Our son, Cisco successfully completed the program at Liberty Station. We attended the exit ceremony and were given a chance along with all others in attendance to tell Cisco our hopes and fears that we have for him. Many of his fellow Liberty Station-ites had a lot of wisdom for him. His P.O. pointedly explained that Cisco needs to acquire a bit of humility. My main focus was on how very proud I am of him. It is not easy to live away from home since January 19th and to do the program. I am very proud. And Rocco, who is his father, told him that he would always be there for him; not to enable him but to help him achieve his dreams. I was touched with the sincerity and kindness that Rocco had. It shows that our family is healing a little bit more each and every day. Cisco has a job and is waiting for the results of his GED. If he passes the GED he will sign up for college at CCAC and if he does not he will sign up for a GED tutoring course. He is continuing his recovery program through Gateway Squirrel Hill. I am starting to feel somewhat comfortable having him back home. This is his fourth day home and we have only had minor breaks of the home contract. He is pushing some of the limits and I am being prompted by his P.O. to push back and keep control. Here is the contract which Cathy from Wesley-Spectrum helped us with. It is rather comrehensive and we decided we wil review it each week to see if we need to make changes to it.
The Morkus Family - Home Contract - July 19, 2010
House Rules:
1. Do not use drugs or drink alcohol.
2. No smoking inside of house. Use ashtray for all butts and ashes when smoking on porch.
(Empty ashtray each evening and wrap butts in plastic bag and throw in outside garbage.)
3. Ninety meetings in ninety days.
4. Accept random drug tests.
5. Respect parents & property. Don’t raise your voice/we won’t raise ours. If you disagree with something calmly talk with us about it. If you break something replace or repair it.
6. No pre-marital sex allowed in our home. Keep your hands (and body) to yourself.
7. Phone use to be decided. Tell us who and why you are calling.
8. Thirty-Two hours/week of work/schooling. Must be done during mom’s work hours.
9. Attend IOP at Gateway.
10. All doors are locked at 11:30 p.m. and may not be opened until 5:30 a.m.
11. All money earned or received as gifts must be accounted for on a daily basis.
12. Out of respect for your parent’s wishes, you may not get a tattoo or any more body piercings while living at home.
13. No friends allowed inside or outside of our house without a parent being at home.
14. Approved friends are allowed over only after parental permission.
(At this time Cisco has two approved friends –
15. You must accept ‘No’ when that is our answer.
16. Parents must approve all outside activities.
17. T.V. use will be supervised.
18. Internet will be turned off at 11:30 p.m.
It may be difficult for you to follow some of these rules. You had a hard time with the contract when you returned from Ridgeview. Regardless, there is always hope. Your attitude may have improved since then and you appear to be more mature.
(This contract will be reviewed and may be revised as needed on a weekly basis.)
Dad and I want you home, clean and sober. Love, Mom and Dad
Click to go to Rules of the Road for a look at another Probation Contract. Also, Caron Foundation has an interesting home contract for use upon discharge from inpatient drug rehab.
A Look at A Home Contract
Posted by:Sally--Monday, December 20, 2010
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2 comments:
Timing is important with contracts. There are optimal times, e.g., just before discharge from inpatient, just before a teenager is allowed to move back home, or just before a Detention Hearing at Shuman. Copy and paste the link at the end of this post to go to a role-play where the mother missed the window of opportunity because she let her daughter come home first and thought that she would work out the details to the contract later.
http://nevertheless-psst.blogspot.com/2009/02/role-plays-from-2-7-09-psst-designed-to.html
Here is a contract we wrote for our son who is contemplating returning home. We used contracts found here as inspiration. We decided to word this one in the "positive" rather than as a list of things he can't do.
Living at Home Agreement
We want home to be a clean, sober and safe place for all of us.
These are the two non-negotiable terms to you returning home and staying at home, once you do;
1. Accept random drug & alcohol tests on 2 hours notice and provide consent for us to see the results
2. Make and attend weekly drug counselling appointments or attend weekly 12-step meetings or combination of both *
* may go to every second week after 2-3 months, on advice of drug counsellor
These are the basic house rules and we commit to acting in the same fair manner towards you;
• Sober living; no use of street drugs, including marijuana. Drink alcohol in moderation (below level of intoxication).
• Have considerate and unselfish interaction with others
• Respect parents & siblings & respect their personal property. Ask if you want to use something; accepting the answer whether it is yes or no.
• Speak calmly and quietly. There is no reason for anyone (you or us) to raise our voice. If you disagree with something calmly express your opinion, respecting that the final decision rests with us in our home.
• Respect that quiet is wanted in all common areas of the house (use electric guitar, computer, music, Xbox, etc with headphones.
• Speak politely to and about others (say positive or neutral things, no criticism or ridicule)
• Clean up after yourself (bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, etc.)
• The doors will be locked at 11:20 p.m. on weeknights and 1 am on weekends. If you are home before that time, you can come in. If you can’t be home at that time; please let us know before 11 pm where you are staying overnight.
• Call to let us know what your plans are or if there is a change of plans
• Do your chores without needing to be reminded
• If you have a slip, just tell us. We can support you best if you are honest with us.
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