All too often, we are intimidated by our powerful, headstrong, deliberate teens. Sometimes we are afraid of causing a relapse in our teenager. While this is normal, it is not a very realistic fear. Mostly, however, we are afraid of upsetting our teenager.
As to the first fear- if our teenager is going to relapse he is probably going to relapse no matter we do or do not do. There are exceptions. Read the posting on minimizing resentments for example. Things like lecturing on and on, comparing teens to their siblings, arguing, and yelling certainly put pressure on teenagers that can make it more difficult for them to avoid a relapse. Confrontation and accountability, however does not necessarily do that. In fact, not having confrontation and accountability might set up a relapse even more.
As one parent put it in Parent Group on Saturday. "It's not just that I'm intimidated because I think he might relapse because I know I felt intimidated by him before he ever started abusing drugs." It's not rocket science to grasp how easy it is for parents to become intimidated. Our teenagers have temper tantrums. We hate that. We try with all of our might to avoid the dreaded temper tantrum.
When our teen flips out we go though intense feelings ourselves. We feel guilty that we have upset our teen. We feel powerless to do or say anything to stop the tantrum. In the past we have appeased our teenagers, just to get them to stop the temper tantrum. There in lies the fly in the ointment. By appeasing our teenager, we teach that having a temper tantrum is indeed an effective way to get good things. Maybe it will be the good thing that the teen desires or maybe it will be some other good thing that a parent uses to try to pacify the teen; either way something good comes out of a temper tantrum.
Let's remember also that attention is the most powerful reinforcement. Think about it. When a teenager has a temper tantrum he is usually guaranteed that he will receive a lot of attention. Everyone drops what they are doing and comes in to see what's going on. Everyone tries to find out what the problem is so that it can be remedied. By doing this fact finding and problem solving the adults give the teen a lot of attention. It is ironic that the teen is having the tantrum because he has learned that it is an effective way to get attention and other stuff. The fact finding and problem solving provides more attention so that the parents continue to reward the teen for the acting out behavior. How can we prevent this vicious cycle?
First, we have to accept that we are powerless to prevent temper tantrums, unless you count giving them everything they want whenever they want it. Obviously, that would not be a healthy thing.
Secondly, we need to let the teen know that it is OK to express anger and if necessary have a temper tantrum. We can tell them things like, "OK, get that out- that's right- you can get that out- go ahead yell, scream, do what you need to do."
Third, stay aware of how much attention you provide to your teenager during a temper tantrum. Once you realize that you are reinforcing behavior that you would rather extinguish, you can stop it. Say something to the effect of, "OK, get that out- that's right- you can get that out- go ahead yell, scream. But you know what? Take it to your bedroom so we don't have to hear it, OK? By letting the teen know that it is OK to have a temper tantrum you take the wind out of your teen's sail and when you tell him to take it to his bedroom you stop the reinforcement of the behavior. What if your teenager will not go to his bedroom? Go to yours until the behavior stops. If he pursues you into your bedroom you might have to ride it out with him and if so, do not respond and try to minimize eye contact. Never give the teen what he wants when he has a tantrum. Once he starts with the tantrum you can not give in to his demands- it's like negotiating with Terrorists. In the end it always fails. Your teen must learn that this behavior is not an effective way to get what he wants.
Fourth, remember that every temper tantrum has a silver lining. For example, a parent can agree that the teenager must be listening to what the parent says if he is getting angry. "Yes, you are right- exactly, I AM saying that you can not go out- that you can't have your friends in the house, that you will not have your cell phone and that you are grounded until further notice. If that is what is making you angry then you are exactly right- that is what I said and I meant it. Nothing that you do right now is going to change that. In fact, the more you carry on the worse it's probably going to be so just go to your room and carry on so that we don't all have to hear it. You will be responsible for anything you break."
