LISTENING Posted by:Ken Sutton--Sunday, November 30, 2008

"...I have a tendency to talk too much; which turns my daughter off.
But that night, I vowed I would keep my mouth shut, not judge her, criticize her, or inject my comments. Only when she asked for my opinion did I give it to her. I just listened."

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LISTENING

My daughter has been an addict since she was 13. She’s been in recovery now for 9 months, living away from home and doing very well.

One evening after not hearing from her for a while, she phoned me. She had been going through some tough times and wanted to come home and stay overnight. She wanted me to hold her and watch a move like the old times. So I picked her up and brought her home.

That night she talked, we cried, we laughed, and I held her. It was like giving birth to her all over again. I hadn’t felt so much pleasure with her in a long, long time.

I have a tendency to talk too much; which turns my daughter off. But that night, I vowed I would keep my mouth shut, not judge her, criticize her, or inject my comments. Only when she asked for my opinion did I give it to her. I just listened.

Sometimes listening can be more powerful than anything. It’s surprising how much better I got to know and understand my daughter. The gap that was beginning to form between us had gone away. BECAUSE I LISTENED.

It was a learning experience for me. There are times when it’s necessary to listen. That night was one of those times. Listening was the best help I could have given her.