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Quote of the Week
"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way" ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
AA warns the alcoholic about the stinkin’ thinkin’ that
can lead a person to relapse. But this
type of negative self-talk is not reserved exclusively for alcoholics or drug addicts. Negative thought patterns can lead the
average person to self-pitying, self- destructive behaviors. How can we escape the downward spiral? Click here to read an excellent article about
how to tame your inner critic.
The author of the article suggests an approach to achieving Learned Optimism, "where you dispute and refuse to allow negative self-appraisals to influence your decisions and actions. You, instead, will come to expect positive outcomes."
What a
wonderful message to start us out on the right path for the new year!
Read More......
Feeling
stressed out as the holidays approach?
You haven’t finished buying gifts for your family, the store didn’t have
that perfect sweater in your spouse’s size, you dropped your phone and the
screen broke, the garbage disposal ground to a halt, you already got a credit
card bill that was twice what you were expecting, you just had a big fight with your mother-in-law, and the big project you are working on at work is giving you
major headaches . . . what else could go wrong?
First
of all, just breathe.
Now,
consider the following tips, from the Positivity Blog:
1. Slow
down.
2.
Appreciate the little things instead of focusing on perfection.
3.
Give a bit of joy to someone else.
4.
Focus on what is most valuable.
5.
Just accept how you feel right now.
For
more detail about these tips, please click here.
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Good News!!
Pittsburgh's Parkway East will now be OPEN during the weekend of Dec 4-6. The closure is now slated for the following weekend (to prepare for the Greenfield Bridge implosion).
It is likely that Penn DOT delayed the closure so that it would not interfere with our PSST annual holiday celebration at the Wilkinsburg location. Thank you, Penn DOT!
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The PSST 12th Anniversary / Holiday Celebration will be held on Saturday, Dec 5, 2015 at our Wilkinsburg meeting. Invitees include all PSST parents (both current attendees and alumni), in addition to all Wesley Spectrum therapists and Juvenile Probation staff who have been part of the PSST family.
Please put the date on your calendar, and plan to join us! Feel free to bring a food item to share - in the past, attendees have brought holiday goodies, pastries, a hot breakfast/brunch item, fruit, crackers & cheese, chips & dips, etc.
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Opioid Overdose Myths
Posted by:Jenn--Thursday, November 12, 2015
What
should you do when someone overdoses after using opioids (e.g. heroin)?
Sometimes figuring out what NOT to do can be as important as what TO do. Below
are a few of the common myths regarding opioid overdoses. For more myths, along with explanations of
why they are bad ideas, click here.
- Let them sleep it off? Never!
- Put them in the shower or bath?
No!
- Once they are breathing again, don't worry, they’ll be OK? No!
The same
website gives the following recommendations for what you SHOULD do if you think
that someone is overdosing on opioids.
- Call 911
- Give rescue breathing
- Give Narcan/naloxone, if available
- Never leave the person – wait for help
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Earlier this month, our own Allegheny County parents of the year were honored at the Juvenile Justice Week awards ceremony in Pittsburgh. It was heart-warming to see them accompanied by their son, as well as by several of their supportive family members.
Click on "Read more . . ." (below) to read their well-received speech and to see more photos from the event.
My name is Tracey
and this is Scott and we are here tonight to humbly accept the award for
Allegheny County parents of the year.
When Lloyd
Woodward, my son’s probation officer and head of the parenting group that we go
to - PSST (parent survival skills training) - told us on a conference call that
we had been nominated, we had polar opposite reactions. His was, Oh, no no no
no no and I said “Yes”!.
He said no,
because we are surrounded by a team of incredible people; Lloyd, Kathie, Abby,
Justin and every parent from our PSST group that laughed, cried, supported,
advised and empowered us from our first meeting until tonight.
I said, “yes”! because I am grateful for the
gifts that this group has given to us and what we have become thru this
program.
With their
help, we gained the knowledge, confidence and skills to enable us to learn
enough to help our son to become a man that he - and we - can be proud of.
When your
child chooses the wrong path, you feel many things: hopelessness, failure,
fear, anger and guilt. You look for help and if you are fortunate enough in an
unfortunate situation, you are paired with people that rally around you in a
way that takes some of those feelings away.
You are no
longer alone. If I had been lucky enough to meet these people earlier on, I
don’t feel that our situation would’ve spiraled so far out of control for my
family, because the knowledge that we have gained has changed us so much.
