I'm in a state of mind that others cannot understand. I probably would have tossed it in the garbage can except the person who gave it to me is a dear friend who recently lost her 32 year old daughter. Maybe, she does know, a little bit, what it feels like to have Cisco snatched up and forever gone from view.
When I was particularly low and did not know what to do to console myself, I read the pamphlet. It contained the basic clinical study of bereavement; Shock and Disbelief, Anger, Guilt, and Sadness and Depression.
Rocco and I are going through all of those emotions, except depression. We are fighting hard to ward that one off. There was one verse that was extraordinarily helpful: "Don't try to get around the grief. Instead, have the courage to go into it. Let your heart break. That will bring healing."
Click hear to read a related post called "Dealing with O.D. and Death"
It was thoughtful of Kathie and Lloyd to plan an additional PSST meeting for this month. We sincerely thank them and all of you who showed up (and we understand those who wanted to but couldn't make it on short notice).
It takes a load of courage to face the death of one of our children. It was very helpful to tell our story to you and we had more to tell except that I could not bear the sad looks on your faces as we spoke. It reflected our sadness back at us. I guess I was trying to get around the grief instead of going through it.
For now we will take it one day at a time, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, knowing that you are all there beside us when we need a helping hand.
Sally
"Get rid of imagined guilt. You did the best you could at the time, all things considered. If you made mistakes, learn to accept that we are all imperfect. Only hindsight is 20-20. If you are convinced that you have real guilt, consider professional or spiritual counseling (with a competent and trustworthy counselor). If you believe in God a pastor can help you believe also in God's forgiveness." - Amy Hillyard Jensen
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