my 14 years in social services I’ve come to believe in the power of one- one person can accomplish a lot with the right attitude, the right heart In so doing one person can impact a future for the better…

I would now like to read an article that depicts this point…

'You the One'

I'd passed the homeless addict with a good wish but nothing more. During a sleepless night, I realized something was wrong.

It was a bitterly cold December midnight in Washington, D.C. I was driving past North Capitol Street and Florida Avenue on my way home. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a figure slumped over on a bench at the bus stop. He was obviously homeless, with a sweater pulled over his head, clothes raggedy--totally out of it.

I said to myself, “What a shame”! and I kept on driving. Soon I was in my warm apartment and in my warm bed ready for sleep. However, something was wrong. No matter how I tried, I could not fall asleep. I tossed and tossed-- one o'clock, two o'clock, two fifteen, two thirty. I got out of bed, put my clothes on, and drove back to North Capitol and Florida.
There he was, still there, in that freezing weather. The closer I got to him, the more overpowering was the stench of his filthy clothes and unclean body.
“Do you want a bed?” I said
“Yeah, you the one?” he responded
I got him in the car and drove back to the apartment. I pulled the rollaway bed out of the closet and gave him some extra blankets because he was still shivering. He was 21 years old and his name was Jamal.
I went in my bedroom and immediately fell asleep. The next morning I called up two of my young friends who were recovering addicts and they spent the entire day with Jamal. His story was only too familiar: drinking and drugging for years and years. We bombarded him with question after question about his family, his upbringing, his education, his work history, his involvement with the law.
Jamal wanted help and we agreed to send him to a drug treatment center in Kentucky.
The following morning as I was driving Jamal to the Baltimore Airport, I could not get rid of a nagging thought in my mind. Something had been left unanswered.
"Jamal, is there something else about yourself that I should know?”
"Well, I guess so, Father. Remember when I said, ‘you the one’?

“Yeah, what was that all about?”
“ Well, just before you came up, I had already made up my mind I was going to commit suicide. God told me to wait because he was sending somebody to me. Well, you the one He sent. You the one."
My adrenaline began flowing rapidly. My heart began pounding wildly. Suppose I had remained lying in that bed? Would Jamal be alive this morning?
Six months later I flew down to that drug treatment center to see how Jamal was progressing. They told me to have a seat and they would have him brought in shortly.
Soon a young man approached me and said, “Hi, it’s good to see you.”
“Hello, I asked for Jamal."
“I’m Jamal."
I was stunned. I did not recognize the full-fledged 100-percent human being standing in front of me. His skin was clear, his hair neatly braided, his eyes sparkling, his smile captivating. Could this truly be that same miserable creature in rags that was on that bench that cold night? Jamal was alive-alive-alive!
My young brothers and sisters, Jamal was talking not just about me. “You the one!” “You the one!”
(By Father George Clements-Reprinted from "A Message for Young Catholics" from the Hope Journal, Summer 2001, with permission of the author.)