SUMMARY OF APRIL 2 PSST MEETING IN WILKINSBURG Posted by:Rocco--Wednesday, April 06, 2011

APRIL 2 PSST MEETING

Editor's Note: Please stay tuned. I apologize for the amount of time it has been taking to complete the summaries and to get them posted lately but hang in there with us and check back in for updates. We are getting to them as time allows - Thanks for your patience, Rocco

We had a great turnout Saturday for our PARENT SURVIVAL SKILLS TRAINING (PSST) Meeting on April 2, held at the Wilkinsburg location.

We had our PSST Pros Val, Lloyd and Rebecca from Allegheny County Juvenile Probation. Also joining us from Allegheny County Juvenile Probation was Kathleen. Thanks Kathleen, we always appreciate having the opportunity to hear from other professionals in the field.

The meeting was attended by 16 outstanding parents representing 13 families including one returning PSST Alumna also known as Ethel.


ANNOUNCEMENTS

Val explained that there are now a number of web sites where our teens can readily purchase fake (novelty) state or national I.D cards. These cards are very realistic including lamination and holograms.

WEB WATCH: The sellers, of course, put their worthless disclaimers on their sites such as:

“You hereby represent and warrant that: a. You are at least eighteen (18) years of age; b. You understand and acknowledge that the Novelty ID(s) are intended to be used solely for entertainment purposes and are not intended or designed to be used as, or represented to be, evidence of your identity, likeness or age; and c. You will not use the Novelty ID(s) (1) for any unlawful or illegal purpose or in connection with or in furtherance of any unlawful or illegal activity; (2) in violation of any applicable law or regulation…”

There is even one web site that has the audacity to warn potential clients:

“Never pay for your ID cards to companies that only accept cash. Companies that also accept credit card through a secure site is the only companies are safe way to pay.”

So while you are checking your teens for drugs and paraphernalia be sure to keep an eye out for fake I.D. cards.

Val also told us that the sale of stimulants being sold as bath salts have been increasing in our area. Like K-2 and other artificial marijuana products these products are promoted as bath salts and by using weasel words like “not for human consumption” to get around laws and regulations.

Likewise the manufacturers of K-2 and other artificial marijuana products keep on altering the ingredients in their products to skirt laws and regulations as soon as they are passed. She said that just one local hospital reported eight patients admitted due to severe side effects caused by the use of K-2 in one week.

Rocco reminds any parents out there that would like some additional assistance and counseling on parenting an adolescent addict; please feel free to join us at the Families Anonymous Meeting every Tuesday night from 6:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. at:

Gateway Rehab, 5818 Forbes Ave, 2nd Floor, Pittsburgh, PA 15217

LET’S TALK - PSST MEETING PART 1

Ethel was nominated to chair the meeting and she handled the duties well. Each parent had a chance to give a brief summary of how their children are doing and how they are doing.

Ethel kicked off the meeting by explaining that she was there to provide a bit of hope for us parents and our children. A while back she had been looking for help for her daughter, Lucy, for almost two years. Finally she found PSST. Lucy is now clean, in recovery and is stationed in the Mediterranean in the U.S. Navy.

Click on “A Letter of Commendation from a Grateful Parent” to read about Ethel and Lucy’s story.

Ethel reminded everyone to keep coming to PSST meetings, detach with love, take your time [the process to get your teen to accept their recovery can take at least two years] and don’t be afraid to take some very uncomfortable steps to reach your goals.

She cautioned that there are no guarantees but with help of PSST she was able to save her daughter’s life. Lloyd remembered that just a few years ago Lucy was the teenage girl who would put cigarettes out in her palm to see if she was drunk enough.

As Lloyd noted in a previous post “No one could have done this except for you Ethel. It was risky as these things always are, but you knew that Lucy was at great risk no matter what path you chose. You considered the stakes and you were prepared to do whatever you had to do to try and reach Lucy...Out of all the people who went above and beyond to provide Lucy with the opportunity to change her life you are by far the one at the top of the list.

Thanks Ethel for coming back and sharing with the group. You give us all a glimmer of hope in our continuing struggles.

Violet took a pass at her turn – she was upset with her son Vinnie and said she would talk later.

Jessica has a son Herman who has just left his second inpatient recovery program and is in a halfway house before returning home. He was released too early from his first program. Jessica and her husband Roger instinctively knew that it was too early but all of the “experts” were telling them that Herman was ready to come home. [EDITOR'S NOTE: Be sure to read Jessica's comment following this post]

Without outside assistance and counseling parents of troubled teens are often overwhelmed by the programs themselves, a lack of information and by the nightmare health insurance maze we are run through. Most of us PSST parents have been there. It is a confused and hopeless feeling.