My son first
got into trouble at 15. If I knew then what I know now, he would still be
chained in my basement with just enough slack to do laundry. At that point, it
was just the two of us living together with his dad living close by. We were
newly divorced and couldn’t put our own feelings aside to help our son. We both
blamed each other for our “polar opposite” parenting styles. We were so wrong. Do you know how I now know that? Our son
continued to get into more trouble. It became more than “call an attorney”
trouble. It became “find a direct line to Jesus trouble”.
Wesley
Spectrum, Lloyd Woodward, Michael Santicola, and Judge Tranquili stepped, or
should I say, “jumped in”. That is when we started with meetings with Wesley
Spectrum and what led us to PSST.
Our son was
placed in Shuman (where he learned to value clothes that fit and shoes that
cover all of your feet). From there he went to Abraxas (where he learned that
whichever way you choose to run in any direction, you will get nowhere). And
then to Liberty Station (where he learned that maybe my mom’s cooking isn’t so
bad) to Glen Mills schools (where he learned that it can be beneficial to tuck
your shirt in and keep your pants pulled up). Please know that this is an
attempt at humor of what Jake has learned throughout his multiple placements.
You don’t take a tour from Shuman to Glen Mills without making more mistakes
though and without learning where you do not want to be.
Time will
tell for all of us. Is our son perfect yet? The answer is no. Are we? His
parents? Well, we are getting this award. J I do know that he continues to learn and so do
we, with every meeting, every text, and every email that we share with “Team
Jake”, as Kathie penned us at the very beginning. Team Jake consists of others
of whom I have to mention; my sister Pam, who has loved my son as her own since
he was born and throughout his time in facilities has provided him with
letters, love, support and enough books to fill a library. And my Mother Jean,
who has loved him so fiercely and who would never let me give up on my son.
I guess I
should also thank my son’s father for what he has become throughout these last
few years. He has shown a level of commitment and love to our son that I have
not seen duplicated. It took a lot of work to get us to this point
and I am lucky to have him as the one to have walked this tightrope with me and
as the father of my children.
I could not
have done this without the support of those 3 either.
If I may go
back, 5 minutes after that congratulatory call from Lloyd, I called my sister
Jennifer to tell her and of course I downplayed “parent of the year” because to
me that said that I had done an exemplary job at parenting and that could not
be further from the truth, but Jen, who is a social worker in Cleveland, said
to me, “Hey, it’s easy to parent a good kid.” And that said to me that
sometimes, you just need to do the best that you can with what has been given
to you and created by you, and to recognize when what you have previously done
that hasn’t worked and that has led to your situation needs to be fixed.
Hopefully, this is now the path that we are all on.
In closing,
an old African proverb states, “It takes a village to raise a child”. All of
you are my village and I am forever grateful.
Read More......
We’ve
been hearing from a number of people who cannot make it to Lloyd’s retirement
celebration this coming Saturday, but would like a way to send their personal
well-wishes to Lloyd. If anyone wants to write a note for me to print out
& include with a group card for Lloyd, please email to Jenn at psst.jenn.brad@gmail.com by noon on Friday,
Oct 16th.
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Lloyd is Retiring!
Posted by:Jenn--Monday, October 12, 2015
Even when you know a change has been coming for some time, somehow
it’s still a mini-shock when the change actually happens.
Lloyd has decided to retire, and this Saturday will be his
last PSST meeting (Greentree). We invite
all PSST parents, current & past, to come to our meeting on Saturday at 9am
to wish Lloyd our congratulations & best wishes in this new & exciting
stage of his life’s journey.
P.S. There will be
cake, of course!
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At Saturday's PSST meeting, Steve and Tammy (their blog names) were celebrated as the 2015 Parents of the Year. They will receive their award on Thursday, October 8 at the Allegheny County Awards Ceremony. The event starts at 6 p.m, and is held at the Family Court House, located at 550 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh (the Old Allegheny County Jail).
Although divorced, these parents have formed a team who strive to assume a non-enabling approach to parenting. They have attended Parent Survival Skills training regularly to improve parenting skills. Both have progressed with increased communication skills, consistent limit setting, and relationship building.
Both have participated in role-playing designed to help increase skills. Both parents have helped other parents in PSST to improve their parenting skills. Additionally, they have worked and significantly improved their relationship with their son through therapy provided by Wesley Spectrum.
