Quote of the Week


"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way" ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.



Parents of the Year Speech
Posted by:Jenn--Saturday, October 12, 2013

Quote from Paul & Anne's Parents of the Year acceptance speech at the Allegheny County awards ceremony, October 2013:

Please remember this in regards to our child's addiction:
    * We didn't cause it.
    * We can't control it.
    * We can't cure it.
We can't want their sobriety more than they do.  When we do, it leads to enabling behavior that is ultimately detrimental to our child's well being.

The one thing Paul & I have learned from this journey is:  Even when we can't change a situation, we can change our response to it!

We still take it one day at a time, but believe us . . .  there is hope when all seems hopeless!


2013 Allegheny County Juvenile Court Parents of the Year (full speech)



  • This is sort of like winning the prettiest person award in an ugly contest. You wish that you weren't eligible to be considered, but yet proud to be selected.
  • Thank you for this recognition, it has been added and checked off on our bucket list!  Who knew!
  • We have met so many parents throughout our journey that are so much more deserving of this award than us, but thank you.
  • There isn't a parent here tonight who didn't have a different hope and dreams for their child, but life has a way of thrusting us into situations we never dreamed we would face.
  • We stand before you this evening with a message of hope,
          o  Because frankly, sometimes, hope is all we have.
          o  But hope needs help!  It needs the assistance of perseverance.


  • We must be an advocate for our children . . . be their voice when navigating through the system.

There are so many people that we'd like to thank for helping keep our son alive until he came to the realization that he had to change.  We call them, Team Cameron:

  • Sheri Magill, Act 53                              *  Lloyd Woodward
  • Kathie Tagmyer                                   *  Val Ketter
  • Justin Innocent, Wesley Spectrum / Juvenile Probation Officer
  • Elizabeth Bayley, Wesley Spectrum       *  Bob Banos
  • Judge Dwayne Woodruff                       *  Judge Borkowski

Just to give you an idea of the journey Team Cameron has traveled, here are the places we have all been to beginning in April 2008:
  • Western Psych                                      April-May 2008:
  • Pyramid Ridgeview                                May-July 2008:
  • LOTS OF OUTPATIENT REHAB AND COUNSELING
  • Shuman                                                July 5-August 2010:
  • Abraxas I                                              August 2010-February 2011:
  • Liberty Station                                       February-May 2011:
  • Shuman                                                May 2011:
  • Alpha House                                          May-August 2, 2011:
  • August 2-August 9: Ran from Alpha, relapsed
  • CLEAN DATE:            August 8, 2011
  • Allegheny County Jail                             August 9-September 2011:
  • Shuman                                                September 2011:
  • Abraxas LDP                                          September 2011-February 2012
  • Gateway YES                                         February-April 2012:
  • Liberty Station                                      April-June 2012:
  • Shuman                                               June 2012:
  • Rutter House                                        June-August 2012:
  • Shuman                                               August 2012:
  • First Step                                             August-September 2012:
  • Shuman                                               September 2012:
  • September 7, 2012:  Regained freedom after 2 years and 2 months of institutions
  • Pathways 3/4 House                              September-October 31, 2012:
  • Own Apartment in Mt. Lebanon              October 31-Present:

We came to the decision that for our son's best interest, he could never live with us again.  That was one of the most difficult decisions that we've ever been faced with.  But it was the right decision for our relationship with Cameron.

Additionally, we'd like to thank:
  • Jesse Yunker; who, without your guidance and friendship and empty bedroom!  You have provided a safe, comfortable and clean environment for Cameron so that we may rest without too much worry each night.
  • Cameron's brothers:  Jason, Brian & Aaron for welcoming him back into our family with your unconditional love and support and praise for where he is today.  Dad & I know how difficult the years were for YOU and we will NEVER forget your understanding of the decisions we made concerning your little brother.
  • And Amber and Ashlynn for being the BEST additions to our crazy family.
  • MOST IMPORTANTLY . . . PSST parents - we could not have gotten through this without your tears & laughter as we gave our updates and reached out for support, ideas or just HUGS when we were at the bottom of a very very deep hole.
Please remember this in regards to our child's addiction:
  • We didn't cause it.
  • We can't control it.
  • We can't cure it.

We can't want their sobriety more than they do.  When we do, it leads to enabling behavior that is ultimately detrimental to our child's well being.

The one thing Paul & I have learned from this journey is:  Even when we can't change a situation, we can change our response to it!

I'd like to read the Facebook post Cameron made immediately after hearing that Paul & I were chosen "Parents of the Year".

My mom just told me that her and my dad have been chosen Allegheny County Juvenile Court Parents of the Year.  I'm so happy they finally get the recognition they deserve.  Everybody tells me how great I'm doing and how far I've come, but people rarely realize the hell and embarrassment I put them and the rest of my family through.  I couldn't have accomplished everything I've done in the last 2 years without their love, support and annoying me enough to motivate myself to go do something with myself.  Love you mom and dad"

Words we never thought we'd ever hear from Cameron!

Ladies and gentlemen:  Please give a round of applause for our son, Cameron, who is now 26 months clean and successfully working the Narcotics Anonymous program.

We still take it one day at a time, but believe us . . . there is hope when all seems hopeless!
 

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a great speech! I especially love what Andy wrote on his FB page. That, in itself, is just about the best award you could ever receive. I knew he was in a lot of placements, but I had no idea it was THAT many! Just shows how how persevering you all are. Congratulations to two wonderful people I am glad to have gotten to know through PSST.
Brigitte

Unknown said...

Anne and Paul, I have thought of you and Cameron often over the years. Congratulations on your award! I know I was there at the beginning of the journey, but I am so glad to hear that none of you gave up, even when it seemed like it might be the only option. You certainly prove that when I tell parents "..this is only the beginning of a very long journey...", I truly want them to be prepared the best they can. I am so happy Cameron is working NA. Wishing you all the best, Sheri Magill, ACT 53 Coordinator

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Paul and Anne:
What an amazing speech. I can't think of two more dedicated and deserving parents than the two of you. Cameron is a blessed young man and what is most touching is that he can actually see that now. Your dedication and perseverance has paid off.
Please tell Cameron I said congratulations, too, because without his determination to have a better life, none of this would have been possible. So way to go Cameron. Keep up the good work!!!!! Kelly

Jenn said...

Great speech, both in content and delivery!

What you two have accomplished is nothing less than phenomenal. Your family is in such a good place right now, and contrast that with where you were when your son was on the evening news!

You've helped us all so much with your on-point advice at PSST meetings, your ability to demonstrate kind yet assertive behavior through role plays, and your reaching out to other families with compassion. Some of your advice has really stuck with me – Paul’s mantra that you should always feel safe in your own home, and Anne's reminder that many times we are the ONLY people our teens have to stand by them.

Congratulations on a well-deserved honor, and thank you for being such exemplary role models!

Jenn

Anonymous said...

A very well deserved award. The two of you epitomize what parents of the year should look like. You have done everything possible to provide Cameron with the supports and love that he would need to find himself and become clean. You are well aware of how hard the struggle is and truly are perfect examples of how PSST does empower parents to assist in making changes in your children's lives. Cameron is very lucky to have such loving and supportive parents. Continue with that and all of your support, encourage and advice with PSST.

On a side note, thank you again for the incredibly kind words, it really was my pleasure to have been able to work with your family.

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