Since Jessica and Roger began attending PSST meetings and they have taken the power back and are capably handling their own recovery well and supporting Herman with his recovery. Herman is, like most of our teens, not enthusiastically embracing his recovery.

Never-the-less Jessica was not feeling comfortable. Her son’s actions are setting off her codependency triggers resulting in anxiety.

To put into PSSTerminology she was feeling WISSY – click on “Dr. Max explains it all to you: Diagnosis: W.I.S – What If Syndrome”

Jessica acknowledged that Roger seemed to be handling Herman’s actions and attitude a little better. Roger feels that it is Herman’s job to work his recovery, to stay clean, to take responsibility for his own life and if he stumbles he must take the consequences.

CONSEQUENCES - That word can set off “bells and whistles” even more so for parents than for our teens. We understand the consequences all too well, our teenagers don't always understand or even care about them. We need to detach from them, they need to understand them.


These are all issues that PSST Parents can relate to. This is why PSST is here; so that you can talk it over with other parents and professionals and so we can reach out to help you to get through your trepidations.

Jessica, you and Roger are doing the best that you can with your son. It is not always easy or comfortable but it is the correct thing to do. We are always here to support you.

Wilma’s son Bam-Bam has used a variety of drugs like Marijuana, K-2 Spice and alcohol. Like many of our teens he will not acknowledge that he has a problem yet. Bam Bam is definitely not doing what he needs to do for his recovery but he is doing his best to take the power in their home.

Wilma is being proactive and is showing him that she is not about to concede the power to him.

One of the first things to do to retain your power is to make regular random searches of their rooms. You do not need to wait until they are out for the day and you don't need a search warrant. One of our more innovative PSST moms invited the police to bring their drug sniffing dog to her home. It is your house and you have the right to know what is in it.

Wilma found Coricidin HPB Cold & Flu on a recent search. Fortunately the Cold & Flu formula does not contain Dextromethorphan (DMX). DMX is an active ingredient in Coricidin HPB Cough & Cold and is a commonly abused drug. As most of our drug abusing teens would, Bam Bam denied knowing how it got there.

Other bad signs for Bam Bam's recovery are that he has been bumped up to the partial program at his Outpatient Recovery Program for drug use, and a text message about he received asking him to meet at the local 7/11 to do a drug exchange. He, of course, denied any knowledge of what this was about also.

Wilma locked off his texting which resulted in Bam Bam punching walls and slamming doors.

Do not hesitate to block phone numbers, shut off texting, shut off the cell phone completely or confiscate their cell phones [Even if they purchased it with their own money]. Cell phones are Drug Paraphernalia. In addition to easy access to drugs, they provide quick access to Face Book, My Space and other internet web sites.

Finally for "PSST Show and Tell" Wilma brought in Bam Bam’s latest craft project – a 2 liter soda bottle with a socket taped to the top – can you say BONG? – he told her that he was making a whistle. Do you need anymore evidence that abusing drugs kind of dulls their minds?

Remember: Whatever you find (including text messages) should be kept as future evidence. Do not throw it away, destroy it, delete it or otherwise cover up for your teen. And be sure to either lock it in a secure place at home or at some place you can trust or as some of our PSST Parents have done take it to your local police to keep as evidence.

Thanks so much Wilma for being part of PSST. Like so many of us you are doing many things that are not comfortable in order to save your son’s life and to give him a chance for a decent future. Remember PSST is here for you.

WEB WATCH: There are web sites advising how to obtain and use DMX [Dextromethorphan / Coricidin HPB] - Slang terms to watch for include CCC, robo, red devils, DMX, dex, triple c, skittles & tussin.

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?

Cough syrup and cough and cold tablets or gel caps that are available without a prescription. Also, Dextromethorphan can be purchased in a powder form over the internet.

EFFECTS

The effects of dextromethorphan abuse vary with the amount taken. Common DXM effects can include confusion, dizziness, double or blurred vision, slurred speech, impaired physical coordination, abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, rapid heart beat, drowsiness, numbness of fingers and toes, and disorientation. DXM abusers describe different levels ranging from mild distortions of color and sound to visual hallucinations and "out-of-body," dissociative, sensations, and loss of motor control. Also be aware that many of these products contain other drugs that will damage the liver if used repeatedly.

Click on “Drugfree.org – Drug Info” for more information on DMX and other commonly abused drugs.

Brigitte and Francoise have a son Pierre who just returned home following 3 weeks in an inpatient recovery program. Because of his deliberate drug use and his attitude they filed charges to get him onto juvenile probation.

Pierre is doing well – he is back at school, he has cleared his phone of the “friends” that he used with and he has even cleaned his room. He is talking sincerely with his parents.