Five months ago Tammy and Steve were proud that their son, after completing both an intensive placement program and a halfway house program, was receiving clean drug tests, doing well in a part-time job, and getting excellent reports from High School. It appeared that their son had turned the corner. Then, Tammy became aware that their son was still participating in serious criminal activity. Working together they confiscated illegal material, took pictures of the evidence and reported him to the Probation Department.
Their son is now undergoing additional treatment at a new placement facility. Both parents continue to work closely with the Probation Department concerning discharge planning and continued relationship building. Both are anxious to have their son returned home and believe that this time he has really turned the corner; however, both also remain cautious that cutting his treatment short now might interfere with the hoped outcome.
From all the PSST parents and professionals, we congratulate Steve and Tammy on a job well done. Although they still have an arduous road to travel with their son, the skills and commitment they have developed at PSST will help them continue to support their son's efforts while remaining strong and unenabling.
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Please join us on Saturday, October 3rd at our Eastern Probation Office in Wilkinsburg from 9 - 11 a.m. as we announce this year's Allegheny County Parent of the Year.
We all know that each and every one of the parents who regularly attend PSST are real-life Parents of the Year, but only one family can be officially recognized at the annual awards ceremony. The Parent of the Year is selected for their acts of bravery in addressing their child's drug use and/or criminal behavior, demonstrating non-enabling parenting skills, and for being a role model to other parents.
At the PSST meeting, there will be cake, of course, and a very special guest speaker who will talk about his experience in the justice system and his life in recovery. We hope all PSST parents, old and new, will be able to attend.
The official award will be given at the Family Court House, located at 550 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh (the Old Allegheny County Jail) on Thursday, October 8. The event starts at 6 p.m. (try to get there at 5:30) and runs about 2 hours. Please come if you can and support our PSST Parent of the Year and to hear their personal story.
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Our Son is in Jail
Posted by:Jenn--Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Narcotics Anonymous tells us that continued drug use is a
sure-fire path to institutions, jail, and/or death. Our son Dylan is continuing to follow that dangerous
journey.
After 4 years of spending a high percentage of his time in
juvenile placements, it appeared that Dylan was trying to turn his life
around. He expressed interest in going
to college. He spent 6 months in ¾
housing and accepted his 6-month clean tag with pride. Unfortunately his 2 separate attempts at college
failed, due to drugs (alcohol, marijuana) and poor choices for friends. And now, his most recent actions have landed
him in the county jail for assault and attempted robbery. We expect that he will serve some prison time
for these felony charges.
How are we reacting to Dylan’s actions?
After our initial shock, we were left with strong feelings of
disappointment and sadness that he would make such choices, choices that are so
completely foreign to our family’s values and beliefs. We are so grateful that no one was badly
injured or killed. We still love Dylan,
and will help him when he gets out of prison, but only if he commits himself to
making serious lifestyle changes.
Are we obsessing over what he did?
We refuse to drive ourselves crazy by obsessing over what he
did, why he did it, and how much time he will spend in prison. As one of our PSST parents said at a recent
meeting, we are not distancing ourselves from our son, but instead, we are
separating ourselves from his actions and his drama.
Did we post bail?
Dylan is
angry with us because we are not willing to post bail. The judge said
that he would require Dylan to live at home if he were out on bond, but if
Dylan keeps the same circle of friends, as well as his adventurous spirit and
lifestyle, it would put significant strain on our family. We know that following our rules just isn’t
part of Dylan’s current playbook. We believe that he would skip bail to avoid doing prison time (he ran away from juvenile placements twice), leaving us stuck with a huge bill.
Did we hire a lawyer?
After much
deliberation, and talking with many people in our extended support group, we
decided to hire a lawyer. The charges
against Dylan are serious felonies. A
public defender would probably do just fine, but we feel more comfortable with
a private lawyer of our own choice, who will keep our family’s best interests
in mind. We know that there will be consequences
for Dylan’s actions, but we’d like them to be as fair and reasonable as
possible.
Are we sorry that Dylan is in jail? Do we worry ourselves sick every night about
his safety?
No, instead we are grateful that he is safe, because at this
time in his life he is a danger to himself and to others. We know where he is. He is safer in jail than he was on the
streets. Dylan is fun-loving and
generous and intelligent, but he also thinks that he is street-smart and (of
course) invincible. He has no idea how
naïve and impressionable he really is.
Read More......
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