Finding something to agree with your teenager about is often an effective way to communicate. In this case you can agree with him that he is angry because he heard you right! And in fact, you are saying THAT and MORE kind of thing.
What is recommended here is the parent attempt to reverse the dynamic that creates the vicious cycle. The vicious cycle is as follows:
1. Teen has temper tantrum.
2. Parents must do everything they can to calm down their teen.
3. Teen knows that parents can't stand it when he has a temper tantrum and that they will become increasingly more desperate to try and pacify him.
4. Teen continues to have temper tantrums so that he can have his own way or so that he can get what he wants, including increased attention from everyone.
Instead of trying desperately to stop your teen from having the tantrum, try telling him that it's OK to have the tantrum because of blah blah blah (insert active listening response here.) Tell him to get it out right now. Here then, is the new paradigm:
1. Teen has temper tantrum.
2. Parents give permission for teen to express anger and encourage him to "get it all out."
3. Parent tells teen to take it to his room or some other part of the house.
4. The teen gets nothing that he wants, including increased attention when he has a tantrum.
5. The teen learns that having tantrums is not an effective way to get what he wants and that his parents are not desperate to do anything to get him to stop. In fact, in his own room he is free to rant and rave. However, the real fun of it all is gone.
Fearless
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Sunday, May 11, 2008
Home Contract from Caron Foundation
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Tuesday, May 06, 2008
This contract represents another way to structure the home experience for the recovering teenager coming out of a drug rehab. Caron was happy to let us publish this here. You can learn more about Caron Foundation at http://www.caron.org/.
Caron Adolescent Treatment Center
Home Contract
Patient Name:_________________ Date:______________ Patient #:__________
Mother:_______________________ Step-Mother: ____________________________
Father: _______________________ Step-Father: ____________________________
Siblings: ______________________________________________________________
Siblings: ______________________________________________________________
This is a three-month Home Contract that is intended to provide structure, consistency and boundaries that any family needs at this time in recovery. It is between the patient and his or her family. It can be changed only when all who are involved are present and can agree on the changes.
Basic Rules
This section outlines the bottom line rules that are to be followed by all patients upon discharge.
1. Mutual respect between family members (includes Honesty, Openness and Willingness to listen to each other.)
2. Attendance is required for all aftercare appointments.
3. Other family members agree not to abuse chemicals (specifically parents)
4. Active and regular participation in a 12-Step Fellowship, finding a sponsor within 14 days and attending at least ___ meetings per week.
5. No new relationships
People, Places and Things
The next session outlines the People, Places and Things that the patient feels may be problematic for his/her early recovery. It also outlines some of the more supportive aspects of their environment.
People Who may NEGATIVELY influence recovery and/or attitudes are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
People who may be able to support recovery and healthy attitudes are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
Places where my recovery could be put in danger or negatively influenced are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
Places where I can gain support and positive direction are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
Things are attitudes, behaviors and patterns that effect recovery. The things I need to change are:
Behaviors: I will follow the following curfew times:
During the Week
· In the House by ________p.m.
· Wake up by _________ a.m.
On the Weekend
· In the house by __________p.m.
· Wake up by __________ a.m.
I will help out in the house by doing the following chores:
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
We will begin to change the patterns within our family by holding one family meeting per week at which time we will attempt to share openly and honestly. This is a time to confront attitudes, problems, share feelings and take family inventory.
Day _______________________________ Time ___________________
I will also be changing my patterns for when I do go out.
When I go out I will:
1. Make sure it is okay with my parents.
2. Let them know exactly Where I am going to be.
3. Let them know Who I am going to be with.
4. Let them know When I plan on getting back.
5. Call if my plans change at all while I am out.
6. Discuss any major upcoming events well in advance.
In an attempt to increase the level of accountability, the following consequences will occur when I fail to uphold this Home Contract. The first set of consequences is for non-chemical violations (such as doing chores, skipping out of responsibilities, etc.), the second set of consequences is for major violations, primarily chemical use but could include running away and other addictive behaviors.
