Vigil of Hope Posted by:Ken Sutton--Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Bridge to Hope Family Support Group
“Vigil of Hope”
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
at
Kearns Spirituality Center
Kearns is sponsored by the Sisters of Divine Providence
9000 Babcock Boulevard, Allison Park, PA 15101
Message by Father Scott Seethaler
7:00 P.M.
Third Annual Day of Remembrance

Too many lives which held so much promise have been lost to drugs and alcohol. Too many families and friends have suffered these losses and our world is less rich because the flame of talent was extinguished long before its promise burned bright. The families, the parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins and friends feel their loss each day.

The families and friends who have suffered the loss of promise tell us that if it happened to them, it can happen to anyone. Drug and alcohol use and its attendant tragedies have touched so many Americans from all walks of life and from all backgrounds. Over the years, parents and friends have found individual ways to remember their loved ones; but now there is an event which brings people together to call attention to the extent and nature of the drug and alcohol epidemic. To support those who have suffered the loss of a loved one to drugs or alcohol, and to raise awareness about the terrible toll taken on families, friends and society, there will be a vigil of hope on Wednesday, June 11th at the Kearns Spirituality Center at 7:00 P.M.

This event is for all of us: families who have lost someone to drugs and alcohol and for those who care about all the promise and potential that was lost.

Please join us and Light a Candle…

-To remember those who have died from drugs & alcohol
-To shine a light of hope for tomorrow
-To share your light with other families who may be touched by drugs & alcohol.

Locally sponsored by:
The Bridge to Hope Family Support Group
For more information call
Suzanne @ 724/933-6248 or Diane @ 724/934-1953


For information about Bridge to Hope family support group meetings,
call Jean Wagner, Passavant Hospital Foundation, 412 367-6643

(This project was financed in part by a grant from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania,
Department of Community and Economic Development)


From Downtown Pittsburgh Area: Take 279 North and exit at Exit 11. Follow McKnight Road. Stay on McKnight Road for ten traffic lights (approximately 6 miles). At the tenth light, which intersects Peebles and McKnight Road, the McIntyre Square Shopping Center will be on your right. Go straight through this light and before the next light, bear to the right and follow the sign to Passavant Hospital. This is Babcock Blvd. and it leads to Kearns Spirituality Center. Follow Babcock Blvd. through the traffic light at Duncan Avenue. Pass the driveway to La Roche College on the right. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn right into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.

From Route 8: Look for the Green Belt signs. There will be a light onto Duncan Avenue. Traveling north, this will be on your left; traveling south, to your right. Turn onto Duncan Avenue and the Green Belt. At the first stop sign, go straight and continue to follow the Green belt. At the 5-way stop sign, turn right and stay on the Green Belt and Duncan Avenue. At the next light, go straight on Duncan Avenue – the Green Belt turns left. After about _ mile, you will be at the light of the intersection of Duncan Avenue and Babcock Blvd. Make a right turn. Pass the driveway to La Roche College on the right. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn right into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.

From Route 19 North and PA Turnpike Exit 28: Take Exit 28 and head toward Cranberry. Do not take Exit 10 to Pittsburgh. Upon exiting 28, immediately get into left lane for Route 19/Cranberry/South. Go left at light and stay on Route 19 South for (7 miles). Take the right ramp to McKnight Road (Truck Route19), and exit off Route 19. At the fourth traffic light, move into the left turning lane, and turn left onto Cumberland Road. Cross over McKnight Road and continue down Cumberland. At the bottom of a hill, you will come to the Babcock Boulevard/Cumberland intersection. At the light, turn right onto Babcock Blvd. You will see the Provincial House and a pond on the left. At this time, move into the center turning lane. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn left into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.

From Route 79: Take Mt. Nebo Road Exit 68. Turn right at end of ramp, and follow Mt. Nebo Road and the Yellow Belt. At the traffic light (8/10th of mile), continue going straight. At the next light (1.7 miles) turn left onto Arndt Road. At the top of Arndt (2.5 miles), turn left. You will still be on the Yellow Belt. At the four-way stop sign (3.8 miles), go straight onto Ingomar Heights-Ingomar Road. At the three-way stop sign at Highland (4.9 miles), go straight. At the traffic light at Harmony Road (5.2 miles) go straight. At traffic light at Route 19 (6.2 miles) go straight. At the Y in the road, (6.6 miles), go right onto ramp to Truck South 19, also known as McKnight Road. (You are now leaving the Yellow Belt.) At the next traffic light (7.2 miles), continue to go straight, but get into the left lane. At the next traffic light (7.5 miles- McKnight Road and Cumberland) turn left onto Cumberland Rd. At the bottom of a hill, you will come to the Babcock Boulevard/Cumberland intersection. At the light, turn right onto Babcock Blvd. You will see the Provincial House and a pond on the left. At this time, move into the center turning lane. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn left into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.

