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Quote of the Week
"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way" ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
101 Natural Highs
Posted by:Jenn--Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Those of you who have a Kindle might be
interested in Cathy Taughinbaugh’s e-book “101 Natural Highs for an Amazing
Drug-Free Life”. It’s normally $2.99, but is currently on sale for $0.99. The
sale ends on Saturday, July 19th. Click here for more information about the book.
In the book are reminders and new ideas particularly targeted toward someone in recovery, who needs to fill the hole left by his/her
drug or alcohol use. This book also appears to be useful for those who are looking for ways to "take care of themselves," while dealing with a family member who has a drug or alcohol dependency.
Here
are some reviews from Amazon:
"101 Natural Highs is a treasure trove of
ideas that bring joy, meaning and enjoyment into anyone's life."
"Engaging,
not too long, and a reminder that there is so much a person can do without
drugs or alcohol."
Read More......
In 2008, our oldest son had been arrested for beating up a kid and taking his iPod, along with another boy. We were totally in shock. We never imagined he would break the law, especially in this manner. We already knew he was experimenting with weed and alcohol, and was disrespectful of us at home, but we had worked with 2 different family therapists and were very involved with school counselors and school social workers. We thought we were on top of things. At about the same time, our youngest son was starting his own rebellion with weed, skipping school, bad friends, disrespect.
Between the two of them, one or the other was sneaking out of windows at night to joy ride in my car without a license, coming home drunk or high, hanging out in unsafe neighborhoods with parents that would smoke weed with them, owning a gun, and lying constantly, and we never really knew all of this was going on until after the arrest. We were manipulated at every turn, but were so overwhelmed, we didn't realize it. When we did, we had no skills to deal with it. I was humiliated, felt judged, embarrassed, sad, frightened, anxious, and had no person I could confide in -- until I found PSST, on the internet.
I
called the number and Lloyd answered. He explained how the group worked, and
urged me to come to a meeting. I was very worried I would be the only
"normal" parent in the room. I was sure if parents went to this
group, their kids must really be "bad" and the parents probably
weren't very savvy, like I thought I was. I attended a meeting and it changed
my life.
I
noticed with a bit of surprise and relief that the parents were just like me.
My sons were just like their kids, and some were actually friends of my boys. I
was no longer ashamed, and I certainly didn't feel judged. It stopped me from
feeling helpless and gave me the tools to be pro-active and in control of my
home and myself. I learned these things in the most supportive atmosphere with
the best junk food. I knew everyone understood how I felt. I had gained the
greatest friends in the process. I was hooked, and I went to every meeting,
every location, every month for a solid 2 years.
It
was at PSST that I acquired my arsenal of weapons: "I'm not comfortable
with that", "Would you like to ask me again?", "I will not
keep your secrets", "You aren't going to like what I'm going to
say" and my personal favorite "YOU'RE RIGHT! I AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT
THAT!" I was shocked that they worked so well and so quickly with our
boys. Mel & I learned we were so afraid of their big reactions, that we
avoided confrontation at all costs. But the cost of doing nothing was huge.
We can't say
enough about how important PSST is for a parent in our position. I tell anyone
I meet with a similar issue to come to a meeting and read the blog. Role-plays
and insights from the group’s leaders are invaluable teaching tools. The advice
we received helped us out of limbo and into action. We had access to some of
the most empathetic, generous and truly caring mental health professionals we
have ever dealt with. We know of no other group or place that offers the help
to parents we received from PSST and we are forever grateful.
Our current status:
Our elder son Michael is living in
an apartment with his very lovely girlfriend, and continues to be enrolled in a
CCAC trade program. He is looking for a job (to supplement his landscaping job
which is very part time) and not having much success. We’ve tried to help with
advice and contacts. His response : “Thanks, I appreciate your help, but if you
help, it won’t be my accomplishment. I want to do this myself”. Wow.
Our younger son David just
graduated from high school and walked in commencement, which is something we
honestly didn’t know would happen until finals were over. He continues to work
on the line in a nice restaurant, getting more hours and gaining more
experience. He plans to go to culinary school, but we all agreed he should just
work for a while to be sure. His goal is to move into an apartment by the
spring of 2015. The worst thing I can say about him living at home is that he
doesn’t clean up after himself (his bedroom is scary) to my standards...but he
is otherwise pleasant and reasonable.
