Addiction and "Logic" Posted by:Rocco--Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Addiction and "Logic"



"A person who tries to understand addiction using intellectual logic will become frustrated and feel manipulated by the addict."

"We can sum up emotional logic in the phrase 'I want what I want and I want it now.'"


One of my favorite PSST-isms is "We are good parents; we are not good parents of addicts."


As noted above trying to use our "logic", or "common sense", with our out of control teens can lead to disappointment, frustration, exasperation and anger. It very rarely works. In fact we have come to learn that our teenage addicts are very adept at turning our "logic" or "common sense" around and using it to manipulate us. Below is an interesting explanation of an "addict's logic" vs "our logic".

Emotional Logic

The Addictive Personality - Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior by Craig Nakken - Hazelden 1988

Addiction starts out as an emotional illusion that is entrenched in the addict before others around the addict or even the addict himself realizes that an addictive relationship has been formed.

The addict starts to build a defense system to protect the addictive belief system against attacks from others, but only after the addiction is well established on an emotional level. On a thinking intellectual level, the addict knows that an object cannot bring emotional fulfillment.

Alcoholics have heard the old saying "You can’t escape into a bottle." Workaholics know "there’s more to life than just work." Addictive spenders understand "money can’t buy happiness."

The illness of addiction begins very deep within a person, and his or her suffering takes place on an emotional level. Intimacy, positive or negative, is an emotional experience that is not logically evaluated. Addiction is an emotional relationship with an object or event, through which addicts try to meet their needs for intimacy.

When looked at in this way, the logic of addiction starts to become clear. When compulsive eaters feel sad, they eat to feel better. When alcoholics start to feel out of control with anger, they have a couple of drinks to get back in control.

Addiction is very logical and follows a logical progression, but this progression is totally based on what I call emotional logic, not intellectual logic.

A person who tries to understand addiction using intellectual logic will become frustrated and feel manipulated by the addict. This is partly why talk therapy (talking one-on-one with only a counselor and without a support group) is so ineffective in convincing addicts to end their destructive, addictive relationships.

We can sum up emotional logic in the phrase "I want what I want and I want it now." Emotional needs often feel very urgent and compulsive. Emotional logic works to satisfy this urgency even if it is not in the best interest of the person.

For example, a compulsive gambler tells himself he is done gambling for the week. Shortly, however, he has a rough day at work and feels uneasy, so he looks over his racing form to try to ease his feelings, still telling himself he won’t gamble anymore this week. While reviewing the racing form, he starts to hear his emotional logic telling him he has found a sure bet. "Why didn’t I see this before?" he says. "It’d be crazy for me to miss this opportunity!" Thus, he becomes pitted against himself ---- one side believing in his "sure thing," the other reminding him of his promise not to gamble for the rest of the week. Inside, the emotional pressure builds. Because addiction involves the deep need to have emotional needs met and emotional pressures relieved, he finally must give in to his urge, especially after he has convinced himself he would be stupid not to grab this opportunity.

Emotional logic pits the addict against himself or herself.

In the book Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a sentence that reads, "Remember that we deal with alcohol ---- cunning, baffling, powerful!"

This is also one of the most truthful ways to describe the emotional logic found in all addictions: ---- cunning, baffling, powerful.