When I fail to meet my basic responsibilities, I will accept the following consequences:
1. ____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________
4. ____________________________________________________________________
If I use chemicals, there may be two Scenarios. If I am able to be up front and honest about a relapse, I will call my sponsor, call my counselor, share my experience with my aftercare group and my family. I will also accept the following consequences:
1. ____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
If I use chemicals and need to be confronted about it, or if I continue to display addictive attitudes, avoidance and defiance, I will have a family session with my aftercare counselor and accept the following consequences:
1. ____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
I have helped write this contract and feel that I will be able to follow the guidelines that are written in it.
Patient Signature Parent Signature
Parent Signature Therapist Signature
Date
Read More......
Caron Adolescent Treatment Center
Home Contract
Patient Name:_________________ Date:______________ Patient #:__________
Mother:_______________________ Step-Mother: ____________________________
Father: _______________________ Step-Father: ____________________________
Siblings: ______________________________________________________________
Siblings: ______________________________________________________________
This is a three-month Home Contract that is intended to provide structure, consistency and boundaries that any family needs at this time in recovery. It is between the patient and his or her family. It can be changed only when all who are involved are present and can agree on the changes.
Basic Rules
This section outlines the bottom line rules that are to be followed by all patients upon discharge.
1. Mutual respect between family members (includes Honesty, Openness and Willingness to listen to each other.)
2. Attendance is required for all aftercare appointments.
3. Other family members agree not to abuse chemicals (specifically parents)
4. Active and regular participation in a 12-Step Fellowship, finding a sponsor within 14 days and attending at least ___ meetings per week.
5. No new relationships
People, Places and Things
The next session outlines the People, Places and Things that the patient feels may be problematic for his/her early recovery. It also outlines some of the more supportive aspects of their environment.
People Who may NEGATIVELY influence recovery and/or attitudes are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
People who may be able to support recovery and healthy attitudes are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
Places where my recovery could be put in danger or negatively influenced are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
Places where I can gain support and positive direction are:
1. ______________________ 6. _______________________ 11. _________________
2. ______________________ 7. _______________________ 12. _________________
3. ______________________ 8. _______________________ 13. _________________
4. ______________________ 9. _______________________ 14. _________________
5. ______________________10._______________________ 15. _________________
Things are attitudes, behaviors and patterns that effect recovery. The things I need to change are:
Behaviors: I will follow the following curfew times:
During the Week
· In the House by ________p.m.
· Wake up by _________ a.m.
On the Weekend
· In the house by __________p.m.
· Wake up by __________ a.m.
I will help out in the house by doing the following chores:
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
_________________________ ________ Daily _______Weekly _____ As Needed
We will begin to change the patterns within our family by holding one family meeting per week at which time we will attempt to share openly and honestly. This is a time to confront attitudes, problems, share feelings and take family inventory.
Day _______________________________ Time ___________________
I will also be changing my patterns for when I do go out.
When I go out I will:
1. Make sure it is okay with my parents.
2. Let them know exactly Where I am going to be.
3. Let them know Who I am going to be with.
4. Let them know When I plan on getting back.
5. Call if my plans change at all while I am out.
6. Discuss any major upcoming events well in advance.
In an attempt to increase the level of accountability, the following consequences will occur when I fail to uphold this Home Contract. The first set of consequences is for non-chemical violations (such as doing chores, skipping out of responsibilities, etc.), the second set of consequences is for major violations, primarily chemical use but could include running away and other addictive behaviors.
When I fail to meet my basic responsibilities, I will accept the following consequences:
1. ____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________
4. ____________________________________________________________________
If I use chemicals, there may be two Scenarios. If I am able to be up front and honest about a relapse, I will call my sponsor, call my counselor, share my experience with my aftercare group and my family. I will also accept the following consequences:
1. ____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
If I use chemicals and need to be confronted about it, or if I continue to display addictive attitudes, avoidance and defiance, I will have a family session with my aftercare counselor and accept the following consequences:
1. ____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
I have helped write this contract and feel that I will be able to follow the guidelines that are written in it.
