Summary of 4-14-07 Alliance Office PSST Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Saturday, April 14, 2007

Nine parents attended this meeting at the Alliance Office in the North Hills. Powerlessness was a huge topic. Our role-play can best be entitled "Let's all blame Mom." Most participated in some aspect of the role-play. I was not needed in this role-play, not even as a coach! The parents all did a terrific job. Each parent who played the Mom put the drama in a new light! Fantastic job. Special thanks to the parent who contributed this role-play and was willing to act it out with us. The following written role-play is inspired by what you all did...

Role-play: Ganging up on Mom.


Mom: Honey, the weed smoking and the alcohol abuse that you are doing is unacceptable. I hope with what happened at school, with the marijuana that they found in your school locker- I hope you can see that now.

Son: It's your fault! You are the one who got me busted.

Dad: Did you really do that? Did you call the school about our son and get him in trouble?

Mom: Yes.

Son: See, I told you Dad! She is a witch! There is no way you could do that to me- ooooooo- I am so pizzed at you for that you evil witch!

Dad: Son, just calm down now.

Son: I told you she did that! You said "no she wouldn't do that!"

Dad: C'mon now Son, I have to put up with her too you know. [winks at mother as though this joke is an inside one.]

Son: She's your wife, "DAD," and she wont' even listen to what YOU tell her.

Dad: [Looking at Mom] Why didn't you tell me you were thinking of calling the school?

Mom: Didn't think I needed to!

Dad: Well, you should have told me- I would have told you if I was thinking of doing something like that. I don't think we should ever call the school about stuff like that- now look at this mess!

Mom: You think this is my fault?

Dad: No, it's his fault for having the marijuana at school. But I just don't think you handled it right. I wish you wouldn't go off making phone calls like that!

Mom: OK, OK, OK, Let me get this straight- hold on now. [Looking back and forth from the Son to the Father. ] So, I called the school and told them that I thought that you were using drugs because I've been worried about that. You know we have talked about this. I asked them if they could advise me about where to go to get help for you. They decided to check your locker, and they found the Marijuana that you had put there?

Son: Yes, I PUT it there! OK Mom, does that float your boat? I PUT it there- you got me busted- I just hope your're happy! Dad and I both know you shouldn't have done that.

Dad: Settle down Son, lets don't all start yelling. I know you have a hard time getting along with you mother- sometimes it's hard for me too.

Dad: [Looking at Mom]- Can you see where you've screwed everything up now?

Mom: Do you think he put the marijuana in his locker because of me then?

Dad: Oh you're just too hard on the kid- You've always been too hard on him. I think that's probably why he feels that he has to smoke marijuana.

Son: It is why; I have to figure out a way to cope with you, don't I, you vicious witch.

Dad: Now now son...

Son: It's true. Hey Mom, want me to get your broomstick out of the closet so you can ride to a PTA meeting and tell em some more shyt about me?

Dad: Son, I don't appreciate how you're treating your mother.

Son: You don't?

Dad: No I do not! I have to deal with her all the time, dont' I, and you don't see me calling her names.

Mom: [Moving in closer to Dad] You often undermine me in front of our Son. I am trying to help him stop using drugs and you don't help at all; in fact, you pull the rug out from under me all the time with him. Never undermine me in front of our Son. If you want to tell me that you disagree with me, talk to me in private.

Dad: Oh my God, it must be great to be you! You just get to look down on everyone else don't you? It must be lonely way up on the white horse of yours. Well just ride off on it then, leave us alone. And bring me my bottle of whiskey over there before you ride off- this meeting is making me thirsty...

Son: Yep, that's what I been telling you Dad, you got to take something just to be able to handle the evil witch.

Pause

Mom: [Looking at Dad] I need to talk to you in private!

Dad: No! You can talk in front of our Son, because he needs to hear what you've got to say for your self, you know, for the rotten trick you pulled on him.

Mom: Ok, good point- maybe he does need to hear some of this.