Brigitte and Francoise would like to thank all of the people at PSST. Pierre was a little surprised at all of the people that showed up at his hearing and wanted to know “Who are all of these people?”

We would like to thank you, Brigitte and Francoise, for being part of PSST. We hope that your son continues to do well in his recovery.

Jane has a son Elroy who is 18 and has used marijuana, alcohol and K-2. She has worked very hard to save her son Elroy from a life of addiction without much help or support from her husband George. George would rather pretend there are no problems, than to actually deal with them. Elroy got himself into the juvenile justice system and now in an inpatient recovery program. Elroy is still has some behavioral issues, like most of our teens, with rule bending.

Jane worries that if Elroy has trouble with the little rules now, how will he be able to deal with the big rules later.

Elroy has had a couple of 3 hour passes that have been less than satisfying due in no small part to George’s enabling. Jane is looking forward to the next 3 hour pass without George. She has made it clear to Elroy that she will not keep secrets.

Jane said that she has laid it on the line. She is exhausted and won’t go back to the way things used to be. She is living by her new motto “I will not go back to living like I used to.”

Elroy must learn to understand this and learn to follow the rules before he can return home.

This is a very empowering statement for parents and much better than lecturing to a teenager “You better do this and you better do that”…which all begins to sound to them like “Blah, blah, blah…”

“I am not going to live like this anymore.”

Thanks Lori, these are very powerful words for all of us to live by. Thanks for continuing to join us at our meetings.

Daisy has a 16 year old son Ozzie. He has been home from inpatient recovery, on an electronic monitor (i.e. ankle bracelet) now for about 3 weeks. He acted up enough a while back that Daisy had to call in the P.O. for a visit. This calmed Oz down for a brief period.

Now Ozzie is trying to pull out his old badgering routine – “Let’s follow mom around the house and repeat and repeat and repeat the same questions and see if I can get her to snap.”

Daisy is not taking the bait this time. No matter how much Ozzie acts out Daisy is not going to cry for him.

Ozzie: “You know mom, as soon as they cut this monitor off of me I am going to run.”
Daisy: [calmly] “Thanks for letting me know that Oz. I’ll be sure to share that with your P.O.”

Ozzie: “As soon as I am off of probation in November I am going to smoke!”
Daisy: [calmly] “Really Oz? That’s too bad. It is your life and your choice. I hope that you will figure out what is best for you.”

Ozzie “WHY ARE YOU KEEPING ME ON PROBATION?!”
Daisy: [calmly] “Because for now it is the best thing that I can do to keep you clean.”

These are not exact quotations. They are more like the gist of how far Daisy has come in the year since coming to PSST. She doesn’t have a perfect kid (none of us do) but he is at home and clean and slowly getting that Daisy has the power in the home and that he is not getting it back.

Daisy you are doing all of the right things. You are not doing it the easy way; you are doing it the PSST way.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Daisy – When you ready to pick up a good solid bedroom door I will personally be glad to install it for you.

Becky has a 16 year old son Syd who has been home from an inpatient recovery program for a week. Becky and Tom do not feel that Syd is in a good place in his recovery. To add a hardship to this he is also having trouble with his feelings about being adopted. There are currently a lot of adoptive parents attending PSST Meetings and we do discuss this regularly.

Becky and Tom are stepping up their actions starting with taking his cell phone away. Syd was in contact with all of the wrong people and was keeping a picture of a leaf for his phone’s wallpaper. These are all bad signs that have Becky and Tom rightly concerned.

In particular, Syd is talking with a friend who is praising him for the great job he is doing by keeping clean but saying that she cannot stop using. Syd, as many of our kids do, says that he is just trying to help her. Never-the-Less, even if he is telling the truth; he is way too early in his own recovery to help anyone with their recovery (especially someone who is not ready for it). If he stays in contact with this person he will relapse long before she will get into recovery.

To add to these issues their school district is dragging their feet about helping Becky and Tom find a alternate school for Syd. They have suggested that Syd might return to his regular high school. Becky and Tom feel that it would be a BIG MISTAKE to allow Syd back into the high school and are refusing to at this time. Editor’s Note: I AGREE with you two.

On the good side they know that if Syd can get a job that a lot of the problems may not go away but they will diminish. Syd really enjoys work and puts himself into his work as he showed while he was at Liberty Station. The busier he stays the easier it will be for Syd to keep clean.

They also have not been afraid to call in The P.O. as needed and The P.O. has been there for them. This is a result of them doing the “uncomfortable thing” and having their teen placed on juvenile probation. It becomes a major tool in your tool box to help you help your teen stay clean.

Becky you and Tom are doing a good job of healing your family and you are giving your son his best chances to stay clean. You two have become PSST Pros and PSST is here to help your family down the bumpy road to recovery.


TO BE CONTINUED