Patient Signature Parent Signature
Parent Signature Therapist Signature
Date
If we continue to cause our teenagers to be deeply resentful, we might as well shoot ourselves in the head for all the good it does us.
Posted by:Lloyd Woodward--Thursday, May 01, 2008
After our meeting last Saturday I realized that this post needed to be rewritten. Thanks in part to the ideas from parents in group we now have seven ways to minimize resentment instead of three. If we continue to do things that cause our teenagers to be deeply resentful towards us, we might as well shoot ourselves in the head for all the good it does us in the end. No doubt, all resentment can not be avoided, but how do we minimize it?
1. Listen to your teenagers. I know that a lot of parents complain that their teens do not say much. Sometimes when teens do try to tell us something we immediately shut them down with our response. Instead, practice Active Listening Responses. It's not the only thing that you say- but it's what you can say before you say the stuff that you really want to say. The formulae is "You feel ____ because ____." Just try to repackage what they say and feed it back to them. If they nod their head and say something like "Yeah" then you got it. Now listen carefully because the next thing they say might be a little different. If they say, "I wouldn't put it that way" or "no" then try a different response. Continue until your teen seems to be finished. Now say what you were going to say first.
2. Don't lecture on and on. It's not getting through and it causes resentment. It also discourages teens from talking because who wants to hear all that? Remember, our teens really only hear our message if we take some action. "Walk softly and carry a big stick" is what President Roosevelt used to say; however, before you decide how big a stick, read #3.
3. When sanctioning, don't use a bigger stick than you need. Of course we never recommend corporal punishment and we think that it's never OK to strike your teenager with or without a stick. That is counterproductive and causes much resentment. However, just use enough force with a sanction to send a message. If the behavior continues then increase your force. Use enough of a sanction to get your teen back on track but don't over do it. Consider the crime. Make a sanction that is commensurate with the crime. Also, if you have to ground your teen- then you decide what activities they are allowed to attend while they are grounded. If your teen has planned and planned for the High School Prom, but now she is grounded for a non drug related behavior, then also depriving her of going to the prom might be overdoing it. Also, when you cause your teen to miss important events, the resentment can last for many years. Sometimes it is wise to allow your teen to attend 12-step meetings even if they are grounded (if you trust that they will actually go to one) and after school sports activities while they are grounded. Otherwise, as parents we might cut off their proverbial nose to spite their face!
4. Treat your children with respect: Don't call them names. Don't hit them. Don't talk down to them. Don't yell. Don't act as though they are the stupidest people you ever met. You can be tough parents without being disrespectful.
5. Don't abuse substances yourself: If you drink- stop. Your teenager has just come out of a drug rehabilitation. They will resent you if you continue to drink. It may not seem fair that you have to give up drinking when you are a fine upstanding citizen and after all you are not on probation. However, there is really no wiggle room on this one. If you continue to drink you will loose your teenager's respect and increase their resentment. If that seems awfully unfair check with whoever it was that originally told you to have kids. Ask them why they never explained that things like this could happen. It's always a roll of the dice when you decide to have children. The good news is that if your teenager stays in recovery, a lot of good things can come out it for both the teen and the parents.
6. Make sure to spend time with your teenager just building a relationship. Do things together. Find out what your teens are passionate about. Become interested in whatever that is, at least to the degree that you can converse about it. Do activities together as much as is possible. Even if it is taking in a movie- then do that. You might not be able to take up skateboarding, but you can read something about it on the Internet and you can go to watch your teen do it. Spend more time on activities or hanging out than you do holding them accountable. If you always seem to be dealing with a control issue when you are with your teen, then something is wrong. Try to add more time doing other things.