We are truly proud of both of
them.
I still use PSST-isms almost every
time I communicate with either boy, while continuing to work on myself; to not
enable, to not hover, to not sweat the small stuff, and to keep in mind that
they have their own identities and personalities and are not merely extensions
of us.
Max
Read More......
Our recent PSST meetings have had a recurring theme about creating and maintaining intimacy within the family. Click here for an article that defines intimacy and basic steps for achieving it, and here for an article that discusses how to cultivate ongoing relationships with your adult children.
As stated in the first article,
“Intimacy
is a dance. It deepens or is eroded by every interaction we have.
The good news is that every interaction you have is a chance to shift onto a
positive track and deepen your connection to your loved ones.”
Read More......
The Shatterproof Challenge Pittsburgh rappelling event has been rescheduled for Tuesday, July 15. All additional information requested by the Pittsburgh
Dept of Building Inspections has been provided, and the City has approved the event. Shatterproof stresses that Over the Edge has hosted over 400
rappelling fundraisers and has an impeccable safety record. (That should make Abby feel better.)
For the initial blog posting about this event, check out this link.
Read More......
The following information is from an article published by the ABC News Medical Unit. For the complete article, click here.
According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, in 2002 there were 2.4
million toxic ingestions, and more than half of these occurred in children
younger than 6. Children aged 18 to 36 months seemed to be at the highest risk,
and in these little bodies, just one pill can be deadly.
Even more worrisome is the
fact that, after taking some of these pills, a child can appear perfectly fine
until it is too late. "Within two
hours, we have seen patients go from ingestion to death -- even after taking
only one to two pills."
Even when parents make a
habit of keeping medicines out of their children's reach, children seem to be drawn
to pill bottles when they are out for only a short amount of time. There have also been cases where
a visitor to the home drops a pill, or when children find pills on the floor in
a hotel room, in which case parents bring them to the emergency room having no
idea what they took.
For these reasons, parents should recognize the high risk of accidental
ingestions and be prepared to act. Call 911 immediately, experts say, or call
the Poison Control Center at 1-800-222-1222. Parents should be prepared to
take their child to the hospital immediately, and bring the bottle
of whatever the child took. Importantly, new
guidelines from the American Association of Pediatrics urge against the use of
Ipecac or any other mechanism to induce vomiting.
Fortunately, once children
are in the emergency room, doctors can rapidly respond, as some medications
have antidotes, reversal agents or supportive therapy.
Below are seven common medicines that can lead
to emergencies when accidentally ingested by kids.
- heart
pills
- muscle
rubs
- prescription
pain medications
- aspirin
and oil of wintergreen
- depression
drugs
- topical blood pressure patches, eye drops, and
nasal sprays
- diabetes drugs
Read More......
We invite you to share your story with us - using, of course, "pen names" to maintain your family's anonymity. Knowing that we share many of the same experiences, heartaches and joys can be very helpful to others in the same situation. How are you coping with your child's addiction? What do you need help with? Let's support each other!
Send your story to gopsst@gmail.com.
Read More......
Happy Father's Day!
Posted by:Jenn--Thursday, June 12, 2014
When I was a boy of
fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man
around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had
learned in seven years.
~ Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi", Atlantic Monthly, 1874
Dad
© Karen K. Boyer
He never looks for
praises
He's never one to boast
He just goes on quietly working
For those he loves the most
His dreams are seldom spoken
His wants are very few
And most of the time his worries
Will go unspoken too
He's there.... A firm foundation
Through all our storms of life
A sturdy hand to hold to
In times of stress and strife
A true friend we can turn to
When times are good or bad
One of our greatest blessings,
The man that we call Dad.
Read More......
At a recent PSST meeting, someone
mentioned the 5 Love Languages, as presented in the book by Gary Chapman: words
of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical
touch. You may be aware that the 5
languages pertain to the relationship between husbands and wives, but you may
not know that these same languages are relevant to your relationship with your child
as well.
It’s easy to tell when a
teenager wants to be loved. Getting the message across is another matter
entirely. In addition to the obvious generation gap, many parents and children
face a sort of language barrier as well. The 5 Love languages of Teenagers is
an invaluable tool for analyzing a teen’s love language and expressing your
affections in an effective way. The search for love in a teenager’s life can
lead to disastrous results. But if you can speak the right language, the
difference can seem miraculous.