Mom: [Looking at Son and moving closer] [Lowing her voice and speaking lower] Do not take drugs. Do not use alcohol. Never bring drugs home and never take drugs to school. Be ADVISED, that this witch will always get right off her broomstick and go to the phone to call school officials and police. I will not tolerate you smoking marijuana or abusing any other subtance and I will stop you by whatever means necessary...

Dad: [interrupting] You don't mean that you would pull that on him again do you? I told you - I don't think that is too good an idea!

Mom: [focusing on Son, not on Dad but she answers Dad's comment more effectively this way] Oh, for your information. HE [points at dad], can NOT protect you from me. This witch is going to patrol the home daily, and if you persist in bringing drugs into this house- I will see that you get help for this problem if you have to be marched off in handcuffs.

Dad: You can't say that!

Mom: [Still looking at Son] Nevertheless, never bring drugs into this house. Never bring drugs to school. Never take drugs! Yesterday, I contacted ACT 53. If you continue to refuse to see a therapist or participate in outpatient, then there will be a court date. I am filing a petition that will force you to have an assessment and treatment for your drug problem.

Son: Dad, stop her- she's crazy!

Dad: You're not going to keep making phone calls like that one, are you?

Mom: [Still looking at Son] Regardless, I will go through your room. I will go though your cell phone, and if you do not allow me to go through your cell phone, I will cancel the phone. I might just cancel it anyway...

Dad: What! that's not your phone- you can't cancel that!

Mom: [Still looking at Son even though it was Dad who spoke the last complaint.] Regardless, I will cancel the your phone if you continue to refuse to participate in outpatient. I will call outside this house for help in a New York Minute. For one thing, I understand that I will get no help from anyone else in this family.

Son: This is all your fault you witch! [rasing voice.]

Mom: Oh, yes, this IS something that I will take a little bit of credit for- but you have no idea how far I am willing to go to see that you do not do drugs.

Dad: Please stop this. [Wincing].

Mom: [Now looking at Dad, finally] Until you sit down with me alone and in private to discuss our Son's drug problem, I have nothing else to say to you about this.

Dad: You are not the boss of me!

Mom: Regardless, I have NOTHING to say to you. [Moving in closer as she says this, which seems to suggest that she has volumes to tell him, but just not right now!]

Dad: You haven't heard the last of this!

Mom: Nevertheless, I have nothing more for you until you are ready to sit down in private with me.

Mom: [Looking back at Son, who is starting to look worried, like he is afraid that she will go get that broomstick; he really did not expect mom to be this bold in front of Dad!] You won't believe this now but I will tell you anyway! I love you.

Son: Yeah right, you NEVER loved me! You don't love me now, not like Dad does; you just want to get me put away!

Mom: Nevertheless, it is because I love you that I will stop at nothing to see that you quit doing drugs and drinking alcohol.

Son: Dad drinks, why can't I smoke weed? Weed is better for you than alcohol. If I stop drinking, can I still smoke weed? Everyone knows weed isn't bad for you.

Mom: [Mom does not bite on that hook!] Regardless, it is illegal. Never smoke weed, never bring it into this house and never bring it to school. It is illegal and I will call for help again if I have to. Is that clear?

Son: YES! Leave me alone. I hate you! No one else's mother is as evil as you are! Why can't you be cool like other parents?

Mom: Nevertheless, never use drugs or alcohol.

Son: "Nevertheless- nevertheless, I HATE that word!

Mom: Regardless, never use drugs. Never have them at home or at school. [Mother gets up to leave, and walk away but she turns towards Dad when she hears him speak...]

Dad: Wait, I've got something else to say to you!

Mom: Really? I'd say you better make an appointment for that private meeting then! [Mom walks off, gets on her broom, revs the engine, and flys away into the sunset...]

Also, for estranged or divorced Parents visit this role-play http://nevertheless-psst.blogspot.com/2006/12/parent-vs-parent.html.