7. Use humor to deflect the tension. Often, self deprecating humor works best. When we can laugh at ourselves and allow our teens to get a chuckle at our expense, it is like money in the old perverbial minimizing resentment bank! I recall sitting next to a teen at a Hockey Game who apparently was holding a lot of resentment towards me. I had forgotten my camera. She had a camera. I suggested that she take a picture of our group for our club's blog. Her quick reply clued me in to just how the resentment that she felt was swiming just below the surface. I suddenly realized how difficult it must be for her to even be sitting near me at this event
Girl: [Said with a rude tone.]"Oh, do you think I'd want to take a picture of you with my camera? Think again Lloyd!"
I sat there kind of feeling stunned for a minute. I did not expect to get hit with this expression of resentment at this Hockey Game because I knew that this young lady loved to see the Penguins play. I thought that we could all put our feelings on hold for a night- like a temporary truce. However, I had forgotten that it is very difficult even for adults to put strong feelings like resentments on hold. Suddenly, I had idea. I tapped her on the shoulder.
Me: [with a dead serious affect] "You know what? I think you are completely wrong about wanting to take my picture with your camera."
1. Listen to your teenagers. I know that a lot of parents complain that their teens do not say much. Sometimes when teens do try to tell us something we immediately shut them down with our response. Instead, practice Active Listening Responses. It's not the only thing that you say- but it's what you can say before you say the stuff that you really want to say. The formulae is "You feel ____ because ____." Just try to repackage what they say and feed it back to them. If they nod their head and say something like "Yeah" then you got it. Now listen carefully because the next thing they say might be a little different. If they say, "I wouldn't put it that way" or "no" then try a different response. Continue until your teen seems to be finished. Now say what you were going to say first.
2. Don't lecture on and on. It's not getting through and it causes resentment. It also discourages teens from talking because who wants to hear all that? Remember, our teens really only hear our message if we take some action. "Walk softly and carry a big stick" is what President Roosevelt used to say; however, before you decide how big a stick, read #3.
3. When sanctioning, don't use a bigger stick than you need. Of course we never recommend corporal punishment and we think that it's never OK to strike your teenager with or without a stick. That is counterproductive and causes much resentment. However, just use enough force with a sanction to send a message. If the behavior continues then increase your force. Use enough of a sanction to get your teen back on track but don't over do it. Consider the crime. Make a sanction that is commensurate with the crime. Also, if you have to ground your teen- then you decide what activities they are allowed to attend while they are grounded. If your teen has planned and planned for the High School Prom, but now she is grounded for a non drug related behavior, then also depriving her of going to the prom might be overdoing it. Also, when you cause your teen to miss important events, the resentment can last for many years. Sometimes it is wise to allow your teen to attend 12-step meetings even if they are grounded (if you trust that they will actually go to one) and after school sports activities while they are grounded. Otherwise, as parents we might cut off their proverbial nose to spite their face!
4. Treat your children with respect: Don't call them names. Don't hit them. Don't talk down to them. Don't yell. Don't act as though they are the stupidest people you ever met. You can be tough parents without being disrespectful.
5. Don't abuse substances yourself: If you drink- stop. Your teenager has just come out of a drug rehabilitation. They will resent you if you continue to drink. It may not seem fair that you have to give up drinking when you are a fine upstanding citizen and after all you are not on probation. However, there is really no wiggle room on this one. If you continue to drink you will loose your teenager's respect and increase their resentment. If that seems awfully unfair check with whoever it was that originally told you to have kids. Ask them why they never explained that things like this could happen. It's always a roll of the dice when you decide to have children. The good news is that if your teenager stays in recovery, a lot of good things can come out it for both the teen and the parents.
