Stepping Down- written by Veronica Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Friday, September 04, 2009

I’ve stepped down, so that I could step up.

When my friends and colleagues hear that I’ve requested a demotion at work that’s what I tell them.

Recently my son Michael came back home after almost 10 months at Abraxas, where he fought against, struggled with, and ultimately completed the first leg on his journey toward recovery. I as well as his brother and sister, ages 14 and 16 are glad to have him home. He seems like a changed person. He is certainly neater, having finally learned how to make a bed! He also seems a lot quieter, gentler and certainly more focused. I’m sure I am seeing the real Michael but it is such a contrast to the mean, loud and disrespectful person we lived with before his being sent to placement that it’s easy to wonder if you really know this person at all.

Underneath all of these changes though, I feel an undercurrent of another set of emotions. Maybe fear? Restlessness? Boredom? I’m not sure and I don’t think even he can articulate the feelings there. I do know this; he needs me now more than he has ever needed me before. He needs me to support him. To make sure he gets to NA meetings. He needs me to make sure none of his old friends are hanging out at our house. He needs me to observe him for signs of a relapse. Basically he needs me to be a self appointed pain in the butt watchdog that wants him to succeed in his fight against himself. He just doesn’t know he needs me. I do.

I also know that my other kids are out there facing the same decisions Mike had to face. They have friends that use drugs or are being offered drugs themselves. Maybe they’ve tried them or are curious as to what all the fuss is about. They need me to observe and share all I am learning as I hold big brother’s hand. They need me too.

All of this was what prompted me to call my boss in for a sit down and the retail store I manage. She’s a District Manager of a large company so she is well aware that her coming to our stores is a major production. It means days of “fluffing” and dusting and “be on your toes, Stacy’s coming in”. So when I asked her to come she knew it was bad news. She walked in with that I know you’re about to give me your notice face and she was right. I had interviewed and found a replacement for myself to save her the trouble and I told her she’d love her and I was right.

I asked to step down from a full time salaried position to an hourly position working about 20 hours less a week than I did before. I told her everything that had gone on with my family in the past year and why I was making the decision to take on this new role as General Manager of my home. I told her I felt like my kids needed me more now than they ever did before and I couldn’t let them down. She agreed and told me I am an inspiration to her and no matter how long I need, when my family is ready I will always be able to move back up in our company.

Phew, I didn’t commit career suicide.

But, I will be with my family more. I will check homework assignments and make dinner more. I will look into their eyes when they tell me where they’ve been. I will make more PSST meetings and go to family night at Gateway. I will be the Ambassador of my children’s lives and there is nothing more valuable than that. So, I’m stepping down so that I can step up, as a parent.