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"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way" ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.



Rocco and Sally Attend Juvenile Justice Week - Award Ceremony
Posted by:Sally--Thursday, October 07, 2010


After an adventurous and fast-paced ride to town Sally and her friends were glad to disembark out of Kathie T's Green Cadillac to meet up with Rocco and his extended family at the Awards Ceremony.

The evening was one that left a lasting impression on both Rocco and Sally.

It was a pleasure to meet the Juvenile Court Judges and in particular, Judge Dwayne Woodruff (yes, from the 70's Super Steelers!).

Judge Woodruff gave an inspirational speech about not letting anyone discourage you from reaching your goals.

Sally enjoyed seeing the young winners of the Essay Contest advance on stage for their awards.

Rocco agrees that it was encouraging to see youth that may have 'made a bad choice' think about their actions and put it down in writing.

Equally encouraging was the winner of the Dennis Maloney Award; Traci Stiger. This Registered Nurse worked very hard to develop a program to teach troubled youth to be EMT's. She spends many hours instructing them. We got to see her first graduate of the program.

THIS is the STUFF that MAKES a DIFFERENCE!

What an evening. Then "Parents of the Year", Sally and Rocco received a most beautiful plaque.

Below is Sally's acceptance speech followed by Rocco's acceptance speech.


SALLY'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

Thank you so very much for this award.
It strengthens me and encourages me to continue my fight against enabling.

A year and a half ago, our son was in a horrible addiction.
My husband and I tried everything but his addiction only got worse.
We felt helpless and very much alone but we kept on praying.

Our son had a car accident which got him involved with the juvenile court system and with a probation officer.

We discovered that getting into the system and having Val Ketter and Lloyd Woodward and Cathy Culbert and Kathie Tagmyer to help us was the answer to our prayers.

Our son is much better than he was at the time of the accident and continues to work on his recovery.

The Parent Survival Skills Training meetings empower me.

There is nothing better than talking with other parents who have the same issues and know first-hand what you are going through.

Each PSST parent has wisdom and sound advice and so much compassion. I wish each one of them could be honored with this award.

For addiction is strong, but together we are so much stronger.

If my mother-in-law were alive today, October 6, 2010... she would be celebrating her 90th birthday.

It is fitting that her son should receive this honor on her birthday for she trained him well.

He is an awesome father.

Thank you all. Thank you very much.


ROCCO'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

"By helping others succeed, we help ourselves succeed. Whatever good we give will complete the circle and will come back to us."

One time my company enrolled me in an intensive and comprehensive driving course so that I could transport company personnel. One of our first lessons was to learn to “un-learn” some of our driving skills.

This took some of us out of our comfort zone, especially when they explained Rule #1: “If you determine that there is no way to avoid crashing your vehicle then save yourself first and worry about your passengers later.”

We all felt a little uncomfortable with that. We all had that time-honored ideal instilled in us of sacrificing ourselves to keep others out of harm’s way.

But they made it clear that, as the driver, you are the most important person in that vehicle. You are responsible for keeping as much control of the vehicle as possible. If you are incapacitated, then your vehicle is out of control; so now all of your passengers are in extreme danger.

Looking back over the past few years we can see now that we needed to learn to “un-learn” some of our parenting skills and to try something a lot less comfortable. We, the parents, are responsible to keep control of our family. Otherwise our family is in extreme danger.

We attended our first Parent Survival Skills Training Meeting in early 2007. And quite frankly we were totally overwhelmed. Parents there were talking about their teens using not just marijuana and alcohol but crack cocaine and heroin. Their teens were stealing and dealing to support their habits and refusing therapy. They were being pulled into court and they were running away from treatment facilities.

We couldn’t picture our 15 year old son doing anything like that.

Sure his grades were falling fast, he was a discipline problem at school and at home and he was distancing himself from our family. We suspected that he had tried marijuana, probably some alcohol and we knew that at 15 he was able to pick-up packs of cigarettes whenever he wanted them.

But like so many enabling parents we couldn’t picture our son doing anything like that.

It's not like we stuck our heads in the sand. We accepted that he had problems. We found counselors, psychiatrists, tutors, and advocates to get advice on how to help him. We were on a first name basis with principles, vice-principles and school counselors. We started our run through the "rat-in-the-maze" world of health insurance for behavioral therapy. We spent 1000’s of dollars.

What we got in return from our son was "I don't care."

We didn't understand at the time that this is an addict’s most effective weapon against an unprepared parent but we did come to realize that he really meant it.

Our son, the addict, really didn’t care.

After two years of counseling and chaos, two overdoses and a couple of visits from the police we were not sure what options we had left. We were drained emotionally, mentally, physically and financially and, guess what, our son still didn't care.

In May 2009 we finally came back to attend our second PSST meeting for advice on how to get him whatever help that was left. Since that meeting we have, at least for now, saved our son's life and, just as importantly, we have saved our own lives, our marriage and brought order back into our home. As my wife recognized a while back “We always were good parents. We just weren’t good parents of a teenage addict.”

PSST pointed us in the right direction, helped us to get our addicted son into the system and to get the care that he needed. We got to meet other parents, just like us, who assured us that we were not crazy. They were not there to judge us, they were there to do what they could to help us. One defining moment for me came at our 2nd or 3rd meeting when another parent turned to my wife and said “See, you can laugh again.”

I want to give a heartfelt thank you to our PSST Pro’s; Val Ketter and Lloyd Woodward from the Allegheny County Probation Office and Cathy Culbert and Kathie Tagmyer from Wesley Spectrum. They continue to demonstrate to parents that the Allegheny County Juvenile Court and Probation System do work for us parents and for our children.

We would also like to extend our sincere appreciation to all of our fellow PSST Parents who have listened, encouraged and passed on their wisdom to us along with some serious hugs when needed.

PSST is a special place for parents - it allows us to strengthen ourselves mentally, spiritually and physically so that we can take back the power and control in our homes and our lives.

We would like to thank the Allegheny County Juvenile Court, and in particular Hearing Officer Robert Banos, who has worked with us in helping our son get the help he needs. Our son has achieved around 13 months of clean time in the last 16 months and is still working at it. He has also earned his G.E.D. Diploma. I even think he is starting to care.

We sincerely appreciate this recognition of our efforts to reach out to other parents and young addicts and to show them that there is help and that there is hope and that the Allegheny County Juvenile System really does work.

By helping them succeed, we are helping ourselves succeed. Thank you.


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