6. Make sure to spend time with your teenager just building a relationship. Do things together. Find out what your teens are passionate about. Become interested in whatever that is, at least to the degree that you can converse about it. Do activities together as much as is possible. Even if it is taking in a movie- then do that. You might not be able to take up skateboarding, but you can read something about it on the Internet and you can go to watch your teen do it. Spend more time on activities or hanging out than you do holding them accountable. If you always seem to be dealing with a control issue when you are with your teen, then something is wrong. Try to add more time doing other things.
7. Use humor to deflect the tension. Often, self deprecating humor works best. When we can laugh at ourselves and allow our teens to get a chuckle at our expense, it is like money in the old perverbial minimizing resentment bank! I recall sitting next to a teen at a Hockey Game who apparently was holding a lot of resentment towards me. I had forgotten my camera. She had a camera. I suggested that she take a picture of our group for our club's blog. Her quick reply clued me in to just how the resentment that she felt was swiming just below the surface. I suddenly realized how difficult it must be for her to even be sitting near me at this event
Girl: [Said with a rude tone.]"Oh, do you think I'd want to take a picture of you with my camera? Think again Lloyd!"
I sat there kind of feeling stunned for a minute. I did not expect to get hit with this expression of resentment at this Hockey Game because I knew that this young lady loved to see the Penguins play. I thought that we could all put our feelings on hold for a night- like a temporary truce. However, I had forgotten that it is very difficult even for adults to put strong feelings like resentments on hold. Suddenly, I had idea. I tapped her on the shoulder.
Me: [with a dead serious affect] "You know what? I think you are completely wrong about wanting to take my picture with your camera."
Girl: "Oh is that right- well I doubt that I want your picture Lloyd, thanks anyway."
Me: "Yeah, actually, I think if you got a digital shot of me you could email to someplace on the Internet that will make it into a nice dart board."
She suddenly was laughing at that idea and not only agreed that it was a capitol idea, but she added:
Girl: "Yeah, better yet, I could have it made into a great punching bag!"
The tension was eased considerably as we both enjoyed the laugh.
Read More......
Vigil of Hope
Posted by:Ken Sutton--Wednesday, April 16, 2008
The Bridge to Hope Family Support Group
“Vigil of Hope”
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
at
Kearns Spirituality Center
Kearns is sponsored by the Sisters of Divine Providence
9000 Babcock Boulevard, Allison Park, PA 15101
Message by Father Scott Seethaler
7:00 P.M.
Third Annual Day of Remembrance
“Vigil of Hope”
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
at
Kearns Spirituality Center
Kearns is sponsored by the Sisters of Divine Providence
9000 Babcock Boulevard, Allison Park, PA 15101
Message by Father Scott Seethaler
7:00 P.M.
Third Annual Day of Remembrance
Too many lives which held so much promise have been lost to drugs and alcohol. Too many families and friends have suffered these losses and our world is less rich because the flame of talent was extinguished long before its promise burned bright. The families, the parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins and friends feel their loss each day.
The families and friends who have suffered the loss of promise tell us that if it happened to them, it can happen to anyone. Drug and alcohol use and its attendant tragedies have touched so many Americans from all walks of life and from all backgrounds. Over the years, parents and friends have found individual ways to remember their loved ones; but now there is an event which brings people together to call attention to the extent and nature of the drug and alcohol epidemic. To support those who have suffered the loss of a loved one to drugs or alcohol, and to raise awareness about the terrible toll taken on families, friends and society, there will be a vigil of hope on Wednesday, June 11th at the Kearns Spirituality Center at 7:00 P.M.
This event is for all of us: families who have lost someone to drugs and alcohol and for those who care about all the promise and potential that was lost.
Please join us and Light a Candle…
-To remember those who have died from drugs & alcohol
-To shine a light of hope for tomorrow
-To share your light with other families who may be touched by drugs & alcohol.