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Three Pictures from the Pirate Home Opener Posted by:Ken Sutton--Sunday, April 13, 2008

I am not really a baseball fan but last Monday was so beautiful, and I had a little time, so I thought I would head down to the game and maybe take a few pictures.

I was struck by two things.

The beauty of the city


and the . . .



. . .amount of alcohol that is involved in a baseball game on a Monday afternoon.




There were several trashcans like this outside the stadium at the point where you can no longer take a drink into the game. It was a reminder to me the challenges our kids face every day.

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Giving Consequences Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I asked some teens for help. Here's what a group of teenagers said about what they hated most about getting consequences.

1. Too much lecture along with the consequences. This was a major theme. These teens weren’t complaining so much about the consequences but about all the stuff they have to listen to when their parent dish out the consequences. The less said at consequence time the better. This is a case where less is more.

Of course, getting yelled at can be a part of the consequences, and sometimes it constitutes all of the consequences. However, when you yell at your teen it often has a counterproductive effect. Just say it and move on is the better course of action. "Getting yelled at" is not a good consequence because it causes resentments and anger. "Why is Billy so angry?" Maybe we don't have to look to far to see that answer.

2. They don't listen to me. The teens felt that parents make very little effort to hear what they are saying.

Some parents might be afraid that if they let their teen know that they "hear" what the teen is saying that it is the same as agreeing. It is not. Quite often the teen is saying that life is unfair, or that the parents are being unfair. But parents want to show that they are being fair. And Parents want to convince Billy that they are fair. They want Billy to admit that they are fair. Consequently, parents tend to be defensive about that whole "fair thing."

In reality, a teenager can accept the consequences much easier if he feels that the parents have listened. Also, the parent is free to apply the same consequences whether or not they have attempted an active listening response. Active listening responses are not necessarily agreeing that the teen is "right." Except that parents are agreeing that the teen feels that way. The parents are also agreeing that their teenagers has good reasons to feel the way he feels. Don't forget that everyone has good reasons to feel the way that they feel- or at least they appear to be good reasons at the time that the feelings are generated.

Active Listening can be the glue that keeps relationships going though these difficult times. It is often a way to get your teenager to do better at accepting the consequences. But it isn't just a way to get your teen to do better at accepting the consequences. More than that, it's a great way to improve your relationship with your teenager.

More in my next post about Active Listening skills. I will break it down. You feel ___ because ___ is the formula. In the next post we will look at ways to creatively say that.

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Let's Take Back 4/20 Posted by:Ken Sutton--Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Sometimes things just get to me. True story. I was hanging out with my son, he is watching Cops on G4, a national cable channel owned by Comcast that targets his demographic; 16-24, male, video game player, likes action/adventure. I am sure they would be surprised to find me in front of the set. Oh, and this is around 4 PM on a weekday, you will see why the time matters in a second.

The commercial break comes and the nice folks at G4 run an add for their “420 lineup” for several drug related movies and cartoons. The voice-over is the vintage Cheech and Chong druggie stereotype. And now I am mad. Mad, because this is just another version of “just marijuana” and it is being run on TV shows that target our kids right after school and major corporations are sponsoring it.



For those of you who may not know, April 20th, 4/20, is some kind of national pot smoking day. The lore says it comes from 420 being the police call for marijuana use but I don’t know. All the kids know though.

So I called my local cable company and complained. They were very nice but not interested in doing anything. I found the G4 web site and found they were owned by Comcast. Comcast has an email address so I told them my story. They said they didn’t know anything about G4, they carry a lot of channels and see you later. I wrote back and gave them the clip from the G4 website that says that Comcast is the majority owner of G4. Comcast said OK but we don’t control programming content!?

I am still mad so I went to the FCC web site and filed a complaint online. I felt better.

Maybe we should try to take back April 20th? What if parents stand up and say that on 4/20 everyone comes straight home from school and stays in for the evening because it is dangerous out? Could the schools increase their vigilance for one day and go on the alert for drug use, maybe cancel all after school activities that day? Would the press get involved? Maybe probation officers could drug screen every client on 4/21. Maybe we could call our local police and ask them to set up DUI points on 4/20 just like New Years Eve.

How long is it going to take until we are as indignant about a major corporation encouraging drug use as we are about cartoon images of Joe Camel?

Did I mention that the G4 420 advertisement ran between two Cops segments that involved people getting arrested for drug use!

OK, I feel better. Let’s discuss this at our next PSST meeting.

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