I’ve stepped down, so that I could step up.
When my friends and colleagues hear that I’ve requested a demotion at work that’s what I tell them.
Recently my son Michael came back home after almost 10 months at Abraxas, where he fought against, struggled with, and ultimately completed the first leg on his journey toward recovery. I as well as his brother and sister, ages 14 and 16 are glad to have him home. He seems like a changed person. He is certainly neater, having finally learned how to make a bed! He also seems a lot quieter, gentler and certainly more focused. I’m sure I am seeing the real Michael but it is such a contrast to the mean, loud and disrespectful person we lived with before his being sent to placement that it’s easy to wonder if you really know this person at all.
Underneath all of these changes though, I feel an undercurrent of another set of emotions. Maybe fear? Restlessness? Boredom? I’m not sure and I don’t think even he can articulate the feelings there. I do know this; he needs me now more than he has ever needed me before. He needs me to support him. To make sure he gets to NA meetings. He needs me to make sure none of his old friends are hanging out at our house. He needs me to observe him for signs of a relapse. Basically he needs me to be a self appointed pain in the butt watchdog that wants him to succeed in his fight against himself. He just doesn’t know he needs me. I do.
I also know that my other kids are out there facing the same decisions Mike had to face. They have friends that use drugs or are being offered drugs themselves. Maybe they’ve tried them or are curious as to what all the fuss is about. They need me to observe and share all I am learning as I hold big brother’s hand. They need me too.
All of this was what prompted me to call my boss in for a sit down and the retail store I manage. She’s a District Manager of a large company so she is well aware that her coming to our stores is a major production. It means days of “fluffing” and dusting and “be on your toes, Stacy’s coming in”. So when I asked her to come she knew it was bad news. She walked in with that I know you’re about to give me your notice face and she was right. I had interviewed and found a replacement for myself to save her the trouble and I told her she’d love her and I was right.
I asked to step down from a full time salaried position to an hourly position working about 20 hours less a week than I did before. I told her everything that had gone on with my family in the past year and why I was making the decision to take on this new role as General Manager of my home. I told her I felt like my kids needed me more now than they ever did before and I couldn’t let them down. She agreed and told me I am an inspiration to her and no matter how long I need, when my family is ready I will always be able to move back up in our company.
Phew, I didn’t commit career suicide.
But, I will be with my family more. I will check homework assignments and make dinner more. I will look into their eyes when they tell me where they’ve been. I will make more PSST meetings and go to family night at Gateway. I will be the Ambassador of my children’s lives and there is nothing more valuable than that. So, I’m stepping down so that I can step up, as a parent.
Stepping Down- written by Veronica
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Friday, September 04, 2009
When Your Child Is Using Heroin: Help for Parents
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Kurash warns parents that, if their child is stealing from them, that child has an addiction which has progressed significantly. “At that point, you need help. That child is far gone, deeply involved in substance abuse. Parents are reluctant to press charges against their own child, but this is an opportunity to get the legal system involved and get help.” Click here to go to full article in Spring 2009 Guide To Good Health.
Although they may feel overwhelmed and uncertain, parents are not helpless and their actions can go a long way in supporting their child’s recovery. Kurash recommends taking away their driving privileges. “If your child is getting high, he or she should not be driving. Many parents will still let them drive and this is dangerous. They WILL drive high. Plus, a car gives them the means to go to get drugs. If your child has a car or is still driving yours, pay attention to the car’s mileage; kids will go far to get drugs, to the hubs where there is a lot of drug activity.”
If there are prescription drugs in the home, lock them up. Substance abuse is a progression that commmonly begins with prescription drugs and alcohol. Sedatives such as Xanax or painkillers like Vicodin and Percocet are popular and are present in many homes. “Kids know where to look and will use what’s available; they like the relaxing effect of these drugs. Oxycontin leads right to heroin; the effect is the same and heroin is actually less expensive,” Kurash says.
Taking away cell phones and cash are also helpful measures. “These actions may not completely prevent your child from using, but they place obstacles before them that make it more difficult for them. If your child has a job and has their own money, make them accountable for it. A heroin habit can become expensive. Click here to go to full article in Spring 2009 Guide To Good Health.
NOTE: Thanks to Nicole Kurash who we contacted prior to posting. No profit is expected from these links back to Guide To Good Health magazine.
Coffee House Nation goes to Steeler Game
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Monday, August 31, 2009
Special Thanks to The Steelers, and PSST parents Mary, Beth and Erv for making this outing and the tail-gating a big success. This is our third year going to a preseason Steeler Game. The seats were fantastic. I will post more pics at the CHN web page.
Type rest of the post here
Message from PSST parent.
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Sunday, August 30, 2009
Hi Lloyd,
For the last hour of so I have been educating myself by reading your PSST nevertheless website. WOW! The myths of addiction were very helpful and I reread the way addicts manipulate a parent. I really should have started educating myself years ago. But I will not fret about that but simply try to 'catch up' now.
Cisco tried the guilting on me tonight. When I explained that he should NOT have ANY contact with [a certain peer]. He told me that his addiction is partially my fault...
I had to tell him twice that It is his addiction and I am not to blame. Our argument was short lived and by the time we returned home he ate dinner with us and even asked if he could set the table.
I hope and pray every day that he beats this thing.
Sally.
(Footnote: A second useful posting about Myths of Addiction.) (Image from Creative Card Gold licensed software.)
Take the Marijuana and Health Risks Quiz
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Research shows that today’s pot is addictive and causes harm to developing brains and lungs. To learn more about the health risks associated with marijuana, click here. Click the picture to the right to take the quiz.
Parents- the antidrug website is loaded with useful information. Click here to go to the main site.