Locally sponsored by:
The Bridge to Hope Family Support Group
For more information call
Suzanne @ 724/933-6248 or Diane @ 724/934-1953
For information about Bridge to Hope family support group meetings,
call Jean Wagner, Passavant Hospital Foundation, 412 367-6643
(This project was financed in part by a grant from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania,
Department of Community and Economic Development)
From Downtown Pittsburgh Area: Take 279 North and exit at Exit 11. Follow McKnight Road. Stay on McKnight Road for ten traffic lights (approximately 6 miles). At the tenth light, which intersects Peebles and McKnight Road, the McIntyre Square Shopping Center will be on your right. Go straight through this light and before the next light, bear to the right and follow the sign to Passavant Hospital. This is Babcock Blvd. and it leads to Kearns Spirituality Center. Follow Babcock Blvd. through the traffic light at Duncan Avenue. Pass the driveway to La Roche College on the right. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn right into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.
From Route 8: Look for the Green Belt signs. There will be a light onto Duncan Avenue. Traveling north, this will be on your left; traveling south, to your right. Turn onto Duncan Avenue and the Green Belt. At the first stop sign, go straight and continue to follow the Green belt. At the 5-way stop sign, turn right and stay on the Green Belt and Duncan Avenue. At the next light, go straight on Duncan Avenue – the Green Belt turns left. After about _ mile, you will be at the light of the intersection of Duncan Avenue and Babcock Blvd. Make a right turn. Pass the driveway to La Roche College on the right. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn right into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.
From Route 19 North and PA Turnpike Exit 28: Take Exit 28 and head toward Cranberry. Do not take Exit 10 to Pittsburgh. Upon exiting 28, immediately get into left lane for Route 19/Cranberry/South. Go left at light and stay on Route 19 South for (7 miles). Take the right ramp to McKnight Road (Truck Route19), and exit off Route 19. At the fourth traffic light, move into the left turning lane, and turn left onto Cumberland Road. Cross over McKnight Road and continue down Cumberland. At the bottom of a hill, you will come to the Babcock Boulevard/Cumberland intersection. At the light, turn right onto Babcock Blvd. You will see the Provincial House and a pond on the left. At this time, move into the center turning lane. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn left into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.
From Route 79: Take Mt. Nebo Road Exit 68. Turn right at end of ramp, and follow Mt. Nebo Road and the Yellow Belt. At the traffic light (8/10th of mile), continue going straight. At the next light (1.7 miles) turn left onto Arndt Road. At the top of Arndt (2.5 miles), turn left. You will still be on the Yellow Belt. At the four-way stop sign (3.8 miles), go straight onto Ingomar Heights-Ingomar Road. At the three-way stop sign at Highland (4.9 miles), go straight. At the traffic light at Harmony Road (5.2 miles) go straight. At traffic light at Route 19 (6.2 miles) go straight. At the Y in the road, (6.6 miles), go right onto ramp to Truck South 19, also known as McKnight Road. (You are now leaving the Yellow Belt.) At the next traffic light (7.2 miles), continue to go straight, but get into the left lane. At the next traffic light (7.5 miles- McKnight Road and Cumberland) turn left onto Cumberland Rd. At the bottom of a hill, you will come to the Babcock Boulevard/Cumberland intersection. At the light, turn right onto Babcock Blvd. You will see the Provincial House and a pond on the left. At this time, move into the center turning lane. You will see the blue sign for Kearns Spirituality Center. Turn left into the next driveway between two stone pillars. At the top of the driveway, go through the stop sign, and follow the green signs to Kearns Spirituality Center.
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Three Pictures from the Pirate Home Opener
Posted by:Ken Sutton--Sunday, April 13, 2008
I am not really a baseball fan but last Monday was so beautiful, and I had a little time, so I thought I would head down to the game and maybe take a few pictures.
I was struck by two things.
The beauty of the city 
and the . . .
. . .amount of alcohol that is involved in a baseball game on a Monday afternoon.
There were several trashcans like this outside the stadium at the point where you can no longer take a drink into the game. It was a reminder to me the challenges our kids face every day. 
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