If you go to the website http://www.5lovelanguages.com/, look
under the words Discover your Love Language, where you will see the words Click
Here to Begin. You and your spouse can choose
to do the profile for yourselves, but you can also choose to do it for “My
Child”. In either case, the assessment
will score your rankings of the 5 Love Languages. You will see the following if you
choose to do the assessment for your child:
The Love Language Profile for Teenagers is designed to give you
a thorough analysis of your teenager’s emotional communication preference. It
will single out their primary love language, what it means, and how you can use
it to better understand them during this stage of their life. Invite them to
take the assessment and share their results with you. Not only will you show
them that you care, but that you are also striving to be a better parent.
You may want to first take the profile yourself, selecting the
statements you believe most accurately describe your teen. Then once they have
also taken the assessment, compare your results with theirs. This can make for
a lively and constructive conversation.
Read More......
What do gravel, puppy chow, lemon drop, spice, molly, purple
drank, and bromo dragonfly all have in common?
Their innocuous names are in direct contrast to their
possible side effects. Yes, they can
make their users feel happy, excitable, perhaps even euphoric. Yet they can also lead to hallucinations, paranoia,
seizures, convulsions, aggressive behavior, emergency room visits, even
death.
These drugs are all part of the emerging drug scene. According to the Regional Organized Crime
Information Center:
New drugs are
emerging at an unprecedented rate as manufacturers of “legal high” products use
new chemicals to replace those that are banned. These new chemicals take the
place of heroin, morphine, and amphetamines. These drugs are highly accessible,
touted as legal, and perceived as safe. However,
despite the popularity in designer drugs and legal high products, the abuse of
heroin and prescription painkiller medication is still trending throughout the
country.
If you want to increase your awareness about these drugs, click here for more information about emerging drug trends and the dangers they pose to our children and our communities.
Read More......
Our own Adventurous
Abby is going to rappel from the side of the Westin at Liberty Center in
Pittsburgh on June 25th. Abby
is looking forward to this as a thrilling opportunity (most of us would
consider it to be terrifying!) to participate in the nationwide Shatterproof
Challenge. The Challenge will raise
awareness and funds for Shatterproof, a 501(c) organization devoted to ending
the stigma of addiction; providing families with critical information and
support; bringing evidence-based approaches to bear on prevention, treatment
and recovery; and changing public policy.
Shatterproof has an impressive list of board advisors & partner
organizations (including the Clinton Foundation, Marriott International, and
the National Hockey League).
Read More......
Happy Mother's Day
Posted by:Jenn--Saturday, May 10, 2014
In whatever way you can, no matter how difficult your family's situation may be right now, try to find a way to celebrate your love of life and of your family!! (You owe it to yourself.)
Read More......
Why Mothers Cry
Posted by:Jenn--Monday, May 05, 2014
"Why are you crying?" he asked his Mom.
"Because I am a mother," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom hugged him and said, "You never will."
Later, the little boy asked his father
why mother cried for no reason.
"All mothers cry for no reason"
was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man
still wondering why mothers cry.
So he finally asked God,
"God, why do mothers cry so easily?"
God said, "You see son,
when I made mothers, they had to be special.
I made their shoulders strong enough
to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave them an inner strength to
endure childbirth and the rejection
that many times comes from their children.
I gave them a hardiness that allows
them to keep going on when everyone else gives up,
and to take care of their families through sickness
and fatigue without complaining.
I gave them the sensitivity to love their
children under all circumstances,
even when their child has hurt them very badly.
This same sensitivity helps them to
make a child's boo-boo feel better,
and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears.
I gave them a tear to shed,
It's theirs exclusively to use whenever it is needed.
It is their only weakness.
It is a tear for mankind."
Author
Unknown
Read More......
One of our PSST dads shared the following at a recent PSST meeting:
Over the years, most men accumulate a lot of tools
in their toolboxes. It seems like you
can never have too many tools for doing work around the house. Before PSST, I had only one tool in my
toolbox for dealing with my child’s addiction.
It was a hammer. I used that
hammer for everything. With PSST, I now
have many tools in my toolbox, and I am better-prepared to deal with the
challenges that life sends my way.
Add to your toolbox – come to a
PSST meeting to share and learn, or read some of the role-plays or articles on
this blog. Help to save your child’s
life, and perhaps save your own life in the process!
Read More......
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