If you Want to Send a Note . . . Posted by:Jenn--Wednesday, October 14, 2015

We’ve been hearing from a number of people who cannot make it to Lloyd’s retirement celebration this coming Saturday, but would like a way to send their personal well-wishes to Lloyd.  If anyone wants to write a note for me to print out & include with a group card for Lloyd, please email to Jenn at psst.jenn.brad@gmail.com by noon on Friday, Oct 16^th.

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Lloyd is Retiring! Posted by:Jenn--Monday, October 12, 2015

Even when you know a change has been coming for some time, somehow it’s still a mini-shock when the change actually happens.

Lloyd has decided to retire, and this Saturday will be his last PSST meeting (Greentree).  We invite all PSST parents, current & past, to come to our meeting on Saturday at 9am to wish Lloyd our congratulations & best wishes in this new & exciting stage of his life’s journey.

P.S.  There will be cake, of course!

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PSST Parent of The Year Celebration Posted by:Brigitte--Monday, October 05, 2015

At Saturday's PSST meeting, Steve and Tammy (their blog names) were celebrated as the 2015 Parents of the Year. They will receive their award on Thursday, October 8 at the Allegheny County Awards Ceremony. The event starts at 6 p.m, and is held at the Family Court House, located at 550 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh (the Old Allegheny County Jail).

Although divorced, these parents have formed a team who strive to assume a non-enabling approach to parenting. They have attended Parent Survival Skills training regularly to improve parenting skills. Both have progressed with increased communication skills, consistent limit setting, and relationship building.

Both have participated in role-playing designed to help increase skills. Both parents have helped other parents in PSST to improve their parenting skills. Additionally, they have worked and significantly improved their relationship with their son through therapy provided by Wesley Spectrum.

Five months ago Tammy and Steve were proud that their son, after completing both an intensive placement program and a halfway house program, was receiving clean drug tests, doing well in a part-time job, and getting excellent reports from High School. It appeared that their son had turned the corner. Then, Tammy became aware that their son was still participating in serious criminal activity. Working together they confiscated illegal material, took pictures of the evidence and reported him to the Probation Department.

Their son is now undergoing additional treatment at a new placement facility. Both parents continue to work closely with the Probation Department concerning discharge planning and continued relationship building. Both are anxious to have their son returned home and believe that this time he has really turned the corner; however, both also remain cautious that cutting his treatment short now might interfere with the hoped outcome.

From all the PSST parents and professionals, we congratulate Steve and Tammy on a job well done. Although they still have an arduous road to travel with their son, the skills and commitment they have developed at PSST will help them continue to support their son's efforts while remaining strong and unenabling.

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"Parent of the Year" Celebration Meeting Posted by:Brigitte--Monday, September 28, 2015

Please join us on Saturday, October 3rd at our Eastern Probation Office in Wilkinsburg from 9 - 11 a.m. as we announce this year's Allegheny County Parent of the Year. 

We all know that each and every one of the parents who regularly attend PSST are real-life Parents of the Year, but only one family can be officially recognized at the annual awards ceremony. The Parent of the Year is selected for their acts of bravery in addressing their child's drug use and/or criminal behavior, demonstrating non-enabling parenting skills, and for being a role model to other parents.

At the PSST meeting, there will be cake, of course, and a very special guest speaker who will talk about his experience in the justice system and his life in recovery. We hope all PSST parents, old and new, will be able to attend. 

The official award will be given at the Family Court House, located at 550 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh (the Old Allegheny County Jail) on Thursday, October 8. The event starts at 6 p.m. (try to get there at 5:30) and runs about 2 hours. Please come if you can and support our PSST Parent of the Year and to hear their personal story.

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Our Son is in Jail Posted by:Jenn--Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Narcotics Anonymous tells us that continued drug use is a sure-fire path to institutions, jail, and/or death.  Our son Dylan is continuing to follow that dangerous journey.

 

After 4 years of spending a high percentage of his time in juvenile placements, it appeared that Dylan was trying to turn his life around.  He expressed interest in going to college.  He spent 6 months in ¾ housing and accepted his 6-month clean tag with pride.  Unfortunately his 2 separate attempts at college failed, due to drugs (alcohol, marijuana) and poor choices for friends.  And now, his most recent actions have landed him in the county jail for assault and attempted robbery.  We expect that he will serve some prison time for these felony charges.

How are we reacting to Dylan’s actions? 

After our initial shock, we were left with strong feelings of disappointment and sadness that he would make such choices, choices that are so completely foreign to our family’s values and beliefs.  We are so grateful that no one was badly injured or killed.  We still love Dylan, and will help him when he gets out of prison, but only if he commits himself to making serious lifestyle changes.

 

Are we obsessing over what he did?
 

We refuse to drive ourselves crazy by obsessing over what he did, why he did it, and how much time he will spend in prison.  As one of our PSST parents said at a recent meeting, we are not distancing ourselves from our son, but instead, we are separating ourselves from his actions and his drama. 

Did we post bail? 

Dylan is angry with us because we are not willing to post bail.  The judge said that he would require Dylan to live at home if he were out on bond, but if Dylan keeps the same circle of friends, as well as his adventurous spirit and lifestyle, it would put significant strain on our family.  We know that following our rules just isn’t part of Dylan’s current playbook.  We believe that he would skip bail to avoid doing prison time (he ran away from juvenile placements twice), leaving us stuck with a huge bill. 

Did we hire a lawyer?

After much deliberation, and talking with many people in our extended support group, we decided to hire a lawyer.  The charges against Dylan are serious felonies.  A public defender would probably do just fine, but we feel more comfortable with a private lawyer of our own choice, who will keep our family’s best interests in mind.  We know that there will be consequences for Dylan’s actions, but we’d like them to be as fair and reasonable as possible.

Are we sorry that Dylan is in jail?  Do we worry ourselves sick every night about his safety? 

No, instead we are grateful that he is safe, because at this time in his life he is a danger to himself and to others.  We know where he is.  He is safer in jail than he was on the streets.  Dylan is fun-loving and generous and intelligent, but he also thinks that he is street-smart and (of course) invincible.  He has no idea how naïve and impressionable he really is.  

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And the Countdown Begins . . . Posted by:Jenn--Tuesday, September 22, 2015

As part of the annual Allegheny County Juvenile Probation awards ceremony scheduled for Thursday, October 8th, a new Parent(s) of the Year will be announced. Will it be a PSST parent this year?? 

The awards ceremony begins at 6pm, and lasts about 2 hours. It is held at the Family Court House, 550 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, PA (the Old Allegheny County Jail) on the second floor. In addition to various awards presentations, there will be a keynote speaker for the event. Speeches from the Parent(s) of the Year and the keynote speaker are always well worth the investment of time. Hope you can make it!

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