My son will be 27 in a couple of weeks and we once again have a close
relationship. However we had our rough spots. He was arrested at 17
and the actions I needed to take to keep him safe and get him the help he
needed caused him to become very angry. I refer to him as The Addict during these times because the addiction had control and he was not behaving as himself. It is like he was locked away inside while The Addict had control on the outside. If your son (or daughter) is trapped in this situation, be assured that he is still in there. Your job is to free him from The Addict. And once he is free, you will see him again.
But it will get rocky along the way. There were periods of time where The Addict hated me and didn't talk to me for months. However eventually my son thanked me for all I did and we began to rebuild our relationship. But this may take a couple of years. It did for my son and I.
So . . . there may be times that it feels that you are losing your son (or daughter). . . but you are not. What is happening is you are forcing your child to lose The Addict and The Addict doesn't want to leave.
Hang in there and set your child free of The Addict.
Lori
2 comments:
I remember your stories about your son in a meeting in 2011. I admired your steadfast loyalty towards your son, but your recent comments have upifted me and have given me some hope. My husband and I told our soon to be 20 year old son that we love him, and will be there for him whenever he stops using. Until then, we can no longer have a reationship with him.
As his mother, I am feeling very guilty, but your words were beneficial to me. I feel our absence needs to send a message to the addict, that we want our son back. Sadly I believe my son needs to hit a painful bottom in order for this to happen.
Thank you for your insight.
Jessica
This was a great post and I think it gives a lot of parents hope that their addicted child is still in there. Thank you for sharing.
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