Agreeing & Setting Boundaries with Teenagers Posted by:Jenn--Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sometimes the wisdom of PSST just pops into your head.  And of course the opposite is also true – sometimes it doesn’t.  But when it does, if really feels good.

Son:  Maxine gave me this gift card for my graduation.  Would you give me cash for the gift card?

Mom:  No, Maxine gave that to you specifically because you said you wanted clothes from Macy’s.  She would have bought you the clothes herself if she thought she could have picked something you would like.

Son:  That’s what makes me so mad.  You & Dad always want to control how I spend my money!

Mom:  What do you want to do with it?

Son:  I need it for cigarettes and food from McDonald’s.

Mom:  I'm not comfortable with that.

Son:  Well it’s my gift card and I can do what I want with it.

 

Mom:  (pausing & thinking before responding)  You’re right, it is your gift card, and I can’t control what you do with it.  What you have to think about is the next time you see Maxine, and she asks what you bought with that gift card, whether you will be proud to say that you spent it on cigarettes and fast food.

Son:  So you’ll give me the cash for it?

Mom:  No, I won’t do that.

Son:  (fuming silently)

Fast forward to the next morning . . .

Son:  Will you take me to Macy’s this morning?   I want to